I Just Need You Now
by BiBenji
Summary: In a crazy twist of fate, Santana and Brittany run into each other at a club 5 years after Santana ripped out Brittany's heart and walked all over it. They've grown up and apart, so what will a rocky trip into the past do for both women? *M* *Complete!*
1. Chapter 1

**AN: Hey guys, so first try at a fanfic but I've been writing for a long time so hopefully it's not too rough. This is a fanfic, emphasis on the FIC, but the flashbacks are based on my past experience with an ex so bare with me. I am trying to stay as true to the past as possible but I am def open to feedback and constructive criticism. It's a work in progress but I'm writing more as we speak. Thanks! xox Benji**

**Disclaimer: I don't own glee or any of the characters, nor do I own Fox. But I do own the ideas in my head that are now spilling on to this page painting this story you are about to enjoy... (I hope!)**

Chpt 1

"Did you see that smokin' blonde on the dance floor?"

"Yeah, I couldn't believe how fluid her movements were, I could feel myself getting hot just watching her move."

"Right? God, I'm jealous of that girl."

"Who?"

"The one who has the balls to actually talk to her right now."

Santana stilled as she listened to the women conversing next to her at the bar. The woman they were describing sounded vaguely familiar, but that was practically a lifetime ago and there was no way it was who she thought it was. The lesbian club was packed as usual on a Friday night; it could be any blonde woman they were talking about. All the same, Santana found herself scanning the club for the woman she hadn't seen in nearly 5 years. It was something she found herself doing anytime she was out at a club or bar. If she was honest, she silently hoped to see her, even if it was just a trick of her subconscious. Her eyes came to rest on a blonde headed figure who was bending close to a shorter woman, probably trying to hear her better. As much as she didn't want to believe it, the figure looked undeniably like a woman from her past, even without seeing her face. Before she even made a decision, Santana found her feet deciding to cure her curiosity.

"Brittany?"

The blonde stilled for a moment before refocusing her attention on the petite Italian woman in front of her. _That sounded way too familiar… But there isn't anyway it was her, even if it had the same soft tones just the way she use to say my name… I clearly need to slow down on the Long Islands…_ Brittany was lost in her own thoughts, smiling at the smaller woman who now had her hand brushing up Brittany's arm.

"Britt-Britt."

_Yup, that's her, she's the only one who ever called me that and no one has since then… But how…? _Nudging from the Italian woman snapped her back out of her thoughts. She was pointing behind the blonde and, though Brittany couldn't hear her, she knew the woman was telling her that someone wanted her attention. Brittany stood and started to turn around slowly, almost as if she was scared of what she might find when she did, or who.

Santana swallowed thickly, she hadn't thought this far through her plan and most surely did not expect the blonde to be her blonde. _Use to be my blonde,_ she quickly corrected herself. As Brittany turn around, Santana took in everything she remembered and imagined. Still as physically tone as she was years ago, Brittany hadn't changed much. Her hair still fell in shimmering locks around her face, her movements were still as fluid as water when she moved, and her bright blue eyes were still just as intense and inviting as the first time Santana had let herself look into them. She was still holding herself with a confident poise that could only come from being in her element, and not realizing how amazing she looked. But there was something more there; Brittany's eyes held a look of independence and self-assurance that hadn't been there when they had parted.

While Santana analyzed her, Brittany let her eyes do a once-over, as well. Her dark hair was curled lightly at the ends and shone in the club lights. Santana's dark chocolate eyes brought a sense of warmth and mystery to her being. There were a few crinkles around her eyes from laughing and Brittany had to remind herself to breathe when she realized she hadn't been the cause of those lines. The tight dress Santana wore hugged her curves and Brittany could tell that the years in college hadn't worn on her figure much; she wasn't quite as toned but still very much in shape. Brittany had to wonder, though, at what felt so different about her ex-lover. As her eyes continued down Santana's body, she noticed the glinting diamond on her left hand. Brittany quickly brought her eyes back to Santana's and noticed the fire that used to be behind those eyes, the passion, was dimmed if not missing all together. Santana smiled at the blonde nervously and Brittany sat down again at the now empty table. Santana looked to the empty seat across from the blonde and then back to Brittany's eyes. She nodded slightly and Santana joined her, looking into her drink and playing with her straw.

"So.. Um, what are you doing here?" Brittany was the first to break the ice, though of course there wasn't really any silence considering the crowded club and bar.

Santana looked up and laughed, "I should ask you the same question, I do live here you know."

Brittany smiled and nodded, waiting for her to explain.

"I was invited to Quinn's graduation party, weird to think that she's already done with PT school. I feel like it was just last week when I walked in on her and Rachel having sex on our dorm floor since they fell out of her bunk."

They both laughed at the memory.

"I know, it's crazy that they finally got married, I'm so happy for them, though. They are good for each other and are really happy."

Santana smiled before asking, "So why are you here? I thought you'd still be back in Colorado or even on to California at this point."

"Yeah, I am actually in Cali now but Quinn also invited me to the party and since I had a break from performing I figured I would make the trip and see some other friends from Rockhurst, as well, while out here." Brittany sighed, this was weird talking to Santana like nothing happened. Her eyes were drawn to the ring again.

"So, how long?" She asked, tilting her head towards Santana's left hand that was playing with the straw.

"Oh, um, we've been engaged for 4 months. Haven't set a date yet, though." Santana gazed at the ring on her hand, a smile twitched at her mouth that didn't make it to her eyes. She reached over and absent-mindedly started twisting the ring with her other hand. "What about you, any new girls in the picture for you out in the mountains?"

Brittany's eyes stayed glued to Santana's hands, though, and didn't even acknowledge the brunette's question. "Why do you still have that?"

Santana's hands stilled and followed Brittany's line of sight to her right hand. "Oh… I don't know, I just never thought to take it off I guess."

"I would have thought you'd throw it away when I left," Brittany finally tore her eyes from the silver band and met Santana's eyes.

They stared at one another for several moments before Santana looked down again, a slight blush of embarrassment coloring her cheeks. "I did when I got home from the hotel that night. I was so mad at you, at myself, at the situation, that I threw it all at the trashcan in my room without even reading your letter." She chanced to look up and found blue eyes looking at her questioningly, so she continued. "A few hours later Moxie jumped into my lap when I was watching TV with Puck and was chewing on something. I pulled the ring from her mouth and put it in my pocket. Before I went to bed I finally read your letter, and haven't taken the ring off since." Santana shrugged like it was no big deal and took a sip from her drink, looking at the blonde over the rim.

Brittany again found herself lost in thought wondering why Santana would have that ring still even after all of this time. She smiled slightly as she remembered the day she gave Santana that ring, and chuckled as the events of that trip played out again in her head.


	2. Chapter 2

Chpt 2

"Andy, she can't come to the phone right now ok? She is sick and honestly, your persistant calling isn't making the situation any better." Brittany listened, with an annoyed expression, to the voice on the other end of the line trying to get her to cave and put Santana on. She rolled her eyes when she saw Santana look her direction from where she lay on the bed, close to the edge where the bucket was. "No, Andy, I can't. She's sick and drunk and doesn't want to talk to you right now. She'll call tomorrow or something, bye." With that, Brittany closed Santana's phone without waiting for Andy's reply. He had called four times that night since they got to Marshall, it was starting to really ride on Brittany's nerves.

Santana smiled at her weakly, silently thanking her for getting rid of him. It had been a difficult situation for both of them. Difficult for Santana to juggle and difficult for Brittany to keep quiet about. They'd been together for almost three months and still Santana hadn't been able to talk to Andy to break it off with the on-again, off-again boyfriend for good. Being that he was in the military and stationed in southern California, Santana wanted to wait til he came home for a visit to do it in person. That visit was actually going to be in a few days, and both girls were extremely anxious about it.

Brittany rolled back over on the bed and crawled up next to Santana, rubbing her back and drawing patterns until she heard the even breathing indicating the brunette had fallen asleep. She smiled into the darkness and slipped her arm around Santana's waist before closing her own eyes.

"Hey girls do you want…" Ms Lopez trailed off as she took in the sight before her. Her daughter was laying on her stomach, her left arm draped over the sleeping blonde, and her head rising and falling with Brittany's chest. Brittany, in turn, had an arm wrapped around Santana protectively and her chin resting on Santana's head. Ms Lopez had known the girls were close, that much was no secret. Ever since they met in late March, Brittany was all Santana talked about and the blonde seemed to tag along to family events and things much more often. The girls got close quickly, and Ms Lopez was no fool, she had an idea there was more to their bond than friendship but hadn't seen any evidence of that idea until now. She smiled and headed back up stairs quietly.

An hour later she called downstairs loudly, before she made her way to the basement, to make sure the girls heard her. Santana was just rolling off of a very groggy Brittany when she reached the ground level. Santana sat up quickly, regretting the fast action immediately as her head began pounding with her heart beat, and moaned. "Hey girls, want some breakfast? Kelly made pancakes and then I think a little later we will all head into town for the art fair if that sounds good to you both."

"Yeah that sounds awesome, Ms Mom, thanks!" Brittany replied in her far too chipper morning voice for Santana's liking. "San needs some advil, too, I think. We'll be up in a few, thanks Ms Mom!" Brittany never liked calling people's parents by their last names so she either used their first names or named them 'Mrs Mom' or 'Dad' depending on how close she felt to them.

"Do you think she saw me practically laying on you?" Santana looked over at the blonde who had laid back down on the bed and continued her shape drawings on Santana's back. Brittany saw the concern in Santana's eyes and shook her head smiling. "I doubt it, even if she did it's not like she'd care. She IS living with Kelly, and best friends can cuddle without it having to mean anything. I don't know why you're so worried, though." Brittany's smile had turned into a small frown as she quickly got up to throw on some shorts over her cheekies and headed towards the stairs.

Santana watched the dancer dress and go up stairs. She cursed under her breath and pulled on some sweats. _She's right, I don't know why I am always so damn worried. It's not like mom and Kelly would judge me, they love Brittany like a daughter and mom is with a woman. Fuck why is this so damn hard? _Santana let out a heavy sigh as she reached the top of the stairs, hearing the bubbly blonde chatting with Kelly and her mom about the art fair later that day. Sometimes, Santana thought Brittan should go into acting, she was able to seamlessly cover up when anything was wrong. Santana on the other hand was not as good at hiding things.

They were in the basement again, putting away the old pictures of Santana when she was younger. Brittany had giggled at the ridiculous hair Santana and her sister had in the pageant pictures. Ms Mom had started the girls in pageants as infants and had Santana and Sierra in frilly dressed and crazy curly hair.

"I can't believe your hair even got that curly, San, you look like you had a perm!" Brittany fought off another round of giggles when Santana shot her a scowl.

"Yeah, well, we might as well have had one. Mom had Si and in rollers for hours before those damn things. I was a cute kid though, at least until the accident." Santana's voice took over a sad tone and Brittany scooted closer, pulling the smaller girl into her arms and rubbing her thumb over the exposed pinkish scar in her thigh. "Hey, at least the barbed wire didn't get your gorgeous face. Besides, I think the scars are way sexy, so I don't mind." She smiled and kissed the Latina's temple. "Thanks, B." Santana yawned and stood up, holding out her hand to help the blonde up. "Let's get ready for bed, we got a lot to do tomorrow after we get back to Kansas City. I can't believe I'm going to be 21 already, it's weird and I feel so old." Brittany pushed the girl slightly, while brushing her teeth, "You're not that old, San, only like a year and a half til I turn 21, too."

Santana smiled at the girl through the mirror before placing a kiss to her bare shoulder and slipping into bed. Brittany turned off the lights and followed suit, cuddling up close to the smaller girls back and holding her tightly. Santana turned in the girl's arms and sought out blue eyes in the dark. She smiled and caressed Brittany's cheek before leaning in and pressing a gentle kiss to her lips. Brittany smiled into the kiss; she loved Santana's kisses the best of anyone she'd kissed (which was a lot of people, she was a bit of a make out whore). They were so gentle, yet firm and passionate, like everything San couldn't seem to say out loud went into those kisses. Brittany leaned back and smiled at the girl next to her. She placed a chaste kiss to Santana's lips and quickly got out of bed. Santana watched, confused and slightly cold from the lack of body heat, as Brittany crouched down next to her backpack and retrieved a small box. The blonde walked back to the bed and sat on her knees next to the Latina, a small shy smile adorning her features. Now Santana was really confused, Brittany hadn't been shy with her since they met a few months ago. "What's with the box, B?"

"It's part of your birthday gift. The other part I can give you in front of others, but this I wanted to give you in private, and with Andy coming in tomorrow I don't think I'll get another chance." Brittany said softly, turning the box over in her hands as a silent tear made its way down her cheek.

Santana saw the light glisten on Brittany's cheek and gently wiped away the tear. She knew the next few days were going to be hard, especially for Britt. It wasn't the ideal situation but she owed Andy enough to do this in person, it just sucked she had to wait a few days still pretending til after her party and after Britt left.

Brittany sniffed and smiled, handing Santana the silver box. Santana took it and slowly opened the lid to reveal a silver band with a pink, heart shaped diamond in the center and two white diamonds on each side. It wasn't a huge ring, the diamonds all were in the band so that it wouldn't catch on fabric or anything. She gasped and pulled the ring out of the box to look at it closer. The Latina smiled, eyes glistening, at the adorable gesture and had to laugh at how well the blonde knew her in such a short amount of time. Brittany knew Santana hated bulky jewelry and had a secret soft spot for romantic gestures. She turned on the bed side lamp and turn the ring in her fingers, about to put it on her left ring finger, when something caught her eye. There was writing inscribed on the inside of the band. "I will always love you. Xo B"

Santana slipped the ring on her finger, not surprised to find that Britt had somehow gotten her ring size correct, and then flung herself at the blonde, pushing her into the bed. "I love it, Britt-Britt, thank you so much" she said into the blonde's hair, still holding her tight. When Santana finally loosened her grip, Brittany looked up at the smiling Latina and spoke what she'd only ever said in texts. "I love you." It was barely a whisper, Brittany wasn't sure she'd even said it out loud. The Latina smiled even bigger and leaned down to envelope Brittany in a passionate kiss. "I love you, too, B" she whispered back as she pulled away.

The girls lay in each others arms just staring at each other with lazy, love-struck smiles playing on their faces. Santana sighed and looked at her finger, loving the way the moon light hit it just right from the window. _God, I love this girl so much. She is so sweet and caring, and so damn cute being all shy and bashful. I wish we could just stay here the entire week she's here. No Andy, no parents/grandparents… Oh fuck, Andy. And I have a ring now… Well I'm not taking it off, he can just get over it, best friends can give best friends jewelry, and no one has to know what the inside says… Ugh, I wish this was going to be easy…_While Santana was lost in her own thoughts, Brittany was silently preparing herself to deal with Andy's arrival. They had never met in person before, but she had been in Santana's room when they had Skyped a number of times so she had talked to him and vice versa. She never liked the guy, he just gave off this vibe of being a complete asshole and treated Santana poorly, always being over protective and flipping shit if she didn't answer a phone call or text, while he was out getting shitty with his military buddies in California. She knew the feeling was mutual, though. Santana had told her that Andy was threatened by her and they often fought about the blonde's role in Santana's life. She had never really had a bff before Brittany, so Andy was used to being the one who Santana turned to when she wanted to vent or whatever. So while to Brittany, Andy was a beard for Santana, Andy saw Brittany as his replacement. In both cases, they were competition for the Latina's attention and love. Sleep finally over came both girls and ended their relentless mental marathons.


	3. Chapter 3

**AN: Hey! Thanks so much for all the alerts and favorites! I wasn't sure if I was going to get this chapter finished this week (I'm a senior in college at CU and am dealing with final projects/papers for the semester) but the alerts and favorites drove me to at least finish this one. Sorry it's a little slow moving, I'm trying to work in back story that they missed during the 5 yr separation while showing change and memories. Bare with me, it'll get better! Thanks again!**

**Xox B**

Chpt 3

"Hey Ashley? Have you seen my curling iron?" Brittany yelled down the hall, still rummaging through her stuff in the upstairs bathroom.

Ashley leaned against the door frame and watched Brittany with an eyebrow raised. "Why would I know where your curling iron is? It's not like I can use it," she said pulling on one of her curls and letting it bounce back into place a few times. "Why are you curling your hair anyway? You're just going to coffee with her, and I don't even know why you're doing that. She's a bitch and ripped your heart out, you shouldn't even give her the time of day."

Brittany glanced up into the quizzical sea green eyes of her close friend and sighed. She was staying at Ashley's place while in town, they had been roommates her freshman year of college and teammates on the girls' soccer team for the school. They had hit it off right away, even with Ashley being from a small town in Nebraska, and often they joked about Brittany's sexuality. Britt had even given Ashley a Valentine's card that year that had two female silhouettes in a shower; it had been proudly pinned to the girl's cork board for the rest of the year.

"I know, Ash, trust me, this is not what I wanted or expected when I came back here. But here it is and honestly, there are some things I want clarified, everything got so fucked up," Britt said with a sigh, and looked into the bathroom mirror at her reflection. If she was honest, under all of the hate and anger, there was still a deep compassion for the Latina who shattered her heart after fixing it 16 months prior. Ashley peered back at the blonde, sighed again, and wrapped her arms around the girl. "I will always be here to pick up the pieces, but I hope that you are stronger than the last time you saw her and won't need me to be the clean up crew." Brittany smiled and hugged her former roommate back, hoping the same thing.

An hour and two lattes later…

They'd been sitting in a small coffee shop on the Plaza a block away from the hotel they both used to work at. Brittany knew they place well considering the girl she had dated for a few months after Santana worked there, so she spent most of her free time chatting up the customers and helping when she could (and distracting her now ex, often). Ironically, this ex now owned said shop and kept looking at Brittany like she was back from the dead. An hour after getting their first drink, they fell into an uneasy silence. All the small talk had been covered and now they didn't know what to say.

Santana cleared her throat nervously. "So.. uh… how's your knee? It rehab ok?"

Brittany chuckled at Santana's attempt to get to know her again. "Yeah, well after I screwed it up out here I had that first surgery- you knew about that one" Santana nodded, waiting for her to continue. "Well, a year later I had to have a second one. I probably messed it up again when I spent that summer out here and played a few pick up games with Quinn, Rachel, Ashley, and a few others. Anyway, I took physical therapy a little easier the second time around and it seems to be doing really well. Doesn't bother me much anymore. I'm even dancing again."

Santana was shocked by this news; Brittany had given up her first passion (dance) when she was offered a scholarship to play soccer for Rockhurst. Last she knew, Britt took it "as a sign of fate" and never looked back.

"Wow, that's awesome. So what ended up happening?"

"When I transferred home to CU Boulder I didn't know what to do. I had lost the three most important things in my life thanks to my knee; dance, soccer, and you- even though I didn't lose you technically but being 9 hours away driving left like a loss. Plus I wasn't smart enough to double major and go to Med School like you, so I was just kinda flailing for most of my sophomore year til I wandered into the theater building. Long story short, I graduated three years ago with a degree in Dance, specializing in Jazz, Modern, and HipHop."

Santana couldn't help the smile that tugged at the corners of her mouth. That same fire was back in those blue eyes, just like it'd been the few times Brittany had managed to drag her to a club. _Maybe that's where the self-assurance is coming from…_

"So what are you up to now then?"

Brittany laughed, "Geez, San, what's with the 20 questions?" The bubbly blonde joked before answering rather excitedly, "Like I said before, I'm in Cali now. I spent the first six months auditioning for artists here and there and for small roles. Was on So You Think You Can Dance during that time with a kid I knew from college named Mike and even though I didn't get too far in the show, people noticed me. Currently, I'm touring with Beyonce. We just finished the Europe Tour and have a month break before the US Tour. So timing worked out to come see Quinn and Rach and everyone."

"Damn, Britt-Britt! I always knew you were amazing on the dance floor, I'm glad others have taken notice, too," Santana gushed, while grabbing her hand affectionately.

Brittany blushed slightly at the nickname more than the compliment and flicked her gaze to their hands resting on the tabletop. Santana realized her hand was in clear sight for anyone to see and quickly pulled her hand away, glancing around and catching the eye of a petite, dark haired woman who looked similar to the woman who had been hitting on Brittany at the club last night. She recognized the woman from the numerous nights she'd spent in Brittany's room the summer she shared a house with Santana after they broke up. Santana blushed and ducked her head, fiddling with her cell phone in her lap.

Brittany sighed watching, nothing had changed about the Latina before her; she was still the insecure, self conscious girl who was so clearly waging an inner war over her sexuality. _I guess they're right, some things-and people-never change,_ Britt thought sadly.

"It's stuffy in here, come on," Brittany said standing up and moving towards the glass door. Santana followed the blonde with a confused gaze, but slid her sunglasses over her face, giving in to whatever idea she had. Brittany held out her hand, silently asking for the keys, and the brunette handed them over without giving it a second thought. It was too easy for her to slip back into their old ways of being best friends. Ten minutes later, they pulled into the familiar parking lot and got out. The blonde looked around with a small smile and breathed in deep. She headed towards the path before looking over her shoulder at the shocked Latina still by the car, tossed her the keys, laughed when they hit her in the chest, and turned back to the path. Santana snapped out of her confused daze when the keys hit her. She scrambled to pick them up and had to jog to catch up to the long-legged dancer before her.

Brittany smiled as Santana made it to her side, breathing a little harder than normal. She looked out at the fields of grass and trees around them. "Brings back memories huh? I always loved this park."

Another silence fell over them as they were thinking back to the last time either of them were at Loose Park. Neither had been back since that night: the night before Brittany had to leave for the first time to try to start a new life at a new school. It hadn't been an easy night for either of them and the few hours they spent getting bit by mosquitos was filled with tears and promises of making the distance work. The two women came up to the pond with the bridge over it and, without even realizing it, took their usual seats on the bench under a large tree. Brittany had one leg pulled up on the bench with her chin resting on it and was turned toward the brunette who had tucked a leg under the other and was facing her, too. They looked at each other, into the others' eyes that had changed so much since the last time they were here, trying to read each other like they used to be able to do. Everything felt just as it was and could have been.


	4. Chapter 4

**Hey guys, kinda a short chapter but hopefully it wont disappoint. I'm having to work harder at deciding what memories to insert and how, but mostly what they should do in the present times, so any suggestions are appreciated. Next chapter will be up shortly I'm sure. Thanks!**

**Xox B**

Chpt 4

Santana had her legs drapped over Brittany's lap and her head on the blonde's shoulder. They both stared silently into the darkness as crickets chirped not far off. Brittany was shaking with excitement, arousal, nervousness… she wasn't sure what it was but every time she was with the brunette she shook like this. She hated all of their late night "study breaks" and the sneaking around but she understood it. The Latina wasn't prepared for people at their high-school-sized university to know that she was involved with another girl. The school was small enough that most everyone knew Santana by now (with it being her third year there and catching the attention of a lot of the male population), and with Brittany being the hot, blonde bombshell soccer player, everyone knew who she was. Britt sighed internally. She had to respect Santana's fear and understood the need for things to be secret until the right time. Brittany herself had snuck around for nearly three years after telling her parents her sexual feelings as a freshman in high school and having them immediately tell her it was sinful and wrong and then promptly sent her to Christian counseling. But her parents had gotten over their issues, and by her senior year, Britt was dating her first real girlfriend and not having to sneak out of the house to see her. So she understood what Santana was feeling and felt badly for being the cause of all the smaller girl's anxiety. But to be honest, the only thing that really kept the blonde in good spirits about this secret love affair, if it could even be considered that, was the thought that whatever it was they were doing would end when she left in a month.

Brittany intertwined her fingers with Santana's and laid their clasped hands on her lap. The brunette looked up into deep blue eyes and bit her lip nervously. Brittany could see the wheels turning in Santana's head as the Latina's eyebrows furrowed. The blonde leaned forward, stopping only when her lips were a breath away from Santana's. The smaller girl was shocked momentarily before a look of lust and anticipation quickly replaced the shock, and closed the distance between their lips. It wasn't their first kiss by any means, I mean, seriously? These girls got their mack on literally anytime they were alone for more than two seconds. But like every kiss before, Santana was made dizzy by the soft sensation of Brittany's practiced lips on hers. She gasped when the blonde bit gently on her lower lip and tugged it slightly. It was one of the first hot spots Brittany had found on the Latina and it hadn't taken her more than ten seconds the first time they kissed to realize how much it turned the other girl on. Britt smiled, hearing the choked moan caught in Santana's throat, and teasingly pulled away only to smirk as the smaller girl leaned forward trying to follow her lips before opening her eyes with a disappointed huff.

"Ya know, teasing isn't very nice, Britt" Santana said still pouting.

"Eh, I think you secretly love it just like you secretly love me" it was out before the blonde could stop herself from speaking her mind. Sometimes the filter between brain and mouth was really porous. She blushed and looked out across the pond at the frog that had just started to make its presence known.

Santana sat still, letting the mistaken admission from the blonde wash over her. She'd been toying with the fact that she really was falling for the girl, falling harder and faster than she ever had with anyone before. And it scared the hell out of her. She had a boyfriend, he was a douche but he had been there for her for the better part of the last 4 years. And besides that, she wasn't gay. She liked guys, had dated her fair share of them (though she wasn't the slut everyone thought she was, she'd only ever slept with three people including Andy). And she was Catholic for God's sake, it wasn't natural to be feeling like this for her best friend. Who is a girl. An extremely attractive girl, with beautiful blue eyes, a body to kill for, who made her entire personal light up from the natural bouncing energy emitted from the blonde, who made her heart speed up and slow down at the same time, who she secretly dreamt of in nothing more than a string bikini…

"You're right" Santana all but whispered into the stillness.

Brittany snapped her head towards the brunette, thinking she'd only been imagining what she heard.

Santana turned to look the blonde in the eye. She grabbed her hand that had been mindlessly caressing Santana's bare calf and rubbed small circles on the pale skin, loving how amazingly well their hands fit together, like it was meant to be.

"I am… falling for you…" Santana trailed off for a moment, trying to gather courage. "It scares the hell out of me, though, Britt-Britt. I've never done this before and honestly, have never felt this strongly for someone in my life. I've always been independent and took care of myself and rarely let others help me. But with you… It's like you see through me and into my soul or something. You get me in a way no one, not even my family, get me. I don't feel the need to always be strong, and I surprise myself every time I let myself be vulnerable with you, but you never take advantage of that. All I ever feel is love and compassion. I'm not used to people caring this much about me… This is all really new and I'm scared."

Brittany just nodded, impressed by Santana's speech. It was the most open dialogue they had had about feelings since this who relationship started two months prior and the blonde was surprised that Santana felt all of those things and could voice them. Britt had always been pretty good at reading people, and went it came to reading the Latina and what she was feeling, Britt could have been a professional. But it took at lot to say those things, Brittany knew, and she wasn't taking it for granted. She looked into scared charcoal eyes and could see tears pooling at the edges in the moonlight. As one tear escaped down Santana's cheek, Brittany quickly brushed it away with her thumb and pressed her lips lovingly against the brunette's. She poured all of her love for the girl into that kiss and hoped that the Latina understood that she was loved and that everything would be okay as long as they had each other.


	5. Chapter 5

**Damn, three updates in a week? I'm guna run out of material in a few weeks at this rate =) thanks for reading, don't forget to show some love or make suggestions!**

**Xox B**

Chpt 5

"What? Why are you staring at me like that?" Santana asked with a finely manicured eyebrow raised. "You're starting to freak me out, B."

Brittany laughed at the face Santana made. "Sorry, just thinking."

"Oh? What about? You had a hint of a smile on your face so do tell."

"Just about the night we sat here and I basically made you admit your love for me."

"Oh yeah… that was a good night." The Latina momentarily let herself indulge in the memory, herself.

Brittany smiled again, knowing the brunette was remembering what she just had.

"Yeah, it was. You know, that was the first night I thought I'd met my soul mate."

It was Santana's turn to chuckle this time. "You were always a sucker for stuff like that, B, but I felt like that too."

The girls just looked at each other trying to understand what all went wrong. Their silence was interrupted by Brittany's phone vibrating. It was a text from Ashley asking if she wanted to go get drinks later with Quinn, Rachel, Puck and Sam.

Brittany looked back up into dark eyes. "Well, looks like I have drink plans with the old group in a few hours and I really need to shower and change before. Would you be able to drive me home? I mean, I know it's not all that far but I never felt too safe walking alone along these streets and it has been a while since I've been here and.."

"Yes, Britt, I can drive you home, not a problem." Santana cut off the blonde's rambling.

"It's right here, thanks again, San, I owe you one." Brittany said climbing out of the passenger seat and grabbing her bag and phone. She was about to close the door but turned back suddenly, "Hey why don't you come with us tonight and I'll buy you the first round as a pay back. That is, if you want to, that's up to you."

"I'd love to," the Latina said, returning the smile Brittany was sporting.

"Great! Well I think we're going to go to Tracks around 9 so I'll just see you there. See you later, San!"

"Bye, Britt-Britt," Santana said quietly to the empty space next to her as she watched the taller woman bound into the house with the grace only a dancer can manage. She smiled at the image in front of her but quickly realized what she just agreed to. _Shit, fuck, God dammit, what were you thinking? You know how things get when alcohol is involved, things will get heated and sexual and… but oh god what I'd give to feel that toned body grinding against mine just once more… stop it! You are engaged, and she clearly has moved on. It's just the memories that she triggers that are making you like this… Yeah, that's all it is. _She mentally fought herself for a few moments before pulling away from the curb and back into KC traffic. Now to find an outfit for tonight.

"Wait you did what? B, why would you invite her to join us tonight? Didn't you get enough of her earlier today?" Ashley asked as she was styling her hair in the mirror while Brittany was toweling off in the room behind her. She was at a loss as to why her blonde friend was letting this woman back into her life. She witnessed the girl go through the biggest heart break ever because of this woman and couldn't understand why they were even talking.

Brittany pulled on a lacy thong and matching bra and wrapped her hair in the towel while she looked through the dresses she had brought with her. "I don't know, Ash, it just kind of happened ok? I felt bad that she was driving me everywhere and besides, it's probably the last time I'll see her since she works all week and I leave on Friday anyway. It's one night, Ash. She knows everyone going, knew them even before I did, and I have you so I'm not worried. I'm not the same girl I was the last time I was here, and she'll soon learn that." She stepped into a light blue form-fitting, strappy dress with an open back and low neck line.

"Well, if you're trying to give her a heart attack and realize how completely idiotic she is for giving you up, you certainly picked the right dress there, hun," Ashley commented as Brittany made her way into the bathroom to fix her hair and apply a little make up.

"Oh, Ash, all of my dresses make me look like a goddess, you know that" Brittany joked to cover up the slight blush rising to her cheeks. She never could understand what people saw in her looks but she enjoyed the compliments all the same.

"So modest, B, definitely an attractive feature. I can see why you have them lined at the door."

"Hey, I have all I need right here," Brittany bumped her shoulder against the curly haired woman next to her as they bantered back and forth.

"Come on, hot stuff. I need a drink and you owe me a dance for putting up with your ass all this week" with that, Ashley linked her arm through Brittany's, grabbed her keys a headed off into the night.

As per usual, when Ashley and Brittany walked into the club/bar, the duo could feel numerous pairs of eyes on them. Ashley was used to getting the lime light when around her gorgeous blonde friend and was proud to be her plus one anytime they went out. The smaller girl turned to the blonde, smiled, and squeezed her arm slightly, silently conveying how excited she was for the night out. It had been too long since the friends were able to do something fun like this.

"Well, at least we know you still know how to make an entrance, Britt" Puck laughed as he leaned in to hug the slender girl. Ashley fake coughed next to Brittany. "Oh hey, Ash, yeah you don't look so bad either" Puck said, earning him a smack to the stomach and a frown that Ashley had to really try hard to keep while a smile tugged at her lips. "Come on beautiful women, we are sitting over here."

Puck led the way through some crowds of people towards a booth that everyone was sitting around. Brittany earned some cat calls and "hey baby's" on her way, to which she just smiled and kept going, clearly rejecting the attention. Just as the trio reached the table, Rachel gasped looking back towards the entrance. Everyone turned to follow her gaze and caught sight of why the diva was so surprised.

"Britt, I'm so sorry, I don't know how this could have happened. Talk about horrible luck that she'd be here the night we all decide to go out. I swear I didn't invite her."

"Rach, it's okay, I did. I owed her for driving me around so much today and it's probably the last time I'll see her while I'm here or ever." Brittany said turning back to look at the Latina.

Brittany met Santana at the bar. Santana nearly stumbled over her own feet when she saw her blonde friend.

"Oh wow, Britt… You look… you look amazing, just wow" Brittany laughed out right at the Latina's inability to form a complete sentence. It was good to know that she still had this kind of effect on the girl in front of her.

"Breath, San. You look nice as well," Brittany said through a chuckle, letting her eyes roam over the smaller girl's body and attire. Santana wore a short, strapless dress that hugged her curves in all the right places and showed off her firm legs and round ass. Her hair hung in loose curls around her face and simple black pumps topped off the look. "Red is definitely your color, hun" Brittany commented, referring to Santana's dress.

The Latina blushed profusely under the blonde's intense gaze. "Thanks, Britt, I have you to thank for that."

"Well, let me get you that drink" Britt said turning to wave down the bartender. "Same as always, yeah?"

Santana nodded, happily surprised that the blonde still remembered her drink, as she reached for her phone that was vibrating in her clutch. Her smile quickly dropped when she saw the caller ID and Brittany noticed. Santana threw her a small, apologetic smile and pressed the answer button turning slightly to muffle her conversation from her friend.

"Andy, I told you I was going out tonight and that I couldn't talk." The club was crowded but this only made the proximity between the girls closer so Brittany heard all of Santana's side of the conversation.

"I know but I miss you, baby. Who are you out with anyway, you didn't mention that part in your text."

Santana sighed, bracing herself for a confrontation she didn't want to deal with tonight. "I'm at a club with Quinn, Rachel, Puck, Brittany, Sam and Ashley."

"Wait, you're with Brittany, again? Didn't you just spend like four hours together earlier today? What the hell is going on, Santana?" Andy was getting angry and jealous and Santana couldn't blame him. She did cheat on him for three months with the blonde, but it's been over five years since she chose him and she was starting to get annoyed by his insecurities.

"Yes, I am with Britt. It's a reunion of the old group and likely the last time I'll see her while she's here since I have work all week and then she leaves, okay? Stop being an insecure asshole, Andy."

"I have EVERY right to be worried about this, Santana. You were fucking her behind my back for months! And you know how you get when you drink, and her too. This has bad written all over it, I am not even remotely okay with this!" He was getting pissed now and was practically yelling through the phone.

Santana sighed and shot Brittany another apologetic look. "I chose you, Andy. I don't love her anymore so get over yourself. I'm not dealing with this right now, it's rude to be on the phone when with others. Good bye." She hung up the phone without waiting for his answer.

Thankfully, the bartender placed her vodka cranberry in front of her at that moment and she took a healthy swig of the drink. Brittany understood how Andy got, she had dealt with a crying Santana more nights than not during those few months they were seeing each other behind his back, and asked the bartender for two tequila shots, as well, and the girls took their drinks and shots back to the group.

Three drinks and dour shots later, the girls were enjoying their time with their friends catching up over the past several years. Brittany grabbed Santana's hand and stood up when the conversation started to die down. "Come on, San, let's dance!"

The blonde moved swiftly through the mass of people, dragging the darker haired woman behind her, until she found a spot big enough for the both of them to dance comfortably. Brittany moved without effort to the music, swaying her hips in time to the bass and running her hands up and down her body. The Latina wasn't as skilled as her pale counter part but she knew how to sexy up her dance moves and the alcohol was definitely fueling her sexual allure. People were starting to notice the two women. A few guys even came up behind Brittany trying to dance with her or asking to buy her a drink but each time she politely declined with a smile and continued to dance solo. _Did she really just refuse free alcohol? Who is this girl? The Brittany I knew would have jumped at the chance to flirt with guys and get them all hot and bothered before refusing to go home with them._ Santana was confused by the change in the woman in front of her. She leaned in closer to the blonde's ear so she could hear her question.

"The Britt I knew never turned down free alcohol or the chance to lead a guy on only to reject him later on, who are you?" She joked but honestly was wanting an answer.

Britt leaned down and brushed her lips over Santana's ear teasingly, an act that sent chills down the smaller girl's spine. "Well, I'm not the girl you used to know, San. I'm all grown up."

She pulled back and smiled at the shorter woman, which was mirrored back. The girls danced for another half hour or more before returning to the table for a break. Britt started to walk towards the bar again mentioning she needed water but a hand on her wrist stopped her.

"I got it, let me take care of you, baby" Santana slurred slightly, most certainly feeling those shots.

As the Latina walked off to get them both water, Brittany wondered at why those words seemed to familiar to her. She sat down next to Ashley still pondering over those words when it hit her.


	6. Chapter 6

**AN: So this chapter's M for a reason. Thanks for reading, hope you're enjoying it. Kinda weird to write on things that happened to me, but fun, too =) Leave a comment if you wish!**

**Xox B**

Chpt 6

_Eight months into their relationship…_

"_Hey baby, what are you still doing up?" Brittany asked, surprised to be hearing from Santana this late on a Thursday when she had a 9 am lab in the morning._

"_What, not happy to hear from me?" the raspy voice joked, "Na, I'm just calling cuz I didn't get to talk to you much today and I missed hearing your voice."_

"_Ah, such the charmer. How was your day, babe?"_

_The girls talked for a half hour like they did every night before one of them went to bed. _

"_Actually babe, the main reason I was calling is cuz I need you to be awake when I get there…" the Latina trailed off, waiting for her girlfriend to catch on to what she meant._

_The blonde went silent, clearly baffled by what she just heard. "What do you mean? When you get here? Wait are you… You're coming here? Really?"_

"_Yes, babe, I am coming there. I'm actually in Hays right now so I'll be there around 2 am."_

"_Oh my god! Wait that's like, four hours from how! But how? What about school?" Brittany was so excited but nervous too, she cared about her girlfriend's education._

"_I got my homework done early and got any reading assignments already so I can do them while I'm there. I was going to surprise you since I couldn't be there when you had surgery, but I knew I needed you to be awake to let me in and honestly, I am really too excited to see you, baby."_

_Brittany squealed and would have jumped up and down if her knee weren't in a brace keeping her on the couch._

_Five hours later, Brittany hobbled into her room after having brushed her teeth and washed her face. Santana watched from the bed as the lanky blonde pulled off her shirt leaving her clad in only soccer shorts and a sports bra. The Latina sighed. She never got tired of admiring Brittany's body. Even six months without being able to play and the girl was still as in shape as ever. Santana scooted over towards the wall so the blonde could pull herself into bed as fluidly as you can with a full leg brace that wouldn't let her knee bend. She rolled onto her side to face her girlfriend and reached out to run the pads of her fingers over the Latina's face, memorizing every line and contour of the smooth skin. She smiled when the smaller girl closed her eyes and leaned into the touch._

"_I am so glad you're here. It's been too long since I've been able to touch you," Brittany whispered, causing the girl's eyes to flutter open._

_Santana smiled back and leaned forward, and whispered "I love you" against the blonde's lips before making contact. They both moaned into the kiss and it quickly got heated when Brittany swiped her tongue along Santana's bottom lip, asking for entrance. It was granted immediately and the blonde tried to roll over the Latina to straddle her, only to be stopped by a sharp pain shooting through her leg and hip. The brunette heard the gasp of pain and realized that they movement jostled the injured leg. She pushed herself up on an elbow and pressed her finger to the pale girl's lips when she went to object._

"_Shhh, I got you, baby, let me take care of you," Santana whispered, leaning in again to kiss the taller girl. Brittany tried to refuse, preferring to be on top, but soon gave in as a tongue found its way into her mouth. The Latina sucked on Brittany's tongue and bit her bottom lip, eliciting a deep moan from the girl below her. She moved her oral assault along the pale jaw and neck, pausing only to leave love bites in her wake. Brittany's hands roamed over a muscular back, leaving red scratch marks that made the brunette growl lowly into her neck, before reaching her firm ass and pulling the girl flush against her. Her hands then slipped under the hem of Santana's t-shirt and caressed the sensitive skin of her lower abdomen. The darker girl gasped into her ear at the skin on skin contact and bit down on Brittany's pulse point when the blonde pushed her thumb into the area just above her hipbone. It was probably Santana's most sensitive hot spot and absolutely drove the girl wild. As one hand continued to teasingly put pressure above her hip, the other snaked its way up the taunt abs, slowly making its way to the Latina's breasts. Sensing where the blonde was headed, Santana leaned back, pulling Brittany with her until the blonde was sitting up. The Latina then grabbed the bottom of her shirt and pulled it over her head, revealing full perky breasts that were perfectly at eye level with the girl beneath her. She smirked as she watched Brittany tug her lower lip between her teeth and gaze at her chest. Blue eyes flicked up to meet brown, waiting to be allowed permission to touch. Santana nodded slightly and Brittany wasted no time. She leaned forward and placed wet kissed all around the right breast as her other hand softly started kneading the right. The brunette threw her head back and worked hard to contain a moan, so as not to wake up Brittany's apartment-mates. Britt flicked her tongue over a hard nipple before pulling it into her mouth and sucking gently, biting it every once in a while. She soon switched to give the other one the same attention. Santana couldn't handle it anymore, she pulled the sports bra over the blonde's head and sat back just to admire. "You are so beautiful she whispered. Brittany couldn't think straight, it had been too long since she'd been touched by someone other than herself and she needed a major release, and this was just going far too slow for her liking. She pulled the Latina back down onto the bed and attacked her lips. She pressed her core up onto Santana's thigh, craving friction that she couldn't seem to get. Brittany broke the kiss and kissed her way up to the Latina's ear, sucking on the lobe. "Please, San, I need you. I need you to touch me, I need to touch you. Oh fuck, just please," she rasped, panting into the other girl's ear. Santana moaned again, realizing how much Brittany wanted her. She rested her weight on one elbow and slipped her free hand into the soccer shorts beneath her. Not being one to give in right away, she lightly ran her finger tip along the blonde's slit, feeling how very wet her girlfriend was. She moaned at the stickiness as Brittany gasped when she felt the finger graze past her clit. She pushed her hips forward hoping to find more contact and pulled Santana's hips as close to her as she could. Not one to be out done, Brittany pushed her hand into the Latina's shorts and quickly found the smaller girl was just as aroused as she was. She didn't waste any time and pushed two fingers into the girl above her. Santana had to bite down on Brittany's shoulder to keep from crying out in pleasure at the unexpected penetration. She followed Brittany's lead and sunk two fingers into the hot sex beneath her. The girls found a quick rhythm of penetration and teasing of the clit and were both near the edge within minutes. Brittany knew Santana was close but that it would take something more to put her over, so she held onto her orgasm, wanting to come with her girlfriend. After a few more thrusts, Brittany pinched the Latina's clit gently but it was enough to make the girl moan her name loudly and come apart above her. The blonde followed within seconds and both girls lay panting still inside each other as they rode out their orgasms. When they were coherent enough to do more than concentrate on their breathing, Santana rolled off of the blonde, careful not to hit her injured knee._

"_You know, you're the only one who has ever been able to please me," Santana commented breathily, as Brittany wrapped her arm around the smaller girl. She just smiled and nodded into the Latina's back as they both drifted off to sleep._

"Hello, Britt? I said, where did Santana go? She's been following you like a puppy all night long," Ashley said, waving her hand in front of her friend's face, "Actually it's kind of funny considering you used to follow her like that but now it's like the roles are reversed." The curly haired girl giggled at this revelation, clearly drunk.

"Yeah, weird huh? She went to go get water for us both but I think I'm guna go get air so tell her that for me when she comes back if she asks," Britt said with a half smile as she got up and made her way to the door leading out to the smoking area. She didn't smoke but the club was starting to feel pretty hot after that memory and the crisp air of the Missouri night was greatly needed. She got a few lingering looks from men and women, alike, until she found a corner that was pretty deserted and leaned against the cool wall. A few minutes later her phone vibrated in her purse. She smiled and flipped it open.

"Hey beautiful woman."

"Hey baby, how are you?" It was Trish, Brittany's girlfriend of almost two years. They hadn't talked much since she had landed in KC, Trish said she understood the need to catch up with old friends and she didn't want to bother her during her minimal time she was out there.

Brittany honestly loved this woman with everything she had. "I am amazing now that I'm talking to you, how are classes going? Having fun with the little ones?" Both women helped teach a class when they had time at a local dance studio and had a blast watching kids 6-12 get so much better every class.

"Oh it's awesome, Kaitlynn finally got the choreography down and I started showing them some freezes. They ask about you every day and are so excited to show you how much they've learned when you get back. I'm excited too, I must admit."

"How sweet! I bet they are doing amazingly well, you are an awesome teacher and even better dancer. You're so great with kids. I miss you so much. It's fun to see all of these guys again but I still miss you. I wish you could have met them."

"Aww I know, babe, next time I'll come with you. It's been a long time since you've seen them all, though, so I think it's best that you're there alone this time. How are things seeing the ex, by the way? I know it can't be easy reliving everything again." Trish knew about Santana and how she led Brittany on for the better part of 16 months and then dropped her like she was nothing more than some used trash. She also knew that almost everything about Kansas City reminded her blonde of the Latina and even the girl she had dated when she had to live with her ex a month after Santana broke her heart. It was the only reason why she wished she'd gone with Brittany, to hopefully shield her from those painful memories.

"Um… it's been ok, I don't know. It's weird, she acts like nothing ever changed between us and honestly, not too much has changed with her. She's still scared and still clearly battling her sexuality. I think the only reason she's marrying Andy is because it's what is expected of her and what is socially acceptable to her parents. Honestly, Trish, I feel bad for her. I mean she's clearly hurting but is willing to hurt herself to please others." Brittany said with a sad sigh. She still cared for the Latina. She was her first love, and the blonde would always love the woman in some way.

Trish completely understood, she still loved her ex's to an extent, that love was more one of family now, but she still cared about them, and she knew the blonde had a big heart and couldn't hate anyone for long. "I know, baby, but that's her choice. She's a big girl and has to do what she feels is right for her, even if it is a lie. I don't know her but I hope she finds happiness someday."

"You're amazing, Trish, you know that? God you are such an amazing woman, I don't know what I did to deserve you but I am so glad I did," Brittany gushed, unaware that a certain Latina walked up behind her at that moment.

"I'm the one who got lucky, Britt. I'm just glad you made a wrong turn at rehearsals that first day and ran into me. It was the best bloody lip I've ever had," the biracial woman laughed on the other end of the line.

Brittany had to laugh at the memory of literally turning a corner and running smack into the teal-eyed African-American woman. Her cheek connected with the girl's mouth and split her lip. As Trish named it, "fate had laid a hand" on their meeting, and they had been together ever since.

"I love you, babe, but I'm guna head back into the club. I'm sure everyone's wondering where I disappeared to."

"Alright, baby girl, I'm headed to bed anyway. I love you, too. Have a great time. I'll call after classes tomorrow" Trish said through a yawn.

Britt smiled, her girlfriend was so damn cute. "Sleep well, hun, sweet dreams. I love you." With that she flipped her phone closed and turned around to head back inside, almost running into Santana.

The blonde jumped, surprised. "Geezes, San. You scared the shit out of me. How long have you been standing there?"

Santana pushed off of the wall she'd been leaning on and crossed her arms over her chest. She was pissed, and she didn't even know why. "A while. Who was that?"

Brittany shifted her weight under the intense gaze, "Trish, my girlfriend. I don't know why you're mad, I told Ashley to tell you where I was," the blonde said, clearly misunderstanding the Latina's anger.

"I don't care about you leaving, Brittany. I can't believe you didn't tell me you had a girlfriend," Santana was flustered. She didn't understand her anger at finding out that Brittany wasn't single, but she was and the alcohol was aiding in her speaking her mind (or emotions).

Now Brittany was getting defensive; the Latina had no reason or right to be mad about her girlfriend. "Well excuse me, _Santana_, but I didn't realize I needed your permission to date someone. Trisha is an amazing woman and I have been seeing her for almost two years. I love her with everything I have and last I checked, you get no say in who my heart belongs with. You lost that right when you were too much of a coward to proudly be my girlfriend. I found someone who is proud of me, of what we have, and most importantly, she is proud of herself and who she is. Which is a quality that you clearly don't posses still. So yes, I'm sorry I didn't mention her earlier, but your anger is very much misplaced and uncalled for, so figure your shit out, Santana." Brittany was fuming when she brushed past the brunette and forced herself back into the club.

Santana's jaw hung open slightly. Brittany had never gotten angry with her like that before. She had never stood up for herself like that and been so outwardly pissed off. It shocked the Latina more than anything, but mostly because everything she had said was true. _What the fuck is wrong with me?_

"Ash, we need to go," Brittany said quietly to her former roommate when she came back into the club.

"Why? What happened? Are you okay?" Ashley was visibly worried at the anger etched on her friend's face.

"I'll explain later, come on, I'm driving." Brittany grabbed Ashley's keys, said her quick good bye's to everyone, and pulled her roommate out into the parking lot.

Once they were home, Brittany grabbed a bottle of water for Ashley and slumped onto the couch next to the other girl. She was drained; physically, mentally, and emotionally.

"Do you wanna talk about it?" Ash asked sipping on her water.

The collapsed form of the blonde shook its head. Ashley sighed, she figured Britt wouldn't want to talk til morning. She grabbed her friend's hand and led her up stairs into the bathroom to wash her face and get ready for bed. Brittany fell onto the bed and let Ashley wrap her arms protectively around her waist before sleep consumed her exhausted mind and body.


	7. Chapter 7

**AN: So this is kinda the in between, expect to see how things ended next chpt. I either love to write or love ya'll (prolly the first since I haven't gotten much interest), but heres another update! You all should def review, though please! My friends aren't enough!**

**Xox B**

Chpt 7

Against Ashley's advice and the urging of her other friends, Brittany agreed, reluctantly, to meet up with Santana during her lunch break the following Tuesday. Santana was working as a nurse practitioner at the local hospital while finishing her last year or two in med school. She'd taken a semester off when she was trying to figure out things with her and Andy a few years ago. If she was honest, the break was as much for her relationship wit her fiancé as it was for her to figure out her feelings for her blonde ex. She slipped off her stethascope and placed it on the table in front of her as she waited for her pale counter part. She was nervous, it had taken a good half hour to convince Brittany to meet up with her, and she couldn't blame her. Santana's response was completely uncalled for and shocking even to her self. The Latina was so wrapped up in her self hate that she hardly noticed the blonde's presence until the woman sat in front of her. Any conversation was cut off by the waitress asking for their drink orders. When she'd turned to fill the order, Santana cleared her throat, trying to find anything to say.

"Why did you insist on seeing me, Santana?" Brittany asked, just above a whisper, looking up from her hands.

Santana sighed, the blonde was never one to beat around the bush. "I just- how I reacted to your relationship, it was fucked up and uncalled for. And I just didn't want your visit to end like that, with you mad at me, possibly as the last time we'll ever see each other." Santana knew the real life possibility that this was the last time she would ever see her ex, and she wasn't really ready to fuck that up for eternity.

"Yeah well, my relationship shouldn't have pissed you off like it did. I still don't get why you were so angry…" Brittany was looking to pull information out of the Latina that she already knew, but wanted the other woman to finally grasp and accept.

Santana shifted uncomfortably in her seat, she knew this was coming but wasn't ready to have to say it out loud, when before she'd barely even admitted it in her own head. "I, um, guess I was just jealous… I mean, when you were in Colorado I didn't have to realize that someone else was making you happy, but hearing it that night and seeing how honestly happy and in love you are… It just hurt I guess, I don't think I ever really got over you…" Her eyes cast down to her hands in her lap, waiting for the response from Brittany.

The slender girl sighed audibly but was still confused. "Santana, you never batted an eye when I brought Tatiana over, and she stayed the night most of that summer after you ended it. And don't say you didn't know we were together, I know you heard us almost every night, those walls are not that thick, and you often caught us getting out of the shower. Never seemed to get mad about that, besides us using more water."

"Well, yeah I guess. But I was still mad at that time. I was pissed at myself for being such a coward, for running back to what is comfortable, and for being confronted daily with the fact that you were moving on. I was angry but I had to hide it from you, I couldn't let you know that her hanging around all the time was bothering me. I mean, I had no reason to be mad, like you said, I was the one who ended it."

Brittany just shook her head and looked around the small restraunt. They had already ordered and the food was just being brought out. She looked at her pasta but mostly just pushed the food around. Santana noticed.

"What are you thinking about, B?"

The blonde just shook her head again and shoveled a fork full of pasta in her mouth, refusing to tell Santana what was troubling her.

"Come on, Britt, I know you. What's eating at you?" The Latina asked with an eyebrow raised curiously.

"Just was thinking. I tried to fend off what was inevitable. I even asked you over facebook when Andy was in town for his birthday that winter to not hurt me, to just end it before I was too invested in the relationship. To warn me if you felt like you'd never be okay enough to tell people about us. But you reassured me that you would be okay eventually, that it was only a matter of time before you'd thrown caution into the wind. You lied to me, you never thought that day would come did you?"

"What are you talking about?" Santana knew exactly what message she meant but didn't understand where this was coming from, and she was starting to feel guilty.

Brittany pulled out her phone and opened the facebook app, pulling up the past messages shared between the ex's that facebook so lovingly saved for so damn long, and turned it to face the Latina so she could read it.

"_i think the hardest thing im trying so so so damn hard to swallow is the fear of u being like, sorry britt i was mistaken and im staying with andy and what we had was just experimenting. i kno that all is so possible still but for how much i put into relationships, and u know how i put my heart on the table, itd hurt like a bitch if it did happen. this isnt meant to make u feel like u have to act one way or another but rite now im holding my breath waiting for the text or call that says its over. dont let me suffocate myself if u know its not guna come. i love you santana, i really do. and i think what we have, the close friendship and more, is truly something special. there def is something here, but i guess im having a hard time knowing im 2nd rate. member when u said u like knowing wat im up to but to leave out the making out parts? well, thurs night at the bar is awesome to know, the hotel part and knowing very well wat most likely will b happening and knowing it wont b with me is like the same thing, it hurts. so leave that part out, tho im secretely hoping u guys dont have sex cuz a) if/when u break it off that'l hurt more and b) i hate thinking of someone else touching u like that."_

"You lied to me, Santana. I even gave you a fucking out five months before you left me, why didn't you just take the damn out? Why did you have to hurt me like that? After everything you watched me go through when Kassidy left me, why?" Brittany asked, her eyes searching frantically for answers.

Santana shrunk away from the questioning gaze. She didn't want to have to answer Brittany, to face how selfish she really was. But she owed it to the blonde to be honest, for once, and so she took a deep breath to gather courage and brought her eyes back up to blue ones.

"Because I was selfish, Britt." Santana was mumbling, but her voice gathered volume as she continued. "I loved you, so so much. And I wanted everything you did, to be able to walk down the street hand in hand and share the occasional kiss. I wanted to introduce you to my family as more than just the best friend they knew you ask. But I knew that I would be shunned from the family, especially my dad's side, if they knew I loved a girl. They are so caught up in religion they would drop me in a heartbeat. But more than that, I was scared of the looks we'd get. You don't care about what others think of you, and I honestly envy you for that. But I'm not as strong as you are, B. I am weak and selfish. So I held on to you, hoping that your strength would rub on to me, and that some day I would be able to proudly hold your hand and look anyone who gave us a hard time in the eye. But every time you asked, I was still a coward and kept claiming to need more time, just putting off the fact that I was never going to be strong enough for you. I was never good enough for you, Brittany, you deserved so much more. And it seems like you found someone who will treat you like I always wished I could have."

Brittany sat silently absorbing everything the darker woman had just said. She looked into Santana's eyes and saw the raw honesty swirling in them, a rare sight. She just nodded and picked up another bite of her, now cold, pasta.

"Well, San. You could have had all of that. All that I have with Trisha, it could have been you. But I think that this is fate's way of telling us that, though we will never be what we were, that we are a big part of the reason we are the way we are today. At least, I know that you are a big part of why I am who I am today," Brittany said shyly, looking at her pasta as she absently swirled noodles around her fork.

Santana nodded, realizing that Brittany wasn't mad anymore, and wasn't even sad. She was just accepting the reality of the situation. "I think you're right, Britt."


	8. Chapter 8

**AN: So new chapter, yay! (does victory dance) this one, even though is some of a flashback, basically wrote itself in my head while at work tonight so I hope it's good. Let me know what ya'll think! P.s. I know the direction and where this story will end, it's just getting from here to there that I'm still working on. ;)**

**Xox B**

Chpt 8

_Brittany was pacing back and forth. She hated waiting, hated how crappy she felt and how much she was dreading to get this over with but at the same time needing it to be done as quickly as possible. For the last 16 months, she had bottled up most of her feelings about the relationship and held on to the hope that Santana's word was true, she would eventually be ready to be open with being a couple. But that led to countless nights of crying, only to fall into a fitful sleep on a wet pillow and Brittany wasn't sure how much longer her heart, or her body (she was losing sleep and weight over this), could handle the not knowing. It had been a particularly bad week for the two. It was finals time and Santana was also extra stressed about her MCAT test that she was having to take, along with trying to keep her 4.0 in both Biochemistry and Psychology. To say she was distant and in a bad mood was an understatement. And when she wasn't studying her ass off, the Latina was out at clubs and bars with friends until the early hours of the morning. Brittany hated being jealous. It wasn't an emotion that fit her personality in the least. But every time Santana forgot to text her or call her to say good night, she panicked and would lay in a half-sleep state until one of her many texts were returned, even if that was close to 4am her time. They'd talk the next day about how her night was and Santana always had stories to tell the blonde about guys who hit on her and tried to get her number. Sometimes Brittany wondered if Santana even realized how uncomfortable that made her feel. Either way, Brittany needed to get this over with. She had dealt with being Santana's dirty little secret for too long and she couldn't handle it anymore. Even if that meant losing her, Britt had to put herself first for once._

"_I Just Need You Now" by Lady Antebellum rang through the room and broke the blonde out of her thoughts and incessant pacing. She stared at the phone vibrating on her desk for a moment before hesitantly answering; this was a conversation she wasn't going to like._

"_Hey San."_

"_What's up, B? Sounded like you were freaking out in the message you left, everything ok?" Santana was concerned, she knew she'd been distant from Brittany for the last few weeks and kept blaming it on finals and the MCAT but knew that wasn't the full reason._

_Britt chuckled nervously, "yeah sorry 'bout that… I've just been driving myself crazy thinking and really needed to talk to you, but you've been busy so if you can't talk I understand." _

"_No I'm good, hun, just climbing into bed with Moxie. What have you been thinking about?" She was pretty sure where this was going but really hoped it wouldn't be what she thought it was._

"_Well, it's about us… and, um, I guess what we are, to, like, everyone…" Damn, it's what Santana was dreading. She'd hoped the blonde would forget or something and would just let their little fairy tale of a relationship continue as it is for a while._

"_Okay… What about?"_

_Brittany sighed and sat on her bed, pulling up her laptop. "Hang on, I have to read this to you cuz I know I won't be able to word this right to make sense if I just try to say it, so I typed it out before and want you to just listen. Then you can talk, ok?"_

"_Okay, B, let's hear it," now Santana was as nervous as Brittany. The blonde was always one to speak her mind, so the fact that she had to write it out first meant this was going to be serious and likely was painful for her._

"_Okay, here it goes: Santana, you know I love you, more than I can ever show you and much more than I ever thought possible. And you know that I would do anything for you. But I'm not sure if that is a mutual thing. I know you love me, I can see it in your eyes even across Skype. That's not the problem. The problem is, it has been over a year, and still I am your secret lover. When we started out, I understood the need to hide what we were doing and feeling since you were still committed. But it has been 8 months since you broke up with Andy and still I am just your best friend when I am with you. Sure when you come here we can be a couple and hold hands and go to clubs and actually dance within ten feet of each other, but as soon as I go there it is back to being the great best friend knows me to be. I can only ever show you my love behind closed doors, and that makes this, us, seem like a bad and dirty thing. But we aren't, San; what we are is beautiful and I honestly think it only happens on rare occasions anymore. I know you're scared. Trust me, I know better than most what it is like to come out and admit to being in a same-sex relationship. You might lose a few friends, could even risk losing the support of some of your family. But your mom and Sierra already know, and your dad has handled your mom's relationship with Kelly, so I don't think you would be disowned like you think. It is scary to be in love, to have to realize that everything you are and do or don't do effects the other person. That you no longer have complete control over your own life cuz so much of it revolves around the other person. But I've already taken that leap of faith, Santana. I'm falling with nothing but the ground coming at me, and I'm hoping you're there to catch me. But at this point, I'm not sure if you are. So I need to be true to myself. I spent 4 years of my life in the closet, denying who I am, and I won't do it again. I have tried to wait for you and give you a chance to adjust but at this point I don't know if you ever will and I have to do what is best for me. So I only have one question for you, Santana. Are you willing to risk losing some loved ones possibly, and be in a public real relationship with me, or is love and what we have not enough?"_

_Brittany was crying by the end of her speech. It took her an hour to write that but she was proud with the end result. She laid everything out on the table and was bare and vulnerable to Santana. Brittany hated giving ultimatums but there was little else she felt she could do. Now the ball was in the Latina's court and it was her move. Both ends of the line were silent, besides Brittany's quiet sobs and occasional sniffles._

_Santana was stunned. She felt like a complete bitch. She always knew she was hurting Brittany by hiding her and acting like their relationship was something to be ashamed of. But she didn't realize that the blonde was so completely broken over it. She'd been so wrapped up in her own insecurities that she didn't even realize what she was doing, or not doing, was killing the woman she loved. All Santana could do was sit in silence and mull over the ultimatum that was just thrown at her._

"_Please say something," Brittany was growing more and more panicked at the pregnant silence she was receiving._

"_I, um… I don't really know what to say Britt." Santana felt herself grow nauscious as the words came out of her mouth. She knew she was about to break what ever was left of the blonde's heart into a million pieces. "I'm just not ready to tell anyone. I can't do it, I'm not strong enough."_

"_Bullshit!" Brittany's despair turned into rage; she was tired of this pussy ass coward shit. "Don't fucking tell me you aren't ready. I know how much you love me and honestly, you'd think that'd be enough. But you care so damn much about what everyone else in the world thinks that you let them make your decisions for you. It's pathetic, Santana, utterly pathetic."_

_Santana was shocked at the anger coming across in Brittany's voice. There were few times she heard her mad, and never had she experienced the blonde get this worked up._

"_Britt, please try to understand. I can't lose my family, they mean so much to me. You know that."_

"_You know, I considered you part of my family. My parents and Luke did, too. Guess that doesn't go both ways. And besides, the only one in your immediate family who doesn't already know is your dad, and he suspects something. Even Andy knows. No one's left you yet. You're just full of hot air and bullshit excuses, Santana. And I am tired of being second rate to anyone or anything. Real love isn't like that and I deserve better." The blonde had calmed down somewhat but was still clearly seething._

_The Latina knew everything Brittany said was true and could do nothing but agree with her. She was a pathetic excuse for a girlfriend, and Brittany really did deserve the best. Certainly better than what she was providing. Santana sighed and pulled her knees up to her chest._

"_You're right, Brittany, you deserve better and I can't give that to you.."_

_Brittany cut her off, "No, it's not that you can't, it's that you won't. You know what, fuck you, Santana. I put so goddamn much into making this work and was so understanding for so long. I'm done, I can't do this anymore and I won't so just go back to your fucking jar-head of an ex and make Daddy happy. Least then you won't draw too much attention to yourself, we wouldn't want that now would we?" Brittany bit back sarcastically before throwing her phone at the wall behind her bed._

_Sitting stunned, Santana listened to the dial tone coming across the line. She couldn't believe everything just ended. It was only a matter of time before Brittany realized how horrible the whole thing was for her, but Santana was hoping and praying that something would happen so that this wasn't the out come. She flipped off her light switch, plugged her phone into its charger, and lay down. Curling around the Tigger stuffed animal Brittany had gave her, she breathed in deeply. It still smelled like the blonde, like her shampoo and body wash. As she realized she was likely to never smell her again, Santana tried to commit Brittany's smell to memory. It wasn't until Moxie crawled up next to her head that she finally fell into a dreamless sleep._

_Brittany was so wrapped up in her own thoughts that she didn't even hear the knock on her door. BT (Britney Tellex) slowly cracked the door to her roommate's room and peeked her head inside. She saw the girl slumped against the wall, knees pulled up and arms warped around her legs, hair falling in a hectic mass of knots and blocking her face. Never had BT seen BP (as she called her) look so small. The girl towered over her 5'3" frame and was usually and constant ball of light and energy. The girl in front of her was heart broken and every bit of light seemed to have been drained from her body. She was a shell of the Brittany everyone knew and loved. Without saying a word, Britney sat down and pulled the blonde into her lap, running her hand over her head and back in a soothing manner. She knew this was coming, had seen it the first time she met Santana when she made the surprise drive over, but had hoped for Brittany's sake that her gut was wrong. With a final hiccup, the blonde exhausted herself into sleep on the shorter girl's shoulder._

"Said I wouldn't call, But I just need you now…" Brittany's alarm startled her awake from her horrendous flashback of a dream. She groaned, it was fitting in a sick and twisted way that she was woken up by the one song that reminded her of Santana and their break up the most. The first time the blonde heard that song was less than a week after their break up while she was studying for finals. It was a perfect way to describe the way the dancer was feeling. And someone must have thought it funny to keep reminding her of her heartache since the song only grew with popularity over the following few weeks. Brittany rolled over and smacked her alarm, silencing the God forsaken song. She sat up and rubbed the sleep from her eyes, feeling a headache begin to pulse inside her temples. It was going to be a long day, but she had to put on a good face considering she left for home tomorrow. Slipping on sweat pants, Brittany made her way to the kitchen.

"Good morning beauty queen," Ashley said lightly, buttering some toast. She'd been up for a while, having gone on her morning run already. She would have woken the blonde up to join her but felt she deserved a day to sleep in before going back to work in a few days. When Ashley didn't receive a response, she glanced up. "Geezes, Britt, you look like hell."

It was meant to be said in a kidding manner, but Ashley was serious. The blonde has bags under her eyes like she hadn't slept all night and they whites of her eyes were rimmed with red. Brittany just shrugged and poured herself some much needed coffee.

"I had one of those dreams again last night," Brittany said, suddenly very interested in the brown liquid in her hands.

"Seriously? I thought those stopped years ago…"

"They did, this is the first in a long time… I guess seeing her made it resurface or something." Ashley could tell the dream/memory had taken its toll on her friend. She looked small and fragile all over again, a state the shorter girl hated to see her in. Ash walked over and just opened her arms; after setting down her mug, Brittany all but fell into them and let the tears fall that she'd been holding back all week.

**AN: please don't hate me, trust in the process, it will get better. Plus this is somewhat based off real life, and we all know real life isn't a fairy tale (sadly). Stay tuned, my friends!**


	9. Chapter 9

**AN: Must say I am disappointed in Ryan, the writers, and Fox. It has been three seasons and still they haven't had Britt and San kiss yet. Sure it's inferred but I mean really, they have had a thing so much longer than Kurt and Blaine. I'm losing faith, Fox. On a new note, here's another chapter! Yay! Oh and please don't hate me, this has to happen to make anything else work.**

**Xox B**

Chpt 9

"Oh my gosh, Brittany, it has been fantastic seeing you. You must come around much more often, we miss seeing you. I know you are busy, though. I still cannot believe that you are living your dream and I am stuck in a static life here in Missouri," Rachel rambled on from the front seat.

"Gee, thanks, babe." Quinn shot her wife a look and Rachel blushed trying to eat her words. Sometimes she really didn't have a filter for her over-active mouth. The couple had offered to drive Brittany to the airport to say farewell properly (Rachel insisted) and Ashley had tagged along, not trusting to leave her friend alone with the old married couple.

The curly haired woman glanced over next to her. Brittany was staring out the window, nodding slightly at whatever Rachel was saying at the moment, and sighing every so often. It had been a tiring night. Ashley spent the better part of the day sitting on the couch with a blonde head in her lap, mindlessly watching trash TV and rubbing soothing circles on Britt's back. They hadn't needed to talk, Ashley knew what the dream was about and Brittany didn't want to talk about it. So they ordered Chinese food, watched movies, and just enjoyed each other's presence. It was a relaxing day but it was apparent that Brittany hadn't slept much last night. Her hair was thrown up in a messy bun, her eyes were a dull shade of grey/blue, and she was clad in ripped jeans and an old dance hoodie. Even on a plane, Brittany always dressed to impress. She didn't need to, she had a rare natural beauty that few people have, but she did it anyway to feel good about herself. So it was clear she wasn't feeling so great about herself this morning when she came down looking like she'd just rolled out of bed. Ashley reached over and grabbed her hand, squeezing it gently. The blonde tore her eyes from the bland scenery outside and looked down at her hand covered by her tan friend. She smiled slightly, thanking the girl with her eyes.

A little over an hour later, Brittany was slumped in a window seat watching as Missouri rushed by and felt the plane lift off the ground. She loved flying. It was always something she wished she could do without the help of a plane, to just be free and fly high above any issues or bad things left on earth like a bird. She had even fantasized about flying south every winter; she loved warm weather and dancing around in the sun. But for whatever reason, even the act of being suspended tens of thousands of feet in the air didn't seem to cheer her up, so Brittany opted to just sleep the two hours back home.

"Hey, baby girl, I missed you so much!" Trisha wrapped her dark arms around Brittany's slender frame and held the girl close to her. Brittany just breathed in deeply, taking in the scent of her girlfriend she had missed so much. It felt like home. The last week had been a roller coaster of emotions for the blonde and she wanted nothing more than to curl up on their couch with Trish holding her and watch a movie.

"I missed you more than you could ever know," Brittany muffled through Trisha's shoulder.

The taller girl could tell that her girlfriend had gone through a lot in the last few days, they had talked every night and Britt was never one for keeping things to herself. Pulling away from the embrace, Trish brought her hand to Brittany's chin and made the woman look at her. She could see how sincere her words were, how much she really had missed her. Leaning down slightly, Trish pressed a soft yet firm kiss to Brittany's lips, conveying how much she loved her in the simple gesture. When they broke apart, the darker girl grabbed a pale hand in one and Brittany's bag in another, and with that they left the airport hand in hand.

It had been a long week but it was nice to be back in a normal routine again. The women spent the remaining two weeks of their break volunteering to help choreograph and teach a few classes at the local dance studio. Brittany loved teaching younger kids. It always warmed her heart to see such little bodies with so much innocent passion for what she loved. It helped her take her mind off a certain Latina who had ruffled her feathers more than Brittany wanted to admit.

Brittany could not understand where Santana got off. She had laid down her life for that girl for over a year only to have her heart ripped out of her chest and torn apart in front of her eyes. And now, five years later, said heart breaker had the balls to be jealous of her relationship with Trisha. What was that woman's problem! She could not make up her mind to save her life. As much as the brunette pissed her off, Brittany was more sad for the girl than anything. _I can't imagine living my life for so long, knowing it's a lie. I can't understand why she does this to herself. She really is pathetic, but I do hope whatever ends up happening will work out for her._

Four days later, Trish and Brittany were on the road. They were making the two-hour drive to meet up with the other dancers for the US tour and start rehearsals. As much as Brittany loved teaching, she loved being on tour even more. It was like being back in college and traveling with the soccer team, except she was doing her first passion, she was with the love of her life, and she was getting paid to do with she loved with people she had grown to call family.

When the girls pulled up to the venue, they quickly made their way to the dance manager and found out which bus would be theirs so they could throw their stuff on their bunks before practice. All of the dancers shared a bus to themselves considering there were 12 of them, while the crew had their own, the managers all had once to themselves, and Beyonce flew with a select few who could afford it. Practice took two hours, with an hour lunch break, before sound check with Beyonce herself. By the time the couple made it back to their bus, both were exhausted and ready to get out of their damp clothing. Thankfully the footwork was the same as the Europe trip so they didn't need much refreshing on the moves, but Brittany and Trish's muscles were still complaining of over use.

"God, I'm going to be sore for days. Remind me never to take a week and a half off to see friends. Not dancing really hurt," Brittany said, groaning and falling onto the plush couch.

Trish could hardly do anything more than nod and trudge her way towards the bathroom to take a shower. "I'll be out in a few, then it's all yours." Brittany couldn't help but follow the toned body move in front of her. Trish was slightly taller than Brittany was, close to 5'10" and all muscle. Blue eyes raked over a sculpted torso when slender fingers pulled at the tight wife beater that clung to damp, dark skin. The blonde's breath caught in her throat when she realized that the mulatto woman wasn't wearing a bra underneath her shirt. It was a wonder those full, perky breasts didn't fall out of her shirt when they were practicing. Brittany bit her lip as she watched sweat pants join the tank top on the floor, she wondered how she hadn't noticed her girlfriend's hard nipples showing through the thin material earlier. _Goddamn, I must be losing it. How in the world did I miss those beautiful things all day?_ Wasting no time, Brittany quickly and fluidly slipped behind the taller girl and wrapper her arms around the thin waste, holding Trish in place. She trailed light kisses along both shoulder blades, loving the chills the body under her lips was experiencing. Two years later and they still had a crazy effect on each other, and mind-blowing sex. Trish turned in the blonde's embrace and looked into deep, lust filled eyes. She smirked, knowing how turned on the shorter girl was just by looking at her nearly naked body. As blue eyes flickered between plump lips and round breasts, Trish quirked an eyebrow up.

"Like what you see, huh?" She laughed lowly with the ever-present smirk.

"Mhmm," Britt replied, licking her lips and doing what she wanted to do for the last five minutes that felt like a year. They kissed passionately with an easy that only long-time partners could have. Tongues battle for dominance and Brittany let loose a low moan at feeling Trish's tongue ring against her own tongue. It was a part of the tan woman that Brittany would forever love. Just kissing her would cause a pool of arousal form between the blonde's thighs. It was such a sexy, yet simple piercing, and it drove her crazy.

Tugging on the blonde's racer-back tank top, Trish pulled Brittany impossibly closer. "You clearly need to catch up," she commented when they broke away to pull the shirt over her head.

It was a good thing none of the other dancers were going to be staying in the bus for another few days because they certainly would be getting a show if they came in at that moment. Trish stumbled backwards as strong arms pushed her back into the tiny closet of a bathroom. The darker woman laughed at the blonde's antics.

"Baby, this shower is hardly big enough for one of us, how will we both fit?" Trish knew that size wasn't going to change Brittany's mind but she asked anyways, loving knowing how much her girlfriend was sexually attracted to her.

Britt just gave her a seductive look, pulling her lower lip between her teeth, and slipping off her thong and sports bra. "I'm sure we can make something work, hmm?"

It never ceased to amaze Trish how damn sexy Brittany was. The girl could reduce her into a stumbling mess on stage if she wasn't careful to only steal a few glances at the blonde bombshell. And that said a lot, considering Trish was a professional dancer and had been performing for celebrities and on TV since she was 16. It was no wonder guys were creaming themselves at concerts or in clubs, Brittany knew how to put her sex moves into how she danced. B was a great dancer and practically dripped sex with every move, so imagine how she was right then and there letting her thong slip slowly down her long legs and teasingly running her hands over her naked body while looking at the darker woman through her long lashes. When Brittany reached behind the woman to turn on the shower, the skin on her arm rose with goose bumps as pale skin brushed against hers and her nipples grew hard in anticipation. The blonde rose up on tiptoes slightly and kissed her lover deeply, pushing her back into the warm water. Trish let out a breath she didn't know she had been holding in the form of a breathy moan. This was going to be one steamy shower, and I don't mean from the hot water.

"I love you so much," Brittany whispered, pushing a strand of kinky hair behind her girlfriend's ear.

Trish smiled at the feather light touch of pale fingers against her cheek. "I love you, too, baby."

The girls just smiled at each other, soaking in the warmth found in each other's eyes and embrace. Trish stretched slightly and blushed when her stomach made gurgling sounds. Brittany just giggled and rubbed her girlfriend's abs.

"C'mon, sexy woman, let's get you some food." Brittany sat up and swung her legs over the side of Trish's bunk and pulled one of the taller girl's ripped cut off shirts over her head and a clean pair of shorts. Trish whistled, she loved it when her girl wore her clothes, there was little else sexier than that tone body in her old college t's and sweats that hung low around her hips. Once the darker girl was dressed, the two made their way down the block to satisfy both of their rumbling tummies.

The US tour was somewhat shorter than the over seas trip with only 12 different states and 28 shows total. But of course it was just Brittany's luck that show number 13 was in Kansas City. She had sent Ashley, Quinn and Rachel VIP tickets earlier in the tour when she learned that they were going to be traveling through the city. It was only one show but the girls were all ecstatic to finally see their friend in action. They'd been witness to Brittany's moves in a club setting, but nothing like what they were about to experience.

By this time in tour, the entire production had worked out the nervous jitters and everyone went through the set like they were born doing it. For Brittany and Trish, doing those dances was like breathing, a subconscious effort that just came naturally. At the intermission half way through the show, Brittany pulled Trish by the hand to meet her friends. The very fit and attractive woman Brittany was honored to call her girlfriend impressed all the girls. The blonde beamed with pride, she loved showing Trish off to people she knew. It was something that never got old, no matter how long they were together. After a few minutes of light chatting, the dancers had to rush back behind stage to change and get their make up touched up. When they had left, the three Missouri girls shared a look. They couldn't help but notice the light similarities between the mixed woman they had just met and the Latina woman who had broken Brittany's heart. They all laughed between each other, shaking their heads and acknowledging the fact that Brittany seemed exponentially happier with this taller woman than they had ever seen her. The rest of the show went off without a hitch.

"God, B, I knew you were good but I am still awe-struck at how amazing you were out there. And this woman here is like a goddess of dance. I'm starting to think she's too good to be real!" Quinn was floored by the performance they had witnessed that night. She looked between the two women sitting across from her and smiled brightly; the love that those two shared was evident even on stage.

Brittany blushed and squeezed Trisha's hand, "Thanks, Q. It's what we live for, what we love. It's amazing to be able to share that with someone I love so much." With that she turned to look at the mixed woman next to her, kissing her cheek quickly.

Trish just smiled, nodded her head towards Quinn in thanks, and took a long sip of her 7 & 7. The five had snuck off to a bar near the venue for celebratory drinks after the dancers had showered and changed. Brittany was ecstatic to share her beautiful girlfriend with her friends, but Trish was a little more reserved. She liked Brittany's friends, but was a little shy when it came to new people. It usually took her a few get togethers to become more comfortable and open up more, so she sat back and listened to the other four women chat on and on about one thing or another. Slipping her arm around the pale woman's waist, Trish sipped her drink and answered the questions directed to her.

"You were really great, Britt," a raspy voice wafted out next to the blonde, causing her to jump in Trisha's arms slightly. All conversation ceased when everyone saw who had spoken. Trisha recognized the Latina from pictures Brittany had from her college days. She looked nearly the same, maybe a little older but still the same drop deal gorgeous woman she was half a decade ago.

Brittany stuttered over her words, this was exactly what she had been hoping to avoid. "I, um… thanks? You saw the show?" The blonde was confused, how had Santana known that she would be dancing that night, let alone get a ticket to the sold out show.

Santana just chuckled nervously, "Yeah well I saw that the show was coming into town and figured I would come check out how great you really were. And you didn't disappoint. And this must be the girlfriend, Trisha is it?"

Trish looked up at the sound of her name, she had been trying incredibly hard to will the woman away with her mind, but it evidently didn't work. "Yeah, and you are Santana. Heard just about everything about you. I'd say it's nice to meet you but I'd be lying and I try not to do that." Her voice had a bite to it but she didn't care, this woman had broken the love of her life and then proceeded to upset her years later with jealous accusations.

Slightly taken aback by the anger behind the darker woman's voice, Santana's jaw dropped for a moment. She watched as Brittany placed her hand soothingly on the other woman's thigh and rubbed in small circles. The action noticeably calmed the taller girl but made the Latina burn with envy. She had to consciously hold her tongue from lashing out at the other woman with even more venom.

"Can I talk to you, Brittany, in private?"

Britt looked across the table at the other three girls who all wore the same don't-do-it face before searching her girlfriend's. Trisha's eyes moved back and forth quickly and the couple carried on a silent conversation. Once the darker woman felt enough had been said, she nodded.

"You've got five minutes, Lopez. If Britts comes back in tears, I can promise you there won't be a safe place you can hide." Brittany smiled at her girl's protective nature. Sometimes Trish and Santana were more similar than she liked to realize. Squeezing her hand once more, Brittany stood up and followed the Latina outside. Before disappearing out the door, Santana shot Trish a knowing smirk.


	10. Chapter 10

**AN: As I have mentioned before, you guys have to trust my process. I didn't anticipate this being so angsty but the general idea of their relationship is pretty on edge lol but anyway, if you have the patience to hang in there, I promise you won't be disappointed. At that, enjoy the next chapter.**

**Xox B**

**p.s. this is kinda a filler to get Brittany from one place to another. School breaks for **xmas** soon so expect an update within a week.**

Chpt 10

Black Adidas tapped the black tar covered ally way impatiently. Brittany just stared at the Latina as she breathed in a long drag from her cigarette. The blonde crossed her arms and huffed, checking the time.

"What do you want, Santana? Trish doesn't joke around when it comes to protecting me, it's a characteristic you both share. So you've got probably 45 seconds before she comes looking for me."

Santana turned to take in the annoyed appearance of her ex-lover and exhaled a long stream of white smoke through her pouty lips. Flicking the butt to the side, she took a few confident strides until she was right in front of Brittany. Caught off guard by the quick action, Brittany's arms fell to her sides and her jaw dropped to say something, only to be cut off. Santana used the fact that the blonde wasn't wearing high heels unlike herself) to her advantage and closed the gap between them, pressing her lips gently but firmly against Brittany's. Brittany was stunned but her body reacted like it always did, and gave into the affection. She kissed the brunette back, basking in the familiarity of the action even with so many years since their last. When hands made their way to her hips and started to pull her closer, Brittany was lifted from the fog and quickly snapped out of it. She pushed the smaller girl away and took a few steps back.

"What the- what the hell, Santana?" The blonde stammered, clearly still in shock. "You can't just go around kissing people, especially when you _know_ I have a girlfriend and you're _engaged_!"

Trish decided to make her presence known now, having just watched her girl push her ex-lover off of her. She strode forward and wrapped an arm protectively around Brittany's tense shoulder. The slender woman relaxed at the familiar touch.

Not even giving Santana the light of day, Trish looked down into blue eyes. "Come on, babe, everyone's leaving and we don't want to be too tired for the show tomorrow."

With that, the darker woman led them back inside to gather their things to go back to the busses, leaving a very flustered, angry, and confused Santana in their wake. _What the fuck is going on? God, Lopez, figure you're shit out!_

The rest of the tour went off well and both women got a lot of recognition from it by other artists looking for dancers. It was safe to say that this tour was Brittany's ticket into the dancing business.

3 years later…

Brittany found herself wandering the busy streets of New York City. She loved it there. Sure she missed the constant sun in LA and the barely-clad bikini bodies that often populated the city, but NYC wasn't that different from her hometown. It really was the city that never sleeps. There were always cars honking, people talking seemingly to themselves but really were talking on phones (the blonde never understood the idea behind Bluetooth devices), music blaring from speakers far off… Just the normal bustle of city life. And she loved it all. Blue eyes stared up at all of the lights illuminating the city during the cover of darkness. There was little need for stars in a city where stars were often spotted being flanked by security and paparazzi when they were just trying to get some milk from the store.

A smile danced across the blonde's face when her eyes fell on the bright neon sign above her favorite little bar. It was only a few blocks from her flat and was walking distance from the Dance studio she owned and ran. She pushed her way inside and was greeted by the tall owner of the pub. Brittany took her usual place at the bar near the end away from the door so she could people watch while catching up with the owner/bartender.

"Hey, Britt, it's been a few days, how have you been?" Finn asked the dancer while he got to filling her drink for her. He set the Long Island on the counter in front of her and leaned against it on his elbows.

Brittany shluffed off her jacket and laid it over her dance bag. She nodded towards the sandy brunette in thanks and took a sip of the sweet yet powerful drink. It had been a long week.

"I'm good, Finn. Just tired. I need to find someone to help out at the studio cuz I'm putting in too many hours and my body is starting to feel like a 50-year-old's."

Finn laughed and playfully swatted the blonde's arm. "Yeah, like that could ever happen. You and everyone else in the dance business knows your body is like a fine tuned machine that was carefully sculpted to dance and make anyone else who tries to call themselves a dancer look amateur."

Pink tinted the blonde's cheeks at the compliment. She and Finn had grown close over her two-year stay in New York and she really enjoyed his company. He was probably one of her closest friends at the moment. Her phone buzzed and Brittany checked to see who had sent her a message

**Diva-licious:**

**Hey, B! Tina and I are on our way out the studio, want to meet up? It's been a long week, we could both use a drink =P xo**

The blonde smiled and typed back quickly before putting her phone back in her pocket.

**Britty-B:**

**Yup, I'm at Finn's now, come join us! Xo- Me**

Ten minutes later, a short African-American woman and similarly sized Asian woman walked through the doors and immediately made their way to Brittany's side.

"Hey B! It's been too long, I need to get my white chocolate fix more often, girl!" Mercedes said, pulling the taller woman into a tight hug. Brittany laughed and hugged her and Tina in turn before sitting back on her stool next to the other two women.

"Cedes, it's been all of, what, two days _maybe_ since we went to dinner!"

"Yeah, well, whatever, it feels like longer" Mercedes playfully pushed her blonde friend and motioned to Finn who had been helping a few older guys at the other end of the bar.

"Hey, Mercedes, Tina. It's really nice to see you guys!" Finn, Mercedes, and Tina all went to school together in upstate New York through high school and had even been in the school glee club together. It was just a crazy coincidence that this is the bar Brittany stumbled into her second week in the city and an even crazier coincidence that she had met the two women at a party for some artist a few months after she moved there and were old friends with the owner.

Finn made up the two women's drinks and gave the blonde a refill. They all chatted for another hour or two before Brittany excused herself, saying she had to get to the studio at 9am tomorrow to work out some choreography for her newest client. Some woman named Naya Rivera, evidently she was an up and coming singer who had great potential and had sought out Brittany to help her choreograph her first big concert.

As always, Finn refused the money Brittany pushed towards him so she stuffed the bills in the boyish man's front pocket and watched him blush from the close proximity her hand came in to his more _sensitive_ area. It was a routine the quickly fell into after Finn learned Brittany's sexual preference. He was more like a big brother to her now, always protecting her when some of the more rowdy men tried to get handsy with her, but he still blushed every time. With a smug look on her face, she said her good byes and made her way the three blocks to her apartment complex.

When she finally made it to her floor, Brittany dropped her keys and dance bag on the entryway table and made her way through the dimly lit flat. The lights from the city out her living room window gave enough light to keep her from mindlessly bumping into anything. She smiled and looked around at her surroundings. Her flat wasn't anything special but it was just perfect for her and felt like home. She had a small kitchen with a nice sized island with bar stools in the center. Her living room was furnished with a dark leather couch, a matching love seat, a small black coffee table, and sizable flat screen mounted on the wall opposite of the couch. What the furniture lacked in color was made up for by the very brightly decorated walls. She had collected random photography over the years on tour from different cities and had them lining the rooms and hallways. There seemed to be no theme or reason to the placement but it worked, just like how the blonde was: seemingly random but it worked in the best way possible.

Brittany shuffled her way down the hall towards her room, the only one in the flat, to get ready for bed. She stripped off her dance shirt, dropping it in the hamper, and tied her hair up in a messy bun to wash her face. When she looked up to dry off her face, Brittany looked at herself in the mirror. Her exhaustion was obvious from the slightly slumped shoulders that were always held back confidently. Her eyes raked over her form that was reflected back at her. She still had an amazing body, it wasn't like she had ever stopped dancing, but her eyes were dulled like sapphire's that hadn't been tended to in years. The brilliant fire behind them seemed to have gone out sometime over the last few years, when exactly, the blonde couldn't be sure. Brittany sighed, brushed her teeth, and climbed into bed. It might have been a Friday night but that didn't mean her job stopped. Sure, owning her own studio and being her own boss meant she could make her own hours, but that just drove her to work that much harder. Brittany had always had good work ethic, and now she really just wanted to make a name for herself in the city of dreams. The blonde hummed the first few verses of one of Naya's songs she would be working on and closed her eyes, letting her mind run over movements that would flow easily with the song, as she drifted off to sleep.

A cleanly showered dancer strode quickly down the street toward her coffee shop. Yes, she was such a regular she was allowed to call it _her_ coffee shop. The bell ting-ed when she pushed open the door and she was greeted with the bright smile of her favorite barista, Emma. Brittany returned the smile and made her way to the counter.

"Hey, Emma, how are you?"

"Good morning, Brittany! I am doing just great, thank you. Can I get you the usual?" the overly cheerful woman quipped, already steaming milk.

"Do you even have to ask, anymore?" Brittany just laughed and said her hellos to the owner, Emma's fiancé, Will.

After paying and telling the cute couple to keep the change as always, Brittany grabbed her latte and slipped out into the New York foot traffic once again. She was running late, per usual, but knew she wouldn't get by if she didn't have her morning pick-me-up, and figured the singer would have to just be okay with that.

Fifteen minutes and four blocks later, Brittany breezed into her studio to be met by Mike, who was there to teach the only class they had on weekends. Mike was her second in command and actually partially owned the studio, as well. They had reconnected when she moved to New York and went into opening their own place together.

"Hey, B, Naya is upstairs. Just got here a few minutes ago, so no worries. She's a real looker, too" he added, nudging her shoulder playfully.

Brittany swatted back at him with her free hand, laughing. "God, you and trying to hook me up with people. Seriously, Mike, I'm a big girl, I can find my own dates, thank you." With a mock-angry face, Brittany brushed passed him towards the stairs before turning around suddenly. "Thank you, though, you know… for always looking out for me." With that she made her way up stairs to the awaiting client and what would be a long, but interesting day.

"Wow, two nights in a row, it must be my birthday!" Finn joked when he recognized the blonde walking in.

"Yeah, yeah, laugh all you want. I could always take my business elsewhere, ya know" Brittany joked back, taking her regular seat and a rather deep drink from the glass in front of her.

Finn noticed, "Long day huh?"

"Yeah. Met with a new client. She's an up-and-coming singer who's doing her first real big concert here in New York in a few months and wants my help in working out choreography for her and a few back up dancers. She's really pretty and has an amazing voice, but isn't the fastest at picking up footwork. You know how that is, eh?" She quipped, jabbing a finger at the man's chest.

Finny just huffed and pretended to look hurt, "Hey, not my fault I was born with two left feet. I blame my dad, he and my uncles are all built like me and all made fools of themselves at their weddings when they tried to dance."

Brittany just laughed picturing the 6'4" man in front of her trying to dance in a tux. "Well, you know, when that day comes, if ever, I will be more than happy to teach you. Your feet may be genetic but I can at least make sure you don't hurt anyone in the process." She flashed him a mega-watt smile and dodged his smack aimed at her shoulder.

Unfortunately for him, he missed and hit her drink instead, sending the sticky liquid and ice flying onto the woman who had walked up to the bar a few feet away from where Brittany was sitting. Both Finn and the blonde hadn't noticed her presence and were completely caught off guard when they saw what a mess the drink had made of the woman's shirt. It was soaked and the black bra she was wearing underneath was starting to show through the thin, white material. Her dark hair had fallen in front of her face when she looked down at her clothes but muttered Spanish was able to be heard.

"Oh my god, I am SO sorry, Miss. Here let me help you, God I'm such an idiot, let me pay for you to dry clean that," Finn was fumbling with napkins trying to help dry off the woman in front of him.

The other woman pushed his hand away and muttered an "I'm fine" before rushing off in the direction of the bathroom. Brittany looked at Finn, who was visibly flustered, gave his arm a reassuring squeeze and motioned toward the bathroom, telling him she'd make sure everything was okay. The tall, clumsy man just hung his head while cleaning up the ice and liquid still on the bar.

When Brittany walked into the women's restroom, she saw the dark-haired woman bent over awkwardly trying to dry her shirt off. Her back was facing the blonde but she could see the woman's nose and profile from the mirror, her hair still blocking most of her face.

Brittany reached out a placed a hand on the woman's shoulder. "Can I help?"

Startled, the other woman gasped and turned to utter choice words to whoever had just scared the shit out of her, but fell silent.

Brittany's jaw went slack when the woman turned around. _You have got to be shitting me._ The blonde recovered first and just smiled. "You know, we have to stop meeting like this, nothing good ever comes of it."


	11. Chapter 11

**AN: Alright, sorry for the delay. Finals are over and I have a few weeks for break so I guess it's been a long enough cliff hanger ;) kind of a filler chpt but it's needed I think. I'll try to update when I have time. Enjoy!**

**Xox B**

Chpt 11

_You have got to be fucking kidding me! What the fucking hell…_ Santana was livid. She'd had a rough last couple of days and really was in need of a stiff drink. Instead, she's ignored for several seconds by the ogre of a bartender and then gets a lovely shower of sticky liquor and ice. And now some guy trying to get lucky wants to fuck with her in the bathroom? Oh no, I think not, this bitch is about to lose some fingers if not more.

Santana swung around to look at the intruder in the eye and make them wish they were never born, when she nearly choked on her own saliva. Her fiery eyes instantly softened when they met cool blue pools searching so sincerely for a way to help clean up the mess of a woman. The Latina was stunned into silence; the other person was the first to break the tension that had quickly built in the small bathroom.

"You know, we have got to stop meeting like this. Nothing good ever comes of it," Brittany said, slightly amused. Santana just stood there, mouth slightly a gap, so the dancer took the time to survey the damage done by Finn.

The brunette was dressed in a white button down blouse that was now pretty well soaked and wrinkled by the Long Island and her black bra was showing through the flimsy material. Her black, knee-length pencil skirt was slightly a skewed from the hasty dash to the bathroom and her hair was falling around her face in messy pieces. The woman before her looked like she'd had a hell of a week, and the alcohol bath was the cherry on top. Brittany smiled slightly at Santana's obvious shock and grabbed the soiled paper towels from her limp hand to throw them away.

"Well, come on, you can't be seen around here with a see through shirt on, the guys will think it's a wet t-shirt contest or something," Britt grabbed the black blazer on the bathroom counter and tugged Santana out of the bathroom.

"Finn, I'm going to take this one to go get cleaned up, I'll see you tomorrow since you now owe me a drink," the blonde said referring to Santana and then throwing her tall friend a wink.

Brittany led the smaller woman out into the crisp New York night air and across the few blocks to her flat. Throwing her keys, bag, and the Latina's jacket on the entryway table, the dancer turned to her guest who had been silent since they met in the bathroom.

With her hand out, Brittany asked for the woman's blouse. "Come on, San, it needs to be washed before it stains. My room is right down the hall, go grab another shirt and give me that one."

Still stunned, Santana did as she was told. She pulled open a few drawers and found a dance shirt that fit well enough. She slipped it over her head and walked back towards the kitchen where Brittany was making up something.

Santana laid her wet blouse and bra on the counter and sat on one of the island bar stools. She watched the back of her ex-lover curiously, trying to figure out what she was doing. She didn't have to wait long. Brittany turned around with a shot glass in hand filled with a gold liquid, no doubt tequila, and a margarita on the rocks with salt. She placed both in front of her surprised guest.

"Figured you needed a drink after all of that and since it was my drink that made a mess of you, I owed it to you. I am sorry about that. Finn can be a bit clumsy sometimes…" The blonde trailed off slightly embarrassed for her friend and cast her gaze to her now empty hands.

Santana just smiled. It was so Brittany to take the blame for everything. "Well, this more than makes up for it" she said, raising the shot to her lips before letting the alcohol burn the back of her throat, "so thank you."

The taller woman just smiled and grabbed the dirty clothes on the counter, tossing them in the wash and setting it to 'delicate'. Santana sipped on her margarita and took the chance to look around the apartment she had found herself in. It was small but perfectly Brittany. She smiled at the colorful, yet random pictures decorating the walls. They certainly fit the pale woman standing a few feet from her. Brown eyes made their way back to the slender figure, who was fixing herself a drink.

"This is kind of creepy, like how does this keep happening to us?" the Latina asked, more hypothetically than anything, and gesturing between herself and Brittany.

Britt turned and shrugged her shoulders slightly. "I don't know, but I'm not surprised anymore. I think fate has laid a hand in a lot of this," she said quietly, using her finger to stir her drink before sucking the liquid off of the pale digit.

Santana paused, slightly distracted by the pink tongue licking at the slender finger, but coughed to cover up her staring. "I guess so… Um, thanks, you know, for washing my clothes."

Brittany blushed. Unbeknown to Santana, the woman's nipples had hardened when she saw Brittany licking her finger and they were straining against the tight material of her fitted t-shirt. Blue eyes looked around the kitchen, frantically trying to not draw attention to the two peaks poking at the Latina's chest.

"Uh, yeah, sure not a problem. Like I said, I kind of owed you." Brittany moved to the living room and sat on the couch. Santana followed suit, sitting a few feet away from the blonde.

Setting her drink on the coffee table, Brittany turned to face the darker woman, pulling her left leg up to her chest and resting her chin on her knee. "So, what's made your week such hell?"

Santana chuckled, Brittany was always so perceptive of people. She may not have pulled A's in school but the girl read people like she saw right through them and into their souls. It was certainly a gift the Latina hadn't witnessed in anyone else she'd met in her lifetime.

"Just has been a rough few weeks. I'm in the process of finding an apartment so for the time being I'm in a hotel, and it's not the easiest being new at the hospital. Everyone has such high expectations for "one of the best pediatric doctors in the Midwest" and most people hate me for coming in and taking their promotion job. It's kind of like being a freshman in college all over again, except it's the real world and there are no safety nets to catch me if I fall." Santana's gaze clouded slightly, signifying she was deep in thought.

Brittany just nodded. She understood what it was like trying to make a name for yourself somewhere new and understood that New York was like the worst kind of college. It was very much a dog-eat-dog world to live in.

Coming out of whatever trance she was in, Santana looked around the apartment again before addressing the owner. "I like your place, you been here long?"

"Um, just under two years now. But yeah, thanks. It's small but it's perfect for me and not far from work so I can walk everywhere I need to go."

The women talked for several minutes, catching up on some of the last few years of their lives since they last saw each other, trying to keep the conversation light-hearted. When the washer went off, Brittany took the clothes out to hang dry and glanced at the clock. Santana did the same and stood quickly; it was past 1 am.

"Thanks again so much for washing my stuff and for the drink but I really have to go. I've got a 9am appointment tomorrow." She reached for the damp clothes before a slender hand stopped her.

"Leave them, they won't dry if you bring them with you. You can come get them tomorrow after work. I'll bring them to Finn's when I go and you can come get them whenever."

Santana just nodded, thanked her again, grabbed her blazer, and slipped out into the night to hail a taxi back to her hotel. It had been a long few days and an exhausting night; her bed was calling her name mockingly.

Brittany sighed as she closed the door behind the Latina and leaned her forehead against the cool wood. She shook her head back and forth slightly, smiling softly at the weird turn of events, and padded softly back to the living room to clean up and get ready for bed. She had the day off tomorrow but knew she wouldn't sleep much after seeing the dark-haired woman. Crawling under the covers, Brittany sighed again and willed her mind to shut off for a few hours. Seconds later, her breathing leveled out and she dreamt of a caramel-skinned brunette who just couldn't seem to stay out of her life for long.

Brittany stretched and rolled over in her covers, squinting from the sunlight filtering in through the blinds. In her dizzying fog last night, she forgot to shut the blinds and now was groaning at her mindlessness. She glanced at her alarm clock: 9:17am. She'd only been asleep for a little over 7 hours and her body was feeling it. But she was cursed; once she was awake there was no going back to bed. So, with another grumble, long dancer legs swung over the edge of the bed and pale feet pressed into the wood flooring. She grabbed a pair of jogging stretch pants and a racer-back top. If Brittany was going to be awake, she was going to get a good run in to clear her mind of the events from last night. Securing blonde locks in a loose, messy bun, Brittany locked her apartment door and shoved her ear buds in. Cranking up her running playlist, lean muscle rippled beneath her lightly tanned skin and carried her to the nearby park for a brisk morning run.

Santana sighed and rubbed her temples. A throbbing headache was pulsing behind her eyes and it was hardly lunch. An elementary school expertly planned a field trip to the zoo that day and some of the kids had thought it was a great idea to climb on the walls surrounding the animals' cages. And everyone knows kids plus high, forbidden places plus gravity almost always ends with blood and tears. 47 sutures, six bandages, and five concerned adults later and the nine kids who had fallen left her office with suckers and smug looks on their faces when they were comparing war wounds. The Latin-mulatto doctor slipped into a plastic chair and rested her head in her hands.

"Hey Dr Lopez, tough first few days?" a red head, who's nametag said 'Dr Abbgy', asked sliding into a chair across the table from the worn out woman. "Don't worry, it gets easier. You'll find your rhythm in time."

Dr. Abbgy was another of the Pediatric doctors at the hospital. Santana had been assigned to an ER rotation with her twice a week and came to appreciate the tiny woman's presence.

Glancing up between her fingers, Santana sighed again and ran her hands over her face and through her hair. "Yeah, I know. It's just going to take time. Thanks, Kels."

The other woman just smiled and offered the Latina some of her grapes. Santana smiled back and popped a few in her mouth. They chatted for another half hour mindlessly until Santana's pager went off reminding her of her 1:30 appointment. Pulling herself up from her chair, the brunette drug her feet down the pale tiled hallways back to her office. She paused outside the door and had to smile. It never ceased to amaze her that she finally made it out of the Midwest. She pushed open the door and plastered her doctor smile on, picking up her clipboard. _God, these next four hours need to go by quickly…_

A brown bag plopped on the black bar top, startling the awkward bartender, causing him to bump his head when he jolted to stand up. "Owww," Finn mumbled, rubbing his hand over the back of his head tenderly. When his eyes fell on the bag, his face lit up.

"Oh my God, Britt! I fucking love you!" Brittany just laughed at her friend's antics. _Guys and food._

"It's just Chinese, Finn, relax your face," Brittany said through chuckles, putting the white blouse and black bra on the bar next to her purse. Finn took notice, eying the clothes curiously.

"So… what happened last night after you left with that hot brunette?" Finn asked suggestively, elbowing his blonde friend.

A light blush colored pale cheeks. "Nothing happened, I took her to my place and made her a drink while I washed her clothes since she didn't get to have a drink here," she paused to give Finn a pointed look which the man hung his head at, feeling like a dorky teenager all over again. "When she left, her clothes weren't dry yet so I told her I'd bring them here tonight and she can come by and get them when she was off work."

"Hmm, sounds like ya'll got to know each other."

"Finn, remember when I told you about the girl who I met my freshman year of college?"

"Oh yeah, the girl who broke your heart after over a year. God, such a bitch," he responded grinding his teeth slightly. The guy didn't like the thought of anyone, let alone someone Brittany had called a best friend, hurting the woman he considered as close as a little sister. She was too sweet and thoughtful to have been taken advantage of and hurt like that.

"Yeah, well…." Brittany said waiting for understanding to fall over Finn. When it didn't, she sighed. "The woman you showered with my Long Island, that was Mrs. Santana Lopez. Or Santana Olsen, whatever. My ex-girlfriend."

"Oh… Oh geez, Britt, I'm so sorry, that must have been crazy awkward! God, fate or something must hate you."

"Eh, it wasn't actually that bad. Nothing surprises me anymore when it has to do with her. Seems like we are destined to stay in each other's lives," the dancer said with a shrug and took a bite of her crab wanton.

At that exact moment, the woman who was the topic of conversation brushed through the door with the sound of outside traffic dying behind her. Tired chocolate orbs scanned the bar and found what they were looking for. Santana made her way over to a stool near the blonde and sat down heavily with a sigh. Without a word, Brittany handed her a carton of Mongolian beef and a pair of chopsticks. The Latina accepted the food gratefully with a smile; she hadn't eaten since breakfast, save for a few grapes and apple slices at lunch. Finn gave both women a smile but shot Brittany a questioning look, which she brushed off quickly. He took the hint and turned to make the women drinks.

"Long day, I take it?" Brittany said, turning to face Santana, crossing her right leg over her left. She'd showered after her jog earlier and went to lunch with Tina and Mercedes but hadn't cared to change into anything nicer than a pair of skinny jeans, a red cami, and white converse. It was her day off, anyway.

The brunette nodded, swallowing the food she had in her mouth bashfully. "Yeah, some kids on a field trip to the zoo thought it'd be fun to climb the retaining walls around the cages. Kids and gravity, never works out well."

Brittany laughed lightly, picturing herself as one of those kids who was always getting into trouble and climbing on or in things she wasn't supposed to. "Yeah, I can imagine. Had a similar experience the first time I broke my arm. Thankfully I was more graceful in the coming years or my parents would have died under the pile of medical bills, well besides the knee surgeries."

Santana smiled at the sound of the blonde's laugh. It still warmed her entire being to hear it, and made her tingle knowing she'd been the cause of such an angelic sound. "You were quite the handful as a kid, Britt, if I remember the stories correctly. But how was your day?"

"Eh, relaxing. Had the day off since the studio isn't open on Sundays so I went for a jog and caught up for lunch with some friends. It was nice."

"Oh, you work at a studio still?" Santana couldn't imagine why Brittany would move across the entire country just to do the same thing she was doing in LA last she'd seen her.

"Well, yeah. I own it. Well, most of it. Mike, the guy I met in college, and I went into a studio together but I own 80% of it. It's just around the corner from here a few blocks away. You should come by sometime." Brittany played with her fried rice, not wanting to meet brown eyes she could feel staring at her with pride. She always felt weird admitting to people how successful she was, it just wasn't in her nature.

Finn sat two glasses on the bar top in front of them, catching the last of what Brittany was saying. He beamed, "Brittany is one of the most well known and sought after choreographers in New York and her dance studio is booked solid for months out. Even heard someone say they had their kid on the waiting list but that it'd be three months before they'd get in. Not to mention all of the artists she dances for and choreographs for."

Brittany's face flushed and the tips of her ears went red with embarrassment. She slapped Finn and told him to stop talking her up like some celebrity.

"Sounds like you practically are, Britt. That's awesome, I'm impressed." Santana smiled at the blushing blonde.

Wanting to change the subject, Brittany took a sip from her glass and shifted the focus to Santana. "So, you finally made it out of the Midwest. What got you to come out here? I'm surprised you got Andy to uproot and relocate."

It was Santana's turn to blush at the mention of her husband. She played with her straw before taking a long, needed drink, focusing on the burn in her mouth before continuing. "Well, um, he didn't. When I graduated med school I was offered a position out here. It was three months after we'd married and I was completely floored to be getting everything I'd ever dreamed of. When I told him, he flipped shit and we fought. He didn't want to leave Kansas City and felt I worked too much as it was. So I turned down the offer and tried to make it work. A year and five months later, I walked in on him and some other woman when I came home from work early one night. Turns out he'd been cheating on me for the better part of a year. I divorced him a month later and made arrangements to sell the house, since it was in my name and I bought it. Kicked his sorry ass out and moved here."

Both Finn and Brittany stared at the woman in front of them feeling sorry for her. Santana on the other hand had a hard look to her features and clearly seemed to have moved on from her dick of an ex-husband. When she looked up after a few moments of silence and took in the pity looks, her eyes grew angry.

"What? Don't feel bad for me, he's the one without a penny to his name and a baby on the way with the bitch he was sleeping with. I'm actually lucky to be rid of his lazy ass. Did nothing but hold me back and now I'm in New York at a prestigious hospital and doing amazingly well." With a huff she took another drink and stabbed a piece of meat before shoving it in her mouth.

The other two shared a look and Brittany told him with her eyes to just let it go, there was no use in trying with this one, she knew the fiery determination all too well. He nodded and made himself busy with wiping down the pristine bar top and reorganizing his alcohol, giving the women some privacy. Brittany gently laid her hand on a caramel one that was flinching slightly in the Latina's lap. Empathetic cyan eyes searched slightly clouded and guarded coffee orbs. Santana sighed and gave into the warm feeling of the blonde's hand on hers and smiled slightly when Brittany squeezed lightly. They sat in silence for a few moments just looking at each other before Santana broke the tension building.

"So, um. How are you and Trish? Haven't see her around and she used to be practically attached to your hip," she cut out, sharply removing her hand from under Brittany's and looking anywhere but at the blue pools gazing at her.

Brittany cringed at the harshness of the brunette's tone and the loss of warmth under her hand. She took a moment to look at the smaller woman and figure out what she was really asking. With Santana, she'd come to learn, it was never exactly what it seemed when it came to this defensive side of her.

"We separated not long after tour," she answered in little above a whisper, pain still evident in her raw voice.

The strained sound brought Santana's attention to her friend unintentionally. She could see the pain in the usually bubbly face, the hurt behind a curtain of happiness in crystal eyes. It was her turn to grab the blonde's hand soothingly, encouraging her to explain.

"We just seemed to grow apart after that first tour. We went on different tours for different artists and struggled to keep the relationship alive when we were so far apart. A few weeks after we were both back home, we sat and talked. It sucked and hurt a lot, I really loved her, but we both agreed it wasn't enough and wasn't the same love it had been months before. Eventually we decided to split. I needed a new start so when Mike said he was going to New York to be closer to his girlfriend, Tina, I decided to tag along and bought out a building on 15th to start a studio. I needed a new start and new scenery and to feel like I was doing something completely for myself. I haven't been this happy in a long time." The pain from the memory vanished and was replaced with unwavering confidence when Brittany mentioned her struggle to do something for herself. She really was taking things into her own hands and not letting others dictate to her anymore. It was a confidence Santana hadn't seen in the blonde since she was told she'd most likely never play sports or dance again.

The women laughed and chatted some while finishing off the Chinese food. Santana stood and made a move for her blouse and bra Brittany had brought.

"Thanks so much for this, Britt. It's been a great end to a crazy week. Maybe we can get together again sometime, ya know, as friends," the brunette added shyly.

Brittany grabbed Santana's Blackberry and added her number. "There, now you can text me sometime and we'll try to catch up more often than every few years," she said with a playful smile.

"Will do, thanks again." With that, the Latina was out the door and disappearing into the night.

Finn looked from the now empty doorway to his blonde friend who had a faint hint of a smile on her face. "Okay, please tell me you aren't going to fall back into that. She's charming and attractive, I'll give you that, but really, Britt, you have got to protect yourself. She's got 'danger' written all over that sexy pouty face."

The blonde in question snapped out of her momentary daze and smacked Finn's arm. "I am not _falling_ for anything. We are hardly even friends anymore. If she wants anything from me she's going to have to earn it, starting at earning my trust as a **friend** before anything else. Besides, knowing how she was almost a decade ago, let alone just a few years ago, I doubt you have anything to be worried about."

Finn gave her a quizzical look but shrugged when she seemed sure of what she said. Brittany just sighed and threw her glance at the doorway her ex-lover had passed through not long ago. It was going to take time before she trusted the woman again, God knows her heart could not take anymore pain or breaking, but she had a feeling that the woman who had left her husband and clawed her way in New York's medical field may be up for the challenge. She shrugged again, more to herself than anything, and picked up her glass to finish the contents, slamming the empty drink on the counter and listening to the ice clank together violently. Only time would tell.


	12. Chapter 12

**AN: Merry Christmas/Happy New Years, ya'll! Hope you have had a good holiday and continue to have a good one this week (I know I will! Party in Cali for New years!). So I've been getting requests that hopefully Brittana shows up again. As I said earlier, this is guna try to be as real-life as possible. When someone rips your heart apart, you don't go running back into their arms at the bat of eye lashes. But their relationship starts to get rolling here so be happy! And let me know if you have any other suggestions! All comments are welcome and appreciated. Thanks**

**Xox**

**B**

Chpt 12

Dr. Lopez flung open her locker and sat heavily on the bench behind her, rubbing at her throbbing temples. The last few weeks had been a whirlwind of activity. With summer right around the corner, kids were outside more often (which she was more than happy with) but that meant more injuries (not so happy with) and she had gained a few new infants who had been spring babies. On top of her crazy work schedule, Santana had finally found an apartment she liked and was trying to make the establishment feel like home. She pulled off the white lab coat and hung it neatly in her locker, hanging her stethoscope next to it, and reached into the pockets of the coat to retrieve her things. With keys and phone in hand, Santana pushed her way back into the hallway and walked through the automatic doors of the hospital. She scrolled through her rather small amount of contacts, quickly coming to a name that still made her smile.

They hadn't seen each other since that night at Finn's bar over three weeks ago. A few texts were exchanged occasionally, but they had both been busy and hadn't had time to try to catch up some. Santana sighed. _Well, it's now or never I guess._

"Great job today, Gabby!" Brittany said, hugging a small girl who beamed at her praise. Blue eyes watched as Gabby ran to tell her mom all about her day in dance, a smile etched across her face.

It had certainly been a crazy few weeks. The dancer had decided to open up two new classes for the end of spring to help move the waiting list along some but that meant she was putting in a lot more hours at the studio. She loved her work, but the extra effort was taking its toll.

Mike bumped their shoulders playfully, "You look like shit, B. We need to hire someone else to help take the load off of you and me. I mean, we're great, don't get me wrong, but there's only so much we can do alone and at the rate this place is growing, we're going to need to hire five people by August, I'd bet!"

"Yeah, you're right, I know. It's just finding the time to hold interviews. Maybe this weekend I'll spread the word and set something up. You think you could talk to Tina and see if she could help us find possibles?"

"For sure, girl, I got you!"

Brittany took a long pull from her water bottle and wiped the beads of sweat at her brow line. She smiled and thanked her friend, slung her bag over her shoulder, and turned to lock up after all the parents and kids had left. A red light on her phone blinked annoyingly, letting Britt know she had missed something during the day so she unlocked her phone and was surprised at what she found. Waving goodbye to Mike, Brittany started her short walk home, smiling at her phone.

**Diva-licious:**

**B, you've fallen off the face of the earth, we need some proof of life soon or I'm calling in the dogs… Love ya, girl! Xx Cedes**

**T-T-Tina:**

**Seriously, Britt, Cedes and I are starting to worry. The only way I know you're alive and well is thanks to Mike, and I next to never see him either! This better not be a trend… let's change this soon plz! Xox T**

But most surprising:

**Santana:**

**Hey, Brittany. I know it's been a little while but I wanted to thank you formally for you're help with the spilt drink a while back… I was wondering if, maybe you'd like to go get dinner or something sometime this week. Okay, well anyway, just let me know what you think. Thanks- S**

Brittany closed the door to her flat behind her and leaned her back against the cool wood, closing her eyes and letting her bag slip to the floor with a thud. She was conflicted. The excitement that the dark-haired Latina always caused was coursing through her veins, but her heart had that dull ache still from the pain that the same woman had caused years ago. If she were honest, the dancer hadn't every fully healed from that hurt. Brittany wanted to try again with her, to try and make some sort of a friendship with Santana that the two didn't really have the luxury of having the first time around. But, like Finn, she was also slightly reserved in putting out effort to just possibly be hurt again. The light from her phone light up her face as she re-read Santana's text. _Dinner wouldn't hurt I guess… We might as well try and be friends._

Her fork froze half way to her mouth when she felt her phone vibrate against her leg. Santana set down the uneaten pasta and checked to see who had texted her.

**Brittany:**

**Um, yeah sure we can do dinner, Santana. But just know, we have a long way to go to fix this friendship. I'm pretty busy the next two days but I am done with classes early Thursday if that works for you. –B**

Santana couldn't help the smile that tugged at her mouth. She hadn't had high hopes in Brittany responding, all the communication they had thus far was very superficial, so she was elated that the blonde had accepted her offer of dinner. Wiggling in her seat to her own happy dance, she tapped out a quick response.

**Santana:**

**Great, Thursday works great! And yes, I understand completely. We can just meet there. Villagio's on 20th at 8pm, work ok? –S**

**Brittany:**

**I know the place. I'll see you then. Have a good night. –B**

Brittany stared at her phone, rereading the text she had just sent to Santana. She wasn't sure what made her agree to this dinner when everything seemed to tell her that getting involved with the Latina again was bad news, but the fact that fate or the universe or something kept making their paths cross made her wonder if there was a reason behind it. Her slender figure hunched over warmed up leftovers until she was too fed up to eat. Throwing the food away and putting the dishes in the washer, Brittany flicked on her iPod and set it in the dock before pushing the coffee table to the side so there was a small, make-shift dance floor in her living room. If you'd asked her what was playing, the dancer couldn't tell you, but she didn't really care either. The music washed over her like a calm wave breaking on the sand, the push and pull of the grains waving back and forth to the natural rhythm. Her tone torso moved like water as she spun around and let her arms follow the path her body made. Dancing like this, just for the sake of dancing, was the only thing that seemed to keep Brittany grounded anymore. When things got to be too much or matters weighed heavily on her mind, she let the music wash away the stress and wipe her mind clean and clear again.

After showering and crawling into bed, Britt checked her phone once more and noticed that Mercedes and Tina had texted her again after getting her response that afternoon. They decided to meet up the next night for a much-needed night out and go dancing at one of the local clubs. It took some persuading, but Brittany finally caved with a quiet chuckle at her friends' antics. She loved those women; if it wasn't for them she wasn't sure she would have survived the move to the big city. Brittany certainly thanked her lucky stars each night for great friends. With the time and place decided, she finally silenced her phone and let the darkness of the night consume her tired body and mind.

_Shit! Fuck, God dammit, why do I always do this? Ugh fuckkkkk!_ The blonde was never one for cursing much but after living in NYC for a few weeks, she quickly picked it up, even if mostly just in her mind. With extreme haste, clothes, water bottles, and shoes were shoved into a light blue bag and slung over a shoulder. Brittany had stayed after her classes had ended and did some extra work on Naya's choreography for her upcoming tour in a few months. And, like always, time had gotten away from her. Glancing at her phone and cringing, the blonde now had just about an hour to get home, shower, dress, and get her ass to the club before her friends called the cops claiming she was rapped and kidnapped or something ridiculous. It took a record four minutes for her long legs to cover the few blocks to her apartment.

Rubbing her hair with a towel, Brittany surveyed her wardrobe for the perfect outfit for tonight. Her mission: to break some hearts. It had been too long since she felt extra sexy and wanted to feel the almost forgotten sensation of being wanted and longed for. She let the towel drop as she fingered through short dresses before she decided on a tiny thing that was still classy. Brittany pulled the dress off the hanger and stepped into the clingy material, watching in the mirror how it molded to the contours of her body. It was an electric blue, strappy dress with large holes cute out on the sides that showed off her ripped torso and back just enough to be teasing. When her arms were at her sides, the dress ended a little before her fingertips and highlighted her long legs. The color brought out her eyes and contrasted well with her skin tone. Satisfied with her dress choice, the blonde glanced at the clock and hurried to do a little light make up and straighten her hair. Twenty minutes later, she was out the door again with her clutch in hand, waving down a taxi.

Like nearly every other time she walked into a bar or club, heads turned. Brittany stepped through the doors after winking to the bouncer and was hit with the unmistakable "club smell": something like the mixture of alcohol, sweat, too much body spray, cigarettes, and a hint of sex. She smiled on instinct; this was her scene. Cyan orbs scanned the room from where she was until she spotted her friends and made her way over to them.

"Well, look at these fine ladies, do you ladies know what you're doing later?" Brittany asked with a coy smile playing at her lips as she walked up behind her friends and placed her hands on the small of their backs.

Mercedes was the first to realize the lame attempt at a pick up line but played along. "Oh, well, actually, we don't. Do you?"

Brittany's smile grew and she leaned in to the women seductively, "I think I have a few ideas…" She raised her eyebrows at them suggestively before all three of them burst into fits of laughter.

"God, B, you just think you can turn anyone, don't you?" Tina teased through a laugh.

The tall blonde sat on the open barstool next to her Asian friend. "Actually, considering I have turned out like, what, eight women now, I'd say, yeah, I think I probably could turn out just about anyone at this point."

"Always so confident and sure of yourself, Britt," Mercedes nudged her friend but was impressed by the high number of "straight" women Brittany had been with. When it came to the blonde bombshell, fellas, keep an eye on your women 'cuz it's not other men you need to be worried about.

Brittany only let herself indulge in two drinks being that she had work in the morning but that's not an issue. She didn't need any encouragement to heat up the club. Within a half hour of arriving, the blonde had every man in the club wanting to get with her, and every girl wishing they were her. It's no surprise that the retired touring dance instructor still new how to shake up the dance scene. And she loved the attention.

A light-skinned Hispanic woman with long dark hair and a clearly fit body slid up behind the dancing blonde and whispered into her ear. "Great choice on the dress, it draws attention and you wear it incredibly well."

Brittany spun around to face the sexy voice that had just complimented her, a slight pink tint to her cheeks that wasn't from the dancing. She hadn't been prepared to be met with such a gorgeous woman but was quick to catch herself staring. The Hispanic woman smiled at her slightly, waiting for a response.

"Thank you, I'm glad it's doing its job."

The woman took a step closer to the blonde, causing Brittany to stop swaying momentarily when she leaned closer and her lips brushed against the shell of the blonde's ear. "A dress can only do so much, but I honestly believe you could make just about anything look drop dead gorgeous." She leaned back looking into blue eyes, "but you knew that already, and me telling you that doesn't do a whole lot since I'm likely the 20th person to tell you how amazing you look."

Slightly taken aback, Brittany stumbled over her words, searching for the right response to that. She had been complimented a number of times that night but this woman was different. The blonde wasn't sure what it was, but there was something mysterious about her that was intriguing.

Picking up the beat again, Brittany smiled at the slightly shorter woman and shrugged slightly. "True, but I don't tire of hearing it."

The woman flashed a dazzling smile. "Well, beautiful, it was nice talking to you. I hope you break a few hearts looking like that tonight." With that, the woman squeezed Brittany's hand and disappeared just as quickly as she had appeared.

When the song changed, Brittany made her way back to the bar. "Hey, B, who was that sexy brunette you were talking to?"

It took a few moments for her to respond, she was still a little dazed at the interesting encounter she just had. "Oh, um, I'm actually not sure. She just complimented me and said I looked beautiful and wished me luck on breaking hearts and then left. It was bizarre."

Just then, the bartender set a Lemon Drop martini in front of Brittany. She went to object, saying she hadn't ordered it, when the bartender stopped her. "Compliments of the woman from the dance floor."

Brittany blushed and picked up the drink to take a sip. It was then that she noticed the writing on the napkin her drink had been served on. _Carmen… hmm she definitely fits her name._ Witnessing the exchange, Tina and Mercedes teased Brittany about her admirer the rest of the night until the women parted ways to go home.

On the taxi ride home, Brittany slid her phone out of her clutch along with the napkin. She wasn't sure why, but for some reason she was compelled to contact this mysterious woman who had caught her attention at the club. So she dialed the number written next to the name and sent a quick text message.

**You are quite cleaver to get the bartender to do your dirty work. :) I'm glad you did, though. Thank you for the drink tonight, and the compliments. –Brittany**

She didn't have to wait long before her phone vibrated in her lap.

**Carmen:**

**Well, Brittany, you are very welcome. It was the least I could do, I had to do something to get your attention. -C**

**Brittany:**

**Oh? And why would you want my attention? -B**

**Carmen:**

**Women like you have them lined up at the door, so everyone blends together. Had to do something memorable so hopefully you'd be a little more interested. -C**

**Brittany:**

**Haha. I wouldn't say lined at the door but you certainly caught my interest, so well done there. –B**

**Carmen:**

**Glad to hear that, Britt. Well, have a great evening. -C**

**Brittany:**

**You, too, Carmen. Good night. -B**

Brittany smiled at her phone as she set it down on the nightstand and pulled off her heels. She had been surprised that Carmen hadn't tried to ask her out or anything like that but it was a refreshing change. The woman was a complete mystery to her but the blonde was never one to turn down a challenge. With a light heart and a smile playing on her lips, Brittany fell into a peaceful sleep that night.

Brittany sighed as she looked around the empty studio and shut off the lights. As she locked the door, her phone vibrated in her jacket pocket. For an April night, it was a little chilly in New York as a brisk breeze blew a few strands of hair across the dancer's face. She pulled the strands behind her ear and checked her phone. When she saw the message from Carmen, she smiled. They had been texting most of the day and had been getting to know each other somewhat. Carmen was quite the charmer, always knowing how to get Brittany to blush by just a few typed words on a screen. She was polite, confident, kind, understanding, active (she played on a club volleyball team four days a week), smart (had graduated from NYU, double majoring in technical theater and music with honors), and of course had a love for music. She worked as the Assistant Stage Director and Light and Sound manager at one of the local theaters, and was a DJ for private clubs and parties when she had the time. Honestly, Brittany was kind of shocked by everything Carmen seemed to be. When her alarm went off reminding her of her dinner with Santana, a pang of guilt flooded her body. _God, this is dumb. I'm not seeing anyone, so I shouldn't feel bad about flirting and getting to know Carmen. Not like I'm dating her either… though, I think I'd like to… Stop it, you're going to dinner with Santana, and you know she wants to make things like they were, don't be a bitch. _Brittany sighed again and let her shoulders slump slightly at the thought of having to shower and change for dinner when all she wanted to do was draw a bath and relax at home tonight. She was persuaded to not cancel when she got an excited text from said Latina. Brittany wasn't one to disappoint so she put on a good face and got ready for her night out, bracing herself for another awkward night.

An hour later, the blonde climbed out of a taxi and stood outside of Villagio's, trying to compose herself. With a deep breath, she pushed through the heavy mahogany doors and took in the warm, authentic Italian atmosphere. It was a rather small place, family owned and operated, but was known for it's amazing food so it was almost always packed and you needed to reservation to get in most nights. The dining room was lit with soft lamps hanging next to the tables with reddish-colored shades and the golden/cream walls gave off a warm, homey feeling. Quiet chattering filled the room with comfort.

Santana spotted the blonde when she stepped into the restaurant and was shocked into stillness for a few moments as she took in the view before her. Brittany had on a simple black pantsuit with a cream blouse and black heels. She looked stunning. The Latina smiled and stood to greet her date. _Friend date, not date-date. Friends, that's what she said, keep it together, Lopez, don't blow this._

"You look amazing."

Brittany blushed and looked at her feet momentarily before meeting brown eyes smiling at her, "Thanks, you don't look so bad yourself."

The smaller woman turned to the hostess, "Table for two under Lopez."

"Right this way, Ms. Lopez."

They were seated in a small booth closer to the back of the dining room. A slightly uncomfortable silence fell over them as they busied themselves with looking over the menu.

"Good evening. My name is Kat and I will be your waitress for the evening. Can I get you some drinks to start with or suggest any entrees?" The waitress was fair-skinned with auburn hair that fell in lightly curled locks around her kind face. Brittany didn't catch the wink thrown her way, but Santana did and she shot the waitress her signature scowl. After ordering (a Blue Moon for the Latina and a 7&7 for the blonde), Kat said she'd get their drinks and bring out some waters and a basket of bread, as well.

"Well, Santana. Must say I was a little surprised to hear from you but thank you for the offer of dinner," Brittany said before breaking off a piece of bread and dipping it in the oil and vinegar mix on the table.

"Yeah, of course. I meant to ask you sooner to thank you for your kindness a few weeks ago but things got a little crazy at the hospital and moving into my new place so time just got away from me."

They chatted for a while before their food was brought out. They conversation died down some as they ate, just enjoying the atmosphere of the little bistro. Several minutes into dinner, Brittany's phone vibrated on the tabletop.

"Oh, god, sorry. I forgot to turn it off before I came out." She quickly snatched the device and went to silence it but smiled when she looked at the screen.

Santana watched as the blue eyes got a familiar look in them. They looked excited, and there was a hint of a blush on those pale cheeks. It took everything she had not to ask what made her dinner date blush like a high school girl.

"Not a problem, looks like it was a good message to get."

"What? Oh, yeah. Just a woman I met at a club a few nights ago, she's quite the charmer." Brittany typed out a quick reply before silencing her phone and putting it in her clutch.

"Yeah? So are you seeing anyone these days?"

"Na, not really. When I moved out here I dated a few people initially. Finn tried hooking me up with a few of his friends but I didn't do well dating men. Tina and Mercedes set up a few meetings with women they knew and I dated one or two for a few weeks or months but nothing really stuck. And of course there's always the people at clubs or bars who hit on me or try to get me into bed," she laughed lightly at the lame attempts people had tried in the past.

Santana had to smile at the warm laugh coming from the blonde. "Sounds like you've had it rough," she quipped sarcastically, her eyes showing she was joking. "I have to say, I am amazed no one's snatched you up yet."

Brittany just smiled. "Not yet, though this Carmen seems like the best candidate in a couple years. But I just met her so who knows, she doesn't know about my career yet so I probably won't tell her 'til it seems she's not interested in me for my money, ya know? What about you? I know you haven't been in the city long and have likely been pretty distracted."

"Yeah, haven't had much time to get out and date. One of the doctors I work with has mentioned a few people she wants me to meet at some point. It's just finding the time to make that happen. Plus, I'm still trying to settle in here, I don't really need a relationship to make things more complicated at the moment."

When the check came, Santana quickly pulled out a credit card before Brittany could even fathom paying for the meal. The women gathered their things and made their way outside.

Brittany went to hail a cab when Santana stopped her. "I have my car here, I can drive you home if you'd like."

"Sure, that'd be great, thanks. When did you get a car?"

"Not long after we had our little run-in. I was looking for apartments farther on the outskirts of the city and figured I might want a little something to help with commute when the weather gets nasty and messes with traffic."

The blonde nodded, "Makes sense. I sold mine when I got here, everything I need is within walking distance and if it isn't, I just use the subway or taxis."

The Latina stopped in front of a red, new model Corvette with black rims and matching racing stripes that were obviously not manufactured into the car. Brittany had to laugh; it was such a 'Santana' kind of car. It practically screamed 'sassy, confident, kick-ass, serious, independent, don't-fuck-with-me' and of course 'has money, bitch!'.

"Yeah, definitely a "little something" there huh?"

The brunette blushed slightly and unlocked the doors, opening the passenger side for her guest. Brittany slid into the leather bucket seat and noticed the inside of the car was just as flashy as the outside. The sound system and been tripped out with additional subs in the back, a touch screen to adjust just about everything in the car, and silver trim to outline the black leather.

"So I take it you're doing pretty well for yourself after the divorce?" 

"What makes you say that?" Santana raised an eyebrow at the blonde as she started the engine and pulled out of the parking lot.

"This had to have been a couple hundred thousand, not including the excessive detailing, pin striping outside, and upgrades in here."

Santana stayed silent for a moment, surprised at the blonde's keen observations and obvious knowledge of cars. "Um, yeah, it was a pretty penny but I got a lot of money from the house and leaving Andy. Plus the hospital sent me a check before I moved out here as a 'thank you' for joining the team. So yeah, I had money to spend."

It was a wonder the two women had caught on to each other so well in college, they were complete opposites in so many ways. Santana liked to show off her money and indulge in luxuries when she could. Brittany had money, a lot of it, but rarely spent more than she needed, just putting most of her pay checks into savings for the future. The most money she'd spent on anything since moving was on fixing up the studio and buying her flat (it's modestly furnished but the location made it more expensive). Brittany was reminded of their very different driving styles, too, as the fiery Latina weaved through traffic, cursing at anyone who cut her off or came to close to her baby.

Fifteen minutes later, the Mercedes rolled up in front of Brittany's building. Santana cut the engine and got out to say a proper goodbye. They stood awkwardly for a few moments, not really sure what the protocol was for ending a night with an ex-lover who you kept running into.

"So, um, thanks again for tonight. It was nice," Brittany said, looking down at her hands that were fiddling with the clasp on her clutch.

Santana rubbed the back of her neck before nervously pushing hair behind her ear. Brittany smiled as she recognized the habit. "Yeah, it was fun. We should do it again sometime."

"Sure, just text or call. You have the number." With that, Brittany turned to head into her building, feeling like nothing else really needed to be said.

"Hey, Britt?" Santana called out timidly. Brittany turned at the sound of her name, waiting for the other woman to continue. "Thanks for letting me do this." The blonde just smiled softly and gave a small wave before entering the building.

Santana sighed and walked back around the car to the driver's side. She sat and collected her thoughts for a few seconds before starting up the car and driving home.

Once inside, Brittany pulled her phone out of her purse and turned it back on and set it on the nightstand next to her bed while she went to the bathroom to wash her face and brush her teeth. It beeped once. Changed into a tank top and some shorts, Britt checked to see what she'd missed and reread her conversation with Carmen.

**Carmen:**

**Hey there, gorgeous. I just was thinking about you and how you owe me a drink ;) I'd like to take you up on that soon. -C**

**Brittany:**

**Hey, beautiful. Yeah, it seems like I do owe you, though I think you conned me into this :P -B**

**Carmen:**

**All part of the plan, babe. Needed an excuse to see you again. To get to know the beautiful woman from the club who peaked my interest. -C**

**Brittany:**

**Ah, well that makes sense. And you don't need an excuse to see me, just ask and you shall receive :). Hey I'm at dinner with a friend, I'll text you when I'm home. -B**

**Carmen:**

**Well, Ms. Brittany, can I have the honor of taking you out sometime? (Sorry for interrupting dinner!) - C**

Brittany beamed at the last text message she'd missed that night. She hadn't been doted on or treated like such a lady in a long while. It was refreshing and a nice change from the usual assholes that either just wanted in her pants or to get at her money. Being a well-known celebrity dancer had it down sides. She typed back a quick response before sliding between the sheet and waiting for a response. It didn't take long.

**Brittany:**

**I would love to go out with you. I am flattered at the offer. :) I'm headed to bed, got an early morning tomorrow. Hopefully I'll talk to you then? Good night, hun. Xx -B**

**Carmen:**

**Outstanding, I'll figure out the details soon and let you know. And of course you'll hear from me tomorrow. Sleep sweet, Britt. X - C**


	13. Chapter 13

**Bemo1992: Thanks so much for your review and suggestion. I kind of took some of it to heart. Hope you like what I decided to do with it! Thanks again.**

**AN: Thanks everyone for reviews. Sounds like a lot of people read this all the way through in one sitting, which is amazing, so I am trying to get this chapter up quick. Here's the newest part. Let me know what ya'll think!**

**Xox**

**B**

Chpt 13

_God, I can't believe I'm doing this. It's too soon, I'm not ready. I can't do this… _She glanced at the clock next to the bed. _Balls, half hour. Ugh! _An audible sigh escaped her lips as her long fingers pulled her hair back in a high pony tail, pulling it tight.

Dark eyes peered into the mirror. Curled bangs framed her face. Black eye liner and mascara brought out her eyes and thick lashes. Deep red shadowed her lids and matched the nail polish she was wearing. Lips curled into a smirk as a red tube of lipstick glided over the smooth skin. The red looked absolutely amazing in contrast to her dark complexion and black, clinging dress. She looked hot and she knew it. But that didn't stop the butterflies partying in her stomach as the minutes ticked away. Finally, she was ready, at least outwardly, and left before she could think twice.

The Vette pulled into a small parking lot not far from Brittany's place. Four inch, satin heels stepped out on to the pavement. Tugging at her dress that had ridden up slightly during the ride, Santana made her way towards the door. She strode confidently into the club, trying to mask her insecurities. The Latina stepped to the side to allow others in behind her and slipped her phone out of her purse, checking the message she had gotten just before she pulled up. _Okay, she said she'd meet me by the bar… Ah, there she is looking sexy as ever._

She took another deep breath to steady her erratic heartbeat and slowly weaved her way towards the woman she was meeting. Kelsey had introduced her to this woman a week or two before at a colleague's dinner party and they had hit it off for the few minutes they talked, exchanging numbers. When Santana moved to New York, she made a vow to herself to be more honest and open to new opportunities. That meant it was time for her to face her sexuality and obvious attraction to females. It wasn't easy for her to do, but she was trying. It was long past time for the Latina to make sure she was happy. Besides, half her family were already pissed she had divorced and moved so far away, even if it was Andy's fault, stupid Catholics.

"Dianna, hey, you look amazing," Santana's voice oozed with sexual tension, even though she was feeling anything but confident and sexy.

The blonde in question turned at the sound of her name, smiling when she took in the sight before her. Santana was gorgeous and Dianna said as much. "Not as great at you; I swear God must have spent extra special time on you, and I thank him for that."

The Latina blushed but leaned in to give the slightly taller woman a hug before joining her at the bar. She ordered a Mai Tai and turned to her date, she couldn't help the smile that tugged at her lips. Dianna's hair was in a short bob, pinned back on one side of her head, framing her face on the other. Her blue, off the shoulder dress made her hazel eyes look so much more turquoise tonight. As before, she wore barely any make up, but she really didn't need it. Her skin was so flawless it seemed like porcelain, ready to break at the slightest touch. When Santana's eyes roamed over the perfectly pouty, pink lips, she watched as they slowly curved into a smile which caused her eyes to snap back up to meet hazel ones.

With a perfectly manicured eyebrow raised, the blonde joked, "Liking what you see, huh Lopez?"

Santana stammered at being caught, "I, ugh- yeah, yeah… You really look beautiful tonight."

Pale cheeks tinted pink with a blush. "Thank you, Santana. As do you. Hey, do you want to dance?" Dianna said, motioning towards the dance floor behind them.

"I would love to," she said through a smile, downing her drink and grabbing Dianna's hand. "Let's do this!"

Santana pulled her date out into the crowd and then pressed her body into the thin but muscular frame of the blonde in front of her. The bass reverberated through their bodies as they swayed and ground against one another. Feeling the liquid courage, Santana wrapped her arms around Dianna's neck, trailing her fingers across the sensitive skin. Her gazed burnt a path, watching as goose bumps rose along the blonde's collarbone and chest, emphasizing her perky bust. The brunette let her eyes linger a little too long because those pink lips chuckled at the smaller woman, catching her leering. She felt slight heat rise to her cheeks but pushed it away when skilled hands pulled her closer, flush against the warm body next to her. Dianna ground her hips against Santana's, smirking at the slight moan escaping the pouty lips she wanted to kiss so badly. Santana watched at blue/green orbs danced back and forth between her own eyes and lips; Dianna's tongue subconsciously ran along her bottom lip when she let her eyes stray on the Latina's lips a little longer than before. _Fuck, what this woman does to me. How have I been rejecting these feelings for so long, there is no way in hell I could refuse them now. _She surged forward and pressed her lips against Dianna's, loving the soft yet firm, familiar feeling. Hearing a gasp and moan, Santana moaned into the luscious lips on her own and swiped her tongue along Dianna's bottom lip. The blonde moaned again and parted her lips, letting the Latina's tongue explore her mouth and dance with her own. She caught a deep, throaty growl from the brunette when she pushed her thigh between a pair of tanned legs, feeling the heat and dampness already seeping from Santana's center. Hands were roaming over exposed flesh, teeth nipping at sensitive skin, when an awkward cough broke the sexual tension quickly becoming dangerous. Santana was so lost in the amazing sensations running through her body, she almost didn't even hear it. But when Dianna broke the kiss and pulled away to look in the direction of the noise, the very flustered brunette turned around ready to tear into whoever had so rudely interrupted her mack-session.

"Geezes Christ, what the fuck," Santana was cut off by her own gasp. _Really? Fuck my life! What the fucking hell is going on here!_

_Well this is awkward, why in the hell did I have to even come over to see if I was right? And why the fuck do I even care? _"Hey, Santana." Brittany smiled awkwardly as a Hispanic woman- Carmen, Santana realized- walked up behind her and slid her hand into Brittany's, intertwining their fingers.

The Latina cleared her throat, "Brittany."

Dianna sensed the tense situation; frankly she was just straight up pissed that their sexy times was cut short, so she made a quick move to change that and get things back on track. Wrapping her arms around the smaller woman's waist and resting her chin on her bare shoulder, she introduced herself. "I'm Dianna, you must be Brittany. It's nice to finally meet the woman who let this amazing person go," she cooed, referring to the woman in her arms and planting a kiss on the tan shoulder blade, making Santana shiver.

"Um, yeah. I'm Brittany, and this" she kissed the tanned hand in hers and wrapped an arm around the waist next to her, "is Carmen."

Carmen reached out her hand and shook Santana's, then Dianna's. A long pause followed. "Well, this is substantially awkward. C'mon, Britts, let's go get a drink and leave these ladies to whatever they were up to."

With a lingering look over her shoulder, Brittany turned to follow her date back towards the bar.

Santana sighed and ran her hands over her face, careful not to smudge her make up. Dianna smiled softly, a hint of sadness swirling in the greens of her irises. She brushed her thumb along the dark hairline, rubbing away the beads of sweat lying there.

"So, that was Brittany. She's pretty, I can see why you fell for her," Dianna spoke softly, her lips not far from the Latina's ear, her arms still wrapped around the darker woman, her front pressed into Santana's back.

A tiny smile graced pouty lips, "Yeah, she is. God that was weird." She turned in the warm embrace, "I am so sorry about that. Fuck, that ruined everything." She looked down in defeat, visibly deflating.

Dianna tucked her finger under the Latina's chin, forcing smoldering eyes to meet her own. "Hey now, that's not true. I am having an amazing night with an absolutely beautiful woman. I couldn't ask for more, hun." She leaned down slightly and pressed a soft kiss to the brunette's lips.

Those lips curled up at the corners, a small smile playing at her mouth. "Thank you. I am having a great night, too. I know we haven't been here long but do you think you'd want to maybe get out of here? I have my car, we could head back to my place. I live farther outside the city so the stars are amazing at night and I have some wine and even a hot tub if you wanted to borrow a suit… I just need to get out of here and breath and just, I don't know. I'm sorry."

The blonde had to laugh at the rambling woman before her. She hadn't known Santana to be insecure. When they had met two weeks ago at the business party, she was so confident and sure of herself. It was refreshing, yet somehow incredibly sad, to see the beautiful Latin woman so off her game.

"Of course, hun, that sounds amazing," she said, smiling and leading the smaller woman towards the door.

The brisk New York night hit Santana's flushed face with a harsh force, sobering her up slightly. _Damn, she's even more beautiful with the moonlight shining off her dark raven hair and reflecting in her deep eyes. God, this woman is breath taking, _Dianna thought, her breath hitching in her throat as she stopped and stared.

Santana was jerked slightly when Dianna stopped in her tracks, their hands still laced together. She looked back confused. Awe and adoration was written all over the blonde's face, making Santana smile sweetly.

"C'mon, gorgeous, I want to get you into a bikini and get you wet," she said, smiling seductively towards her blonde counter part, smirking when a deep blush rose over pale cheeks.

They got to Santana's car and Dianna somehow, we still are not sure how, got the darker woman to hand over the keys to her baby. _How does this woman make me do things like this? _Santana thought, reveling in the tingle feeling caused by the contact of the blonde's fingertips on hers when she gave her the keys.

"I don't know why I am okay with this but please, be careful with her," Santana commented as she slid into the passenger seat, a seat she'd only been in once when they did the test drive when she bought it months ago.

Dianna snorted, turning the key in the ignition, "Not to worry, babe. I had a 1967 250 Shelby GT back at home." She paused, taking in the Latina's shocked expression, clearly confused why she didn't still have it. "I let my little sister take it when I moved out here a few years ago until she gets a new car. It sounds like that might happen sooner rather than later since she's getting married in a few months and I heard my dad say he'd get her a car of her own as a wedding gift last time I was home."

"Wow, Shelby GT? Damn, that is fricking amazing, god that's so hot!" Santana said, looking over at the blonde's profile in amazement.

She chuckled, it was a normal response. "Yeah, my parents weren't exactly poor but I actually paid for 85% of the car myself from savings after working in high school as a waitress, a nanny, and doing random jobs for neighbors. Took six years but I treated myself as a graduation gift from undergrad when I was 20." Dianna had skipped fourth grade so she graduated early from college and went to grad school to pursue her career as a PR rep. She was the representative for Naya Rivera and a few other artists, and definitely made a great amount of money.

"Damn, I can imagine you're more than excited to get your baby back in a while then huh? When does your sister get married?"

"Actually, in like two months. It's crazy. We kind of lost touch when I left for college mostly, being that I am four years older than her, but I guess you can find love at 20, huh?" Dianna quipped, shooting a quick glance beside her.

"Yeah, I guess so. Kind of crazy but she's lucky. I envy people who have found it already," Santana said, a slight sad tone hinting under her cheery exterior.

"Me too," Dianna said. She stared out the window, letting her gaze glaze over, obviously ending the conversation of marriage and love.

They pulled up to a relatively dark house ten minutes outside of the busy part of the city. It was decent sized, three floors with a basement, and had a good yard surrounding the house. Porch lights were on and a light in the entryway, but otherwise the house was dark so Dianna couldn't get a good look. She cut the engine and stepped out on the gravel driveway, waiting for Santana to join her.

Tilting her head up towards the deep blue, nearly black, sky, "You weren't kidding. These stars are so amazingly bright; I've never seen them this bright. It's like you don't even need lights on, it's so bright." Santana just smiled and wrapped her left arm around the thin waist next to her, glancing upwards and sighing with content ness.

"It really it beautiful. C'mon, let's get you in a sexy two piece and into the hot tub."

They took the five steps up to the front porch and Santana unlocked the door, flipping on the lights as she made her way towards the kitchen to pour them both a drink. Dianna let her eyes wander around the immaculate house. The living room had tan, speckled carpeting that matched nicely with the large, coffee-colored L-shaped leather couch and love seat. A heavy wooden coffee table was set next to the ottoman and matched the bookshelves lining one wall. The other wall was nearly all windows, over looking a beautiful view of the city. Between the bookshelves was a stone-faced fireplace with a large flat screen TV mounted above it. A few pictures were scattered around the room of the Latina and what was obviously her family. There was even one of her and the blonde from the club, along with a shorter brunette with a slightly larger nose, a curly-haired pale girl, and another short blonde. They looked to be in college, being that there was a fountain with a wall behind them with the words "Rockhurst University" mounted on it. Dianna smiled at the carefree look on Santana's face, it was a refreshing change from her usual seriousness. _Life must have made you harder sometime after this…_

Dianna turned around as the sound of heels clicked closer to the living room. The brunette handed her a margarita and grabbed her free hand, leading her down a hallway towards, what she soon realized was, the Latina's bedroom. It was the only other room that was fully decorated at the moment. A large king-sized bed was set just off to the left of center with deep brown, almost black, nightstands beside it. A matching dresser and mirror stood against the opposite wall and a small almost black armchair was in the corner. This room and the living room seemed to be the only rooms carpeted that Dianna could see.

Rummaging around in the en suite walk-in closet, Santana re-entered the room with a skimpy black and gold bikini in hand. "Here, put this on. You can use my bathroom just right over there," she said, pointing to the adjoining master bath.

When the blonde came back out, pulling at the tiny material that left next to nothing for the imagination, her breath caught in her throat. Santana had also changed, but into a red and black suit that showed off her toned legs, sculpted abs, and the curve of her bust. She snickered when hazel eyes lingered on her breasts that strained against the tight fabric. Dianna instantly blushed but noticed the brunette checking her out, too.

"Well, I'd say that fits you well," Santana said, clearly approving of the sight before her. "C'mon, the tub is back here."

She slid open a sliding glass door that lead to the back deck and revealed the hot tub. It wasn't huge, merely a four-to-six seating one, but that was all she really needed. They both pushed the cover off and slipped into the warm, bubbling water, letting it wash over their cool skin.

"Mmmm, God I love this thing, best investment ever," Santana groaned, settling back against a seat and taking a rather large sip of her drink.

Dianna made her move and scooted closer to the brunette, slipping an arm around her waist and sighing her agreement. They gazed up at the stars for a while, just enjoying each others' presence and the warm water relaxing their muscles and easing their minds. The night's events ran through Santana's mind over and over as she tried to make sense of the look she saw in blue eyes at the club. After a few minutes she shook her head, ridding herself of the confusing thoughts and focusing on the woman holding her.

They stayed in the tub for another half hour or so before deciding that pruned skin wasn't very attractive. Santana grabbed two fluffy towels from the cabinet under the hot tub and handed one to Dianna, wrapping herself in the other.

Back inside, Dianna dropped her towel, "Mind if I take a quick shower just to rinse off the chlorine?"

"No, of course not, go right on ahead, there are towels in there under the sinks."

"Thanks." Santana watched the blonde's retreating figure, taking in the lightly tanned skin covering rippling muscles as she walked. _I could get used to a sight like that, damn._

She heard the shower turn on and decided to just go with it. Pushing open the slightly cracked door, the Latina quietly stripped out of her bikini, noticing the other wet suit on the ground, before stepping into the shower. Dianna nearly screamed at the sudden company, and dropped the soap she had been holding. Santana just smirked at her.

"Didn't anyone ever tell you never to drop the soap?"

"I, uh- I, you- you scared the hell out of me," was all she could manage.

Santana smiled smugly and stepped around the blonde. When she bent down to retrieve the soap, she glanced back and caught hazel eyes roaming over her round backside with lust swirling in the irises. She stood back up and turned to face the lighter woman. Santana rubbed the soap between her own hands before setting it down in the holder. She ran her slick fingers over Dianna's shoulders, massaging her traps and earning a quiet moan of pleasure from the other woman. She let her hands travel lower, grazing lightly over plump breasts and watching how rosy nipples grew hard at the teasing touch. Dianna's breathing became erratic and she had to hold on to Santana's waist to keep from falling over with arousal. She felt the familiar heat from earlier that night returning with a renewed force, and was sure the wetness between her thighs was not all from the shower. Tan fingers continued their journey over a flat stomach and dark eyes noticed how the muscles contracted at her touch. She smiled again, looking back into hooded hazel eyes. Her hands slid to thin hips and around to a muscular back. The action caused the blonde to take a step forward, pressing her soapy front into that of the Latina's. Both women moaned at the sudden contacted. Dianna let her hands do as they pleased, cupping Santana's breasts and alternated between pinching the taunt nipples lightly and running her thumbs over the buds. Santana dropped her head onto the taller woman's shoulder, getting lost in the sensations coursing through her body.

"Oh my God," she let out, breathily.

When Santana picked her head back up, the arousal she found in the other woman's eyes drove her crazy and she pressed their lips together hungerly. They kissed passionately, pulling each other impossibly closer and letting their hands explore the others' body completely. When Dianna's leg again slipped between the Latina's thighs, Santana couldn't take it anymore. She whipped around and shut off the shower before grabbing a towel and quickly drying of the blonde, and then herself. Discarding the towel carelessly on the floor, she pushed Dianna against the cool wall, crashing their lips together once again. The blonde gasped at the cold wall behind her but quickly melted into the searing kiss. Santana needed more. Much to the taller woman's displeasure, she broke the kiss and pulled her towards the bed. Without hesitation, Santana pushed Dianna back onto the bed and crawled on top of her. Regaining her composure, she gazed down at the beautifully naked body beneath her, raking her eyes from the athletic legs, shaved and slightly glistening core, sculpted abs, erect nipples, and up to those swirling eyes she could get lost in forever. Dianna looked back up at the Latina, clear need in her eyes, silently asking for her to do something, anything, to ease the pressure building at her center. Santana smirked when Dianna canted her hips upwards, trying to get some sort of friction. She bucked again, this time brushing her mound against Santana's exposed clit, and Santana let out a loud moan. That's all it took. She slipped her thigh between Dianna's and ground down hard against her, leaning down and letting their nipples brush lightly. Dianna arched her back, craving more contact, as Santana trailed kisses along her collarbone and neck, nipping softly and leaving love bites in her wake.

"Mmm, fuck, Santana, please- jus- ugh God, touch me," Dianna breathed into the Latina's ear.

Santana moaned at the warm breath and sexy, low voice hitting her ear. She let her hand slide from the swell of a perky breast it had been teasing, trailing lightly over a flat stomach until it stilled at the blonde's hip. Santana pressed her thumb softly into the skin just inside and above the hipbone, earning a deep moan from hitting a hot spot. She smirked against the blonde's lips, pressing down a few more times until Dianna's hip thrusts were too much for her to take. When her fingers finally made it to Dianna's core, she was happily surprised to find how wet the woman was for her.

"Oh my God, Di, you are so fucking wet," she rasped into the woman's ear, running her finger tips lightly from bottom to top of her slit, already feeling the sticky juices coating her own skin.

"Mmm, yes, God yes, please, San-…" She couldn't even finish her sentence as two fingers slid inside her, filling her pleasantly.

Santana worked her fingers inside Dianna's tight pussy, loving the feel of her walls clenching at every thrust. They worked up a rhythm that sped up at Dianna's breathing became shallower and her moans louder. The woman was close, her walls were starting to spasm slightly at every touch. Santana entered with three fingers this time and let her thumb brush over the swollen clit. Dianna gasped and screamed Santana's name. Another few more thrusts and the addition of curling her fingers inside of the woman, and Dianna was crashing into one of the most intense orgasms of her life. Her body curled into Santana's and she gripped the tan back so tightly there were red marks left down Santana's back. The sudden intense pressure of Dianna's thigh pressing hard against her own core, combined with the incredibly sexy and arousing sounds coming from the blonde, sent Santana into her own orgasm. When both women had stopped shuddering with waves of pleasure, they collapsed onto the bed, breathing hard. Santana was still slightly on top of Dianna and could feel their chests rising and falling in sync. She pulled her fingers slowly from Dianna's center, causing the other woman to gasp quietly, and brought her fingers to her mouth. Hazel eyes watched lazily as Santana cleaned off her fingers. She leaned down and placed a soft kiss on the blonde who moaned softly at the taste of herself on the Latina's lips.

When they broke apart, Santana smiled, "You are so beautiful, Di."

All the blonde could do was smile back and pull the smaller woman into her side. Santana grabbed a blanket from the foot of the bed and draped it over them. Within a few minutes, they fell asleep with Dianna's arms wrapped protectively around Santana's waist and Santana's head resting on the blonde's chest. The beating of their hearts lulled them into sweet dreams.

Brittany lay staring at the ceiling fan. It was dark but when she turned her head she could make out the body next to her. Dark, thick hair was splayed across her chest and shoulder, warm breath tickling her bare stomach. Carmen had an arm thrown over Brittany's waist and was snuggled in close, sleeping soundly. Brittany sighed. She couldn't understand why she was feeling like this. It wasn't a bad feeling exactly, but it wasn't quite right either. They'd had an amazing night together at the club (besides running into a certain Latina practically having sex with some blonde), had came home and cuddled by the fireplace, and Carmen had brought Brittany to three amazing orgasms before falling asleep in her arms. She was happy, warm, and felt loved. But still there was a weird feeling she couldn't quite place. It almost felt like part of her was a little bit empty. _It's been two weeks and this is only the first time I've slept with her. It's just because of how soon all of this is, I'm sure it will be filled with time._ Readjusting her position slightly, Brittany tightened her hold on the smaller woman in her arms and let her head rest on the brunette's. After a few minutes, her breathing evened out in time with Carmen's and she fell asleep, dreaming of a different Latina.


	14. Chapter 14

**AN: So this chapter kind of took a diff direction than I thought but I like it so I'll prolly stick with it. I'm expecting to only have about 20 chpts total so we're getting closer to the end. Let me know what everyone thinks! Oh, and the 'Quinntana' isn't Quinntana, it's Santana and Dianna (Dianna is worlds different than her character), so lay off lol okay well enjoy and review if you'd like!**

**Xox**

**B**

Chpt 14

Brittany was lost in her thoughts. _It's not like there's really all that big a difference between us. I mean, really. She's kinda tall and built similarly to me. Maybe she has dance or cheerleading in her background… Her hair's a little darker than mine but not much. She's tanner than I am, but my eyes are more blue. God, why did I even notice these things about her? _It had been over two weeks since that awkward run-in at the club with Santana and the other blonde, but Brittany could not seem to shake her curiosity in the woman. She was even starting to think she saw her everywhere, blue eyes gazed over towards a head of blonde that was turned away from her, talking to Naya. They were at her studio, just finishing up a lesson, when a blonde walked in and stole the singer away for a few moments, letting Brittany get lost in her own head for the fourth time that day. _Seriously, this is just ridiculous. There have to be thousands of blonde women in this city, let alone in all of New Yor- Damn._ Said blonde woman turned around at that moment and started walking across the dance floor towards where Brittany was standing, leaning against the mirrors.

Dianna smiled as she got closer to the tall dancer, extending her hand when she was within reaching distance, "Hey, I'm Dianna Argon, Naya's PR. I'm really sorry I never got a chance to meet you before now. Life got a little hectic with some of the other artists I represent, as you can imagine." She flashed her million-watt smile, showing off perfectly straight, white teeth.

_I wonder if she had braces and bleaches those things. _Brittany returned the smile and took the slightly smaller hand in hers. "Pleasure's mine, and not to worry, I understand working with celebrities," the dancer joked lightly.

"Well, I just wanted to introduce myself and possibly try to work out scheduling details for the rest of the month of May." While Dianna talked, Brittany took in her very different appearance from the last time they met. Her short hair was clipped back on both sides with modest barrettes. She wore light eye make-up and nothing else on her face. In a very professional manner, Dianna had on a cream blouse and black slacks with two-inch black heels. Sure, the woman was clearly more professionally dressed, but the dancer still recognized her.

Brittany, on the other hand, wasn't hugely surprised that Dianna hadn't connected the dots. She was clad in baggy black sweatpants that hung low on her thin hips, a white wife beater that didn't quite cover her midriff, black Adiddas, and had her long hair pull up messily under a black baseball cap. With no make-up on, she was sure she looked like a completely different person, and Brittany wasn't about to be the one to call attention to their previous encounter weeks before. Turns out, she didn't have to.

"Hey there, beautiful." Three pairs of eyes all turned to look towards where the husky voice came from near the doorway.

Dianna's green eyes light up, "Baby! What are you doing here? I thought we were meeting up later tonight for dinner?"

Dark eyes were trained on only one blonde as Santana walked up and wrapped her arms around Dianna, kissing her cheek. "I know, but I thought I'd surprise you and take you out to a quick lunch on my break. I called your office and James said you were over at some studio with Naya." At this, Santana turned and smiled at the only other brunette in the room and caught her staring at the dance instructor with puppy-dog eyes.

The younger girl blushed slightly but smiled back before gathering up her stuff, "We're done right, Britt? My legs are killing me and I could use a massage… You could always come with me if you wanted, though I'm sure your amazingly fit body doesn't ever hurt or get tight."

Startled out of staring at Santana, Brittany pushed off the mirrors and gathered her stuff, as well. "Sure thing. Same time tomorrow, though, and thanks but I still have two classes this afternoon. Maybe next time?" she offered, smiling sweetly at the slightly younger artist who clearly had a crush on her. Standing up again, Brittany addressed her ex using the one name she knew no one else could use. "Hey, Tana, nice to see you again."

The Latina had been currently occupied whispering in her girlfriend's ear, oblivious to anything going on around her, but snapped her eyes to her left when she heard her name. "Oh, um, hey, Britt. This is, um, Dianna. Well, I guess you guys already met…" she trailed off, clearly unsure of what to do in this situation, AGAIN.

Brittany laughed for a few seconds, watching the awkward fidgeting of her ex-girlfriend and the realization and recognition dawn on Dianna, who's eyes grew impossibly wide when she placed the dancer's face. "Yeah, twice now actually, this would make three."

Santana looked back and forth between her past and current girlfriends with a confused gaze. "I didn't, um, recognize Brittany a few minutes ago when I introduced myself as Naya's PR. God, I feel like an idiot, sorry about that," Dianna said, looking slightly flustered.

"Don't worry about it, I know I look a lot different in my work clothes than when I go out," she said, motioning to her attire for the day. Santana couldn't help but appreciate the view that was her ex. She loved the girl in nothing more that sweats and a beater, it was unbelievably sexy and so much easier to get her out of. _Stop it, your current girlfriend is standing right next to you, you can't ogle your ex like that!_

Silence fell over the room for a few moments. "Well, great studio, Britt. You certainly have made a name for yourself."

"Thanks, Tana. But it's my lunch break and it seems you two have plans, as does Naya, so I vote we all leave now while things aren't too awkward yet," a small smile playing at Brittany's lips.

The dancer waved to Naya absently when her taxi pulled away and watched the couple walk hand-in-hand down the sidewalk, the opposite way Brittany was planning to go. For whatever reason, Brittany really wanted to follow them. Something pulled at her to follow, but that same pull ached painfully when they were close to her. _It's just because of the history and knowing she's finally accepted herself and her sexuality, but it's not with you. She got over you, now it's time to get over her, _she thought, sighing heavily. Forcing herself to turn around, the blonde slowly made her way towards her favorite deli down the street, completely missing the sad glance Santana threw over her shoulder.

It was already dark by the time Brittany pushed through the familiar door, looking more than a little disheveled.

"Hey, B," Finn called from the bar, "it's been a while." When the blonde only responded with a small, half-hearted smile and slumped heavily in her seat the dopey guy noticed how upset she seemed. "Hey, what's eating at you?"

Brittany just shrugged, keeping her eyes cast down. "Nothing, just been a long day and have a lot on my mind."

"Did you and Mike hire anyone new yet?"

"Yeah, a guy named Shane, still working out some bugs with him, though." She sighed and took a sip of her much needed drink.

Finn looked at her and frowned, taking note of the slightly grayish tint to her skin and the bags under her eyes. "Have you been eating normally? You look like a holocaust victim, Britt."

"Ha, thanks, Finn," she retorted with a sarcastic bite, automatically apologizing for her attitude. "I'm sorry, Finn. It's been a weird few weeks and the last few days haven't been any better."

Finn walked out from behind the bar and took a seat next to his friend. The place was basically empty on a Wednesday night so it didn't matter. He sat facing her and placed his hand on her sweatpant-clad knee. "What's going on?" he asked, concern lacing his words.

Brittany sighed again and rested her forehead on her forearms on the bar. "I don't know what's wrong with me, Finn. I mean, like three weeks ago I was at Tracks with Carmen, the girl I told you about."

"Ah, sexy Spanish woman,' he interrupted.

"Yeah, her. And we were dancing and I noticed a figure a little ways away from me that looked like Santana. When I saw how she was dancing I knew it was her. And for whatever God forsaken reason, I just HAD to go and see if my suspicion was right. Sometimes I really hate being right. It was her and she was basically about to have sex with this blonde woman right there on the dance floor. Since then I haven't been able to get the image of them making out heatedly out of my head. She looks almost just like me, Finn! Tall, blonde, athletic, but her eyes are green instead of blue… We could practically be sisters! It's like she's trying to replace me. Though, I guess she can't really replace something she doesn't have to begin with. Then today I met Naya's PR and of course, it's the blonde from the club. And to top that off, Santana came into the studio just then to surprise her new girlfriend with a quick lunch on her break. It was so sweet I nearly vomited right there. I don't understand what I'm feeling. I'm happy with Carmen. She treats me well and is sweet and caring and amazing in bed. But for whatever reason I can't shake this aching, empty feeling in my chest. And I have no right to be jealous of Dianna, Santana's girlfriend, but I've realized that's what it is I feel when I think of her holding my ex; it's jealousy, not anger. What the fuck is wrong with me? She tried to get me back twice and both times I blew her off and now I'm the one freaking out." Brittany was panting from lack of breathe by the time she grew silent, small tears dripping on the black countertop.

Finn just looked at her with sympathy and opened his arms up to her. She fell into his embrace and let her tears fall freely, still unsure what the tears were caused by. He rocked her back and forth and rubbed soothing circles on her back until she calmed down some.

"You love her, always have and probably always will," he whispered into her hair.

She sniffed and wiped at her eyes, looking at him. "I don't- well, yeah, I guess. But I thought it was a different kind of love. She was my first love, you never really get over that first love. I can't still be in love with a woman who ripped my heart to shreds, can I?"

"I don't know much about relationships, B, but I do know love when I see it and I know you are still in love with her. The softness in your face and caring in your eyes when you even just talk about her makes it obvious. The better question is, what are you going to do about it?"

Brittany stared absently out toward the busy street, thinking. "I don't know, Finn. But I can't keep feeling like this, it's like having my heart broken all over again."

He smiled and patted her knee before returning behind the counter, "Good, then you know what to do."

Bringing her gaze back to her friend she furrowed her brow in confusion. "What do you mean, I have no idea what to do."

"Sure you do; there is only one thing you can do." With that he went to help the group of tourists who had come in and left Brittany to think it over.

With another heavy sigh, Brittany got up, left a few bucks on the bar top, and made her walk home. Twenty minutes later, she was staring at her ceiling, subconsciously chewing on her lip in thought. Blue eyes glanced over at the phone on the night stand as it lit up for the fifth time since she had left work. She new Carmen was trying to get ahold of her but Brittany just didn't have the heart to talk to the woman right now when she wasn't sure what her next move was going to be yet. She knew she was stringing Carmen along and what she was doing was no better than what Santana did to her nearly a decade ago, but that didn't make her choice any easier. Brittany flicked on her Pandora on her phone to hopefully help drown out the thoughts running ramped through her mind and closed her eyes, willing her brain to shut off for the night.

Across town, Santana sat opposite Dianna at the same Italian restaurant she had asked another blonde to a number of months ago. A pale hand was rubbing the back of her hand softly as they talked quietly and sipped wine, waiting for their meals to be brought out. Dianna was talking animatedly about Naya's music, which, from the sound of it, sounded like it was really good and going to be a big hit once her first concert kicked off. Santana wondered if she'd have been in a similar place if she'd actually pursued her love of music and singing. It was something very few people knew about the Latina save for her sister and Brittany. Even Andy hadn't known she had a passion for writing her own lyrics and figuring out chords and notes on her acoustic guitar to accompany it. It was a long time fantasy of hers: to someday perform a song she composed, in front of a loving crowd, while Brittany put her words into physical form and grace. She shook her head to clear her thoughts when their waitress, the same one who had hit on Brittany, brought them their dinners. The rest of the meal was filled with minimal chatter. Dianna often caught her girlfriend staring off into space with a deep sadness in her eyes. The brunette was a strong woman and hated to show anyone weakness, but the blonde knew that something was going on with her. She had been abnormally quiet since that afternoon and had spaced out a few times that evening. When Santana dropped her off at her apartment with only a kiss on the cheek and the excuse that she had early appointments in the morning so she couldn't come up, Dianna knew for sure. She had sensed it from the beginning but that night made it clear. Santana was not over Brittany and likely never would be. But she wasn't that troubled over it. Sure, she enjoyed spending time with the brunette and cared for her, not to mention the amazingly hot sex, but Dianna wasn't looking to fall in love and she was pretty sure that while she loved Santana to an extent, she likely wouldn't ever truly fall for her. As she climbed into bed, she made a resolution: if Santana needed someone to try to fill the void while she figured out her shit or until Brittany realized she was still in love with the Latina, too, she would be that for her. She would continue to care for the woman and show her a good time, and secretly hope that Brittany figured out her feelings sooner rather than later. Dianna sent a quick good night and love you to Santana before rolling over and falling asleep.

Santana lay in bed tossing and turning for an hour. She couldn't rid her mind of a certain blue-eyed blonde that seemed to haunt her thoughts more and more as the days passed. She knew she was stringing Dianna along like she had with Brittany but she didn't know how to change it. Her heart ached too much being so close to the love of her life to not try and distract herself while said love of her life was fucking some other Spanish woman who shared similar characteristics with her. Santana chuckled lightly when she realized they were both dating people who could almost be the others' sibling. She rolled over and checked her phone. It was well past 1:00 am and she'd only get a maximum of four hours sleep at this rate. Santana was surprised to find herself flicking through her contacts and pulling up a number she hadn't used in a while. Opening up a new message, she typed quickly before pressing 'send' and turning off the screen again. With a semi-satisfied smile on her lips, Santana drifted off into a light sleep.

A phone lit up in an apartment closer to the city with a new message and continued its consistent red pulsing until the early morning hours, when a thumb tapped it open.

**Tana: **(she'd changed it back to the nickname)

**Goodnight, Britt-Britt. I hope you had a good evening and are truly happy. **

**IWALY- Tana xo**

It was a little past 11 in the morning on Friday when Brittany finally had a break. She had just wrapped with Naya and her back up dancers for the week and had an hour break until her first group of 12-year-olds came in so she took the time to go grab some water and then planned to come back and spend some time on her own dances.

The bell chimed when the door opened downstairs. Santana slid her sunglasses on top of her head and tapped her fingers against the front desk to the beat pulsing through the ear bud stuck in her ear. A young Asian man, Mike she assumed, came up from around the corner to greet her.

"Can I help you?" he asked, wiping his hands on a white towel.

"Um, yeah, just here to see Brittany Pierce."

He smiled at her knowingly, to which she just quirked an eyebrow. "Sure, just up those stairs on your left, she should be done for a while."

The Latina nodded her thanks and headed up the flight of stairs. When she reached the dance studio she'd been to a few days ago, she found it empty. Figuring the blonde was just taking a break or something, she looked around at the minimal decorations to the room. There was a piano in the corner and a fancy speaker system set up in every corner of the room. Two walls were lined with mirrors but the other two had photos pinned to them. Some pictures were of Brittany posing with different artists she had danced with or for, while others were of the blonde and a bunch of younger kids. Santana realized that these must have been past and present classes she taught. After a few minutes, the brunette grew restless and decided to just sit and wait. Putting her other ear bud in, she lost herself in the song that was playing from her iPhone on repeat for the last three hours. She laid down in the middle of the dance floor and closed her eyes, letting the music and words consume her. When the song started again from the beginning, Santana found herself humming along to the music and then quietly singing the lyrics.

After washing her face in the bathroom, Brittany headed back towards the studio, only to stop dead in her tracks when she heard a familiar voice wafting through the air softly. As she got closer to the door frame, the dancer could make out the words being sung. She couldn't hear the music but Brittany knew immediately what song was being sung, and she just smiled at the brunette lying on the floor for a few seconds. Before she knew what she was doing, the blonde let her limbs react to the words and did what she did best: put lyrics and emotion into physical form. Her tone legs lead her across the floor in graceful turns and fluid leaps. Her arms followed suit and her entire body just seemed to know what it was doing before she did.

…_It's a quarter after one, I'm all alone and I need you now _

_Said I wouldn't call but I lost all control and I need you now _

_And I don't know how I can do without _

_I just need you now _

_Another shot of whiskey can't stop looking at the door _

_Wishing you'd come sweeping in the way you did before _

_And I wonder if I ever cross your mind _

_For me it happens all the time _

_It's a quarter after one, I'm a little drunk and I need you now _

_Said I wouldn't call but I lost all control and I need you now _

_And I don't know how I can do without _

_I just need you now…_

Sensing someone else's presence, Santana cracked an eye to find a beautifully familiar figure dancing to her voice. She smiled and continued to sing with a little more purpose, but stayed still so as not to disturb the amazing sight before her. After a few lines the Latina stood up to watch the dancer twirling around the room. It was just like she imagined in her fantasy, minus her playing the guitar and singing her own music. Brittany never looked as beautiful as she did when she was dancing. It was just so evident that she was in her element and felt the most comfortable when she was dancing, especially a more modern dance like she was doing now that was just about feeling rather than following laid-out steps. Brittany caught Santana watching her and sent her a shy smile. Dancing like this in front of just one person was kind of intimate for her but she couldn't resist Santana's husky voice. The brunette smiled back. As the song came to a close and Santana let the last few lines ring out into the large studio, Brittany spun and came to rest just in front of the shorter woman, merely inches away from her. With shaky fingers and chest heaving slightly, Brittany pulled the green ear buds from Santana's ears. They stood that way just looking into one another's eyes for several minutes; Brittany's hands grazing the front of the smaller woman's chest while she held onto her earphones.

"You are amazing," Santana whispered, never breaking eye contact.

The blonde smiled and blushed lightly, "Thank you," she whispered just as quietly. "I can never resist your voice. I always thought you should have sang," she said, looking down at her hands and realizing how close they really were.

The Latina smiled at the bashful woman in front of her and took her down turned head for advantage, placing a soft kiss on the blonde's forehead and letting her lips linger for a few moments. "If you danced for me like that, I should have."

Like all perfect moments, this one came to an end much too quickly. Brittany took a step back and looked back at the other woman curiously. "What brings you down here, San?"

Disappointed for the lack of contact, the brunette frowned slightly, "Oh, I was just in the neighborhood, had a cancellation so decided to get some air."

"Really, Tana? 'Cause I know for a fact that it takes 23 minutes to walk from your hospital to here, and that's with light foot traffic," Brittany said, with an eyebrow raised and a slight smile playing at the corner of her mouth.

"Well, yeah, it's- it's a long break and found myself around here so thought I'd drop in… I hope that's ok," she replied nervously, watching at her fingers played with the wires for her headphones.

The blonde let her stew for a moment, enjoying having caught the Latina so flustered. After a few seconds, she nudged the darker woman with her shoulder and flashed her a full smile. "Of course it is, San. I enjoy surprises and this was a great surprise. I've been thinking about you…" she trailed off. It was her turn to be slightly embarrassed at her word slip, she hadn't meant to tell her ex that she'd been on her mind nearly constantly for the last two weeks or more.

Looking up and noticing how embarrassed Brittany was, Santana was relieved to know that she wasn't the only one who was preoccupied with the other. "Me, too," she said quietly, waiting for blue eyes to meet her own. When they did, she smiled at the beautiful woman she has never gotten over.

Brittany couldn't help what happened next. She wrapped her arms around the smaller woman's shoulders and hugged her tightly. Ducking her head into Santana's neck, she breathed in deeply and reveled in the smell that was purely Santana. The Latina smiled into Brittany's shoulder and wrapped her arms around her tiny waist. It was a feeling both women had missed greatly, being held in such a comfortable embrace. When Brittany loosened her hold, Santana frowned slightly, already missing the contact. But the blonde didn't let go all of the way. She pulled away just enough to look into dark chocolate orbs, swimming with love and adoration. Before she could let her brain catch up with her heart, Brittany leaned forward and pressed her lips softly against Santana's. The Latina was shocked to say the least and stood still with her eyes fluttering shut, wondering if this was a dream. When smooth lips moved against her own, she knew it was no dream and pulled the woman's hips harder against her in an effort to deepen the kiss. Brittany threaded her fingers through the loose dark locks and firmly held Santana in place. When she felt a tongue run along her bottom lip hesitantly, she smiled and parted her lips to allow access. Both moaned into the familiar battle of tongues. Brittany bit and sucked lightly on the Latina's pouty bottom lip before breaking the kiss and leaning her forehead against the short woman's. When both had gained back their breathe, they looked into each others' eyes (that looked more like one big eye at that point) and smiled.

Brittany was the first to break the silence. "I miss you," she whispered, closing her eyes, afraid of what she might see in the intense gaze coming from her ex-girlfriend and always love.

Santana leaned back and raised her hand to lightly stroke Brittany's pale cheek, causing cyan orbs to peer back at her timidly. She could see how honest the blonde was being when she spoke, and she could see the love that was still there, just at strong as the first time they made love. Santana just smiled and placed a soft kiss on her lips, "I miss you, too, babe."

The dancer sighed and rested her head on the shorter woman's shoulder again, pulling her into a loose hug. "What do we do? I'm so scared to get hurt again, Tana, so so scared. But I can't deny that I still love you. I don't think I ever stopped; I just tried to distract myself from it 'cause it hurt too much. Seeing you with her, though… it's like having my heart broken all over again…" The brunette was quiet for so long, Brittany was sure she'd said the wrong thing and was about to retract her words when she spoke.

It was so quiet at first, Brittany had to strain to hear her. "I know, Britt. I always have and always will love you. I looked at myself every day after we broke up at saw the face of a liar, a coward." She pulled back to look her love in the eye, "I made myself try to believe I loved Andy so that the aching in my chest would stop. It faded, but never really went away. Then when I saw you at Quinn's party, it was like a wound that was just starting to heal was ripped wide open again. But I had made my decision and you were happy, I wasn't going to take that from you again. And at the bar after the concert, I was hurting so badly that I didn't know what to do. So I did what I do best, try to make my action speak louder than my words. It was stupid and immature but I didn't know how to tell you otherwise. When you left with her arm around you, what was left of my heart left with you. Honestly, it was probably my fault Andy cheated. I threw myself into my work so I wouldn't think of you but I always dreamed of you. And it was just fate that we ran into each other here. I'm so empty all of the time, Britt. When you broke it off, I was mad at you for taking away the light from my life. But I quickly realized that it was my fault and I hate myself everyday for hurting you like I did. Ever since that day, I haven't been whole. I've lived and made a name for myself, but I'm not alive. Part of my died the day I let you walk out of my life."

Both Santana and Brittany had tears streaming down their faces by the time Santana choked out the last few words.

Brittany held the Latina so tightly Santana had a hard time breathing. Whispering into her ear, the blonde said, "Please don't hurt me."

"Please don't take away the light," Santana whispered back.

They held each other for a few more minutes before Santana's pager went off, signaling she had an appointment to get back for. Brittany had to get ready for her afternoon classes anyway so she walked the brunette to the door and bid her farewell with a kiss on the cheek. Santana promised to call her later that night so they could talk and figure out what to do about everything. Brittany returned back upstairs and did a happy little jig and squealed with excitement. Santana, on the other hand, looked like a fool smiling so big for the remainder of the day. Even Dr. Abbgy had questioned her much improved mood but was never fully answered, all Santana would say is that her world had color again.


	15. Chapter 15

**AN: So this one's a bit shorter but it's kinda a big deal, little angsty. Sorry for the delay. I have the ending planned out, I am just figuring out the last two-ish chapters to get to there. School starts again tomorrow and I'm taking 19 credits plus work so I'll try to update as soon as I can. Thanks for the continued support! If ya'll have suggestions I'm def open to them.**

**Xox**

**B**

Chpt 15

"What's eating at you, Lopez?" Kelsey asked, slumping down in the uncomfortable plastic chair next to Santana in the hospital Caf.

The Latina sighed forlornly and looked at her co-worker with tired eyes. She really didn't want to tell Kelsey what happened, it was her worst nightmare and something she had been afraid of since college.

"I got called into Dr. Cuda's office earlier today," she said, feeling like a kid who had just been sent to the principle's office.

Dr. Abbgy's eyebrows raised in curiosity, "Yeah? That's weird, I can't imagine why the head of the Pediatrics unit would wanna see you. What happened?"

"Someone saw me with Dianna at dinner a few weeks ago and told her that we looked 'a little more than comfortable'," she replied, mimicking Dr. Cuda's voice. She sighed again, "I honestly had no idea this damn hospital was so rigid and close-minded."

Santana felt a hand rub her back soothingly. "It's not the hospital, it's just Aubrie. I actually know that in reality, she is a closet lesbian that just can't deal with her own sexuality so she does everything in her power to make it disappear from her life."

A manicured eyebrow rose curiously and looked at the redhead, "And how do you know that? She seems like a complete bitch with a pole stuck up her ass to me… Actually, she kind of reminds me of myself in college." She shivered remembering how horrible she was to a certain blonde almost 9 years ago.

"I can't imagine you being a close-minded bitch, San. And let's just say Dr. Cuda was moaning a different tone at the holiday party last year…" Kelsey said, raising her eyebrows seductively, causing the Latina to chuckle.

"You are so bad, Kels! I didn't even know you played for both teams. But it doesn't matter, that woman can't stand me," Santana's smile slipped from her features, "I honestly don't know why she wanted me to come work here so badly when she clearly can't stand my presence."

Kelsey was surprised to hear such a defeated tone from her new friend. They didn't hang out a whole lot outside of work but from what she'd gathered in the months since Santana had joined the hospital she always found the woman so confident and strong. This vulnerable side of Santana Mother-fucking Lopez (as the Latina frequently referred to herself as) was not something she had seen before.

"Hey," Kelsey said, nudging the tan woman beside her to get her attention, "It's not you. She has her own issues. I honestly think she actually is attracted to you and that's why she was pissed when she heard you were out with Dianna. Besides, her family is very Catholic and her father brainwashed her into thinking all gays were damned to hell or some shit like that. Don't take it personally…"

Santana just sighed again and rested her head in her hand as she peered at the other doctor. "Just be careful when you're out and about. Aubrie isn't someone you want to piss off too much. She kinda holds your future here at St. Luke's in her hands. It's not fair and really sucks but I like having you around so just be wary of where you are when you're out in public with Dianna or whoever."

"That's the other thing…" Santana trailed off, not meeting the green eyes looking at her.

"What's the other thing?" Kelsey waited several silent moments before turning in her chair abruptly, causing dark eyes to finally meet her own. "What aren't you telling me, Lopez?" she asked seriously.

Santana fidgeted in her seat and played with her fingers nervously. She felt bad for leading Dianna on. She knew the girl really adored her and they had some great times together, but she hadn't broken it off yet, even after her run-in with Brittany at the dance studio.

"I just… So you know Brittany, my ex who I totally fucked over in college?"

"The hot, blonde dancer who danced with Beyonce and P!ink and a bunch of other people? I heard she opened a studio here and is still doing the choreography for a bunch of artists and teaching a few classes."

The brunette stared at the paler woman in awe. She had no idea how this woman knew so much about Brittany when she was sure she hadn't mentioned much other than their past relationship ending horribly.

She cleared her throat, "Yeah, that one. Well, we, um… we kinda- I dunno, I went to her studio last week during a lunch break and we ended up having a moment…"

"Wait a sec, ya'll met up and 'had a moment' and you didn't think to tell me?" she asked exasperated, her small town accent peaking through, "I am so hurt, San! What happened? I want details!"

Pouty lips curled into a smile as Santana remembered her afternoon with the blonde. "Well, I went there, not really thinking, but when I got there she wasn't in the studio so I sat and waited and ended up singing to a song that was really kind of telling of our relationship that I had been listening to randomly-"

"And by 'randomly', you mean on repeat for hours," Kelsey interjected.

"Yes," Santana sheepishly admitted, smiling shyly. "But anyway, I was singing with my eyes closed and laying in the middle of the studio room when she came back and she started dancing to my voice. It was like an impulse; like she couldn't NOT dance when I was singing. She always loved it when I sang, which I don't do often, so don't expect me to do it for you. Anyway, so she was dancing and I was singing and when the song ended, she ended up really close to me and we kissed. It was like we were back in college again and she was mine and I could see so much love in her clear, blue eyes. I couldn't help myself. By the time I left, we had both admitted to always being in love with one another and agreed to end things with our respective significant others and try again. But now that I have been so nicely been reminded that being gay isn't something that is accepted, I am scared shitless and I don't know what to do. I can't make her go back in the closet for me, not after I hurt her like I did back in college from doing the same thing." Santana deflated and rested her head on her arms on the table. "I don't know what to do, Kels. This is the best job I have ever had and I don't want to fuck it up but I can't not have Brittany in my life. She's like the color to my world. Her smile is like oxygen and I don't think I can live without her."

Kelsey was silent for so long, Santana was afraid her friend had zoned out and wasn't even listening to her rant until the redhead finally sighed and spoke. "I can't tell you what to do, Santana. I've never been in that position before but I can tell it's eating you alive. It sucks to keep anything a secret, especially something as big as love. Have you told her about this?"

Brown curls swayed back and forth in Santana's ponytail as she shook her head. "No, I just got out of Dr. Cuda's office a few hours ago and I haven't had time between appointments to call Britt."

"Well, my only advice is to take her out tonight, somewhere that our co-workers wouldn't go to, and talk to her about it. I mean, this has a lot to do with her, too, and she deserves to know what's going on, right?"

"Yeah, I suppose you're right. I'm just scared of disappointing her again," the brunette said, sighing for the nth time.

Kelsey smiled at her and placed her hand on the Latina's arm. "Don't be. She might even surprise you." She checked the clock on the wall and stood up. "Listen, I have to go, I have another appointment in a few but talk to Brittany tonight and end things with Dianna. I think she saw this coming for a while now so don't drag her along any more than you already have, okay? And then tell me everything!"

Santana just nodded and placed her head back on her arms, watching as the shorter woman turned and disappeared around the corner. Pulling out her phone, Santana sent Britt a quick text and made her way to the bathroom to freshen up before her afternoon appointments. It was going to be a long day.

Blue eyes gleamed when they saw who the text message was from. But the smile was short lived.

**Tana 3:**

**Hey Britt-Britt, could I take you out tonight? I have something I need to talk to you about and I'd much rather do it in person than on the phone… -Tana xox**

Brittany worried her bottom lip between her lip. What could Santana need to talk to her about so badly that's better said in person? _Oh god, I knew I shouldn't have opened my heart up again. She's guna tell me she can't love me again. Fuck, why do I always do this? Wait, wait, she hasn't even told me anything yet. I can't assume something like that until she says so, not after the love I saw so clearly in her eyes last week. _Slender fingers danced over the keys typing out a quick message before Brittany turned back to her next class that was just starting to trickle in. Whatever it was Santana needed to say would just have to wait until later tonight, even if it did make the blonde's stomach churn uncomfortably.

**Britt-Britt:**

**Sure… Hope everything is ok. I'll be ready at 7. -Britt xo**

At a quarter to seven, Santana pulled in front of Brittany's apartment complex. She was more nervous than she had been in years, even more nervous than when she called Dianna earlier and explained everything to her (which she, surprisingly, took really well). This was not something she wanted to do and she cursed the world for always fucking up her chances with the dancer. There was no way Brittany would want to stay with her after tonight.

Wiping her sweaty palms on her black skinny jeans, Santana walked up the two flights of stairs to Britt's flat. It took a good five minutes for her to work herself up to knocking but she finally did. Moments later, she was struggling to breathe. Brittany looked stunning, as always, in a powder blue, form fitting top and white skinny jeans, highlighted by her black heels. Her blonde hair was curled lightly and swept over her left shoulder. It was amazing how great the woman could look without even trying. It was always Brittany's natural beauty that drew Santana to her in the first place.

Brittany nervously coughed, drawing Santana's attention off of her legs and back to her eyes. "Hey, Tana, ready to go?"

"Ready as always," the Latina chuckled slightly, and linked her arm in the taller woman's and led her to the car.

Once they got to the bar, Santana ordered a shot and loosened up slightly when she felt the effects starting to work on her empty stomach. She needed all the courage she could get for this conversation. They were seated at a small booth in the back, farthest away from the loud music. Brittany played with the straw in her drink, chancing a few glances at the gorgeous brunette across from her.

"So, um, what did you need to talk to me about that couldn't be said over the phone," Brittany asked, her voice breaking in the middle.

Sensing her discomfort, Santana grabbed the blonde's hand and ran her thumb over the soft skin before looking Brittany directly in the eyes. "I got called into the Pediatric Unit head doctor's office today."

Brittany's eyes immediately filled with concern. "What happened? You aren't being fired or in trouble are you? You just started there! They can't kick you out that easily!"

The Latina laughed lightly; she loved that Brittany still was so concerned and worried for her wellbeing. It was something Santana hadn't felt in her life since they broke up. "No, no. Not yet, anyway. Dr. Cuda informed me that someone had seen me and Dianna at dinner a few weeks ago."

At this Brittany's face fell and she pulled her hand back, realizing the brunette hadn't broken it off with her current girlfriend yet. Brittany had invited Carmen to lunch the day after their moment in the studio and explained to her what had happened.

"Britt, that's not why I asked you out tonight. I ended things with Dianna earlier today and she understood completely. It's just… Well, I guess Aubrie is in denial about her own sexuality and doesn't like being reminded of it ever. She told me that if I am to keep working at St. Luke's, that I have to be extra secretive of my relations with women when I'm out since I represent the hospital." She grabbed the blonde's hand again and forced her to look at her. "I don't want to do that to you again, Britt. I won't force you back in the closet and into another hidden relationship. It's not fair to you and I can't do that. But I also know that this woman is capable of making it nearly impossible for me to find other work in this city if I go against her wishes. I honestly have no idea what to do." At this she looked down, ashamed of the shitty situation she was in, yet again.

Brittany was up and sliding in next to Santana before the brunette was done with her mini rant. Grabbing both hands and forcing brown eyes to meet her own, the blonde gave her lover a soft smile. "Babe, Baby, look at me." Dark chocolate orbs hesitantly met cool, blue ones so Brittany continued. "Hey, listen to me. Yes, this kind of sucks that your boss is an in-the-closet homophobic bitch, but there is a huge difference between this and college. Ten years ago, you never would have even thought to have held my hand in public, let alone bring me to a club and dance with me. This isn't you hiding us, this is the world trying to break us. But it can't if we don't let it. I am willing to do whatever I have to to have you in my life, and if that means we are a little more careful with where we are when together then so be it. It's a small price to pay to feel whole again."

Santana couldn't believe what she was hearing. She thought for sure she was going to leave this club alone and in tears, not with the love of her life completely understanding and supporting her. She flung her arms around Brittany's slender neck and hugged her tightly whispering in her ear, "Thank you so much, Britt. You have no idea how happy you just made me." Pulling back, Brittany could see tears of joy shimmering in dark eyes. "Hopefully my homophobic bitch of a boss won't be my boss for much longer," she said with a watery smile.

"Even if she is, I am in this for the long run, Tana. I am not letting you go again. C'mon, let's dance!" With that, the tall blonde pulled Santana onto the dance floor for a night of sensual contact that could hardly be considered dancing.

BEGINNING OF JULY (little over 2 months later)

"Hey, B! Where's your other half?" Mercedes commented, greeting her blonde friend with a warm hug. Tina followed suit before all three settled down for lunch.

"What do you mean 'my other half'?"

"Oh, you know. Bout 5'4", if that, brunette, of Latin and African decent, hurt you. And I don't mean the 'stood you up on a date, hurt you', I mean the 'was too ashamed of her feelings for you that she shoved you back into the closet for 16 months and tore your heart out, hurt you'. What's going on with you two anyway?" the Black woman questioned, not even attempting to keep her dislike of the woman in question out of her voice or facial expressions.

"Yes, 'Cedes, she did hurt me. But you know I love her and always will. She's a completely different person now as far as her feelings towards her sexuality. And besides… we're, um, just friends," Brittany lied, glancing at her menu hoping that her friends didn't catch her stammer. She never was very good at lying to people she loved.

Tina piped up this time, "Friends, right… Well, shit. 'Cedes and I are friends but we aren't attached at the hip any time we aren't working. We don't have romantic picnics randomly for lunches or spend multiple nights at each other's houses. Don't bullshit us, Britt, you guys are not 'just friends'."

Brittany finally looked up and met her friends' eyes. She sighed and placed her menu back on the table. "Fine, we are seeing each other. But you make it seem like we jumped right back into things again and are fucking like rabbits in heat. We didn't and we aren't. We haven't done anything more than kiss, I swear it. I stayed at her place ONCE because it was late and we had both been drinking and I didn't want her to have to try and drive me home. So I stayed in her GUEST ROOM. As for everything else… yeah, okay we spend a lot of time together. And those picnics she surprises me with are so damn cute!" Pale cheeks were tinted with a deep blush as she remembered the numerous lunches she shared with Santana in her studio or at the park.

"It is really cute, B, and you know we love that you are happy. I can honestly say this is the happiest you've been since you moved here I think," Mercedes glanced at her Asian friend who nodded in agreement. "But we worry for you. You know how much you are an "all or nothing" type of person when it comes to relationships. And with Santana's track record with you so far we are just worried about you. I didn't know you when she broke your heart but I have witnessed a number of experiences where it's obvious you're still somewhat broken. I just really hope she gets it right this time and that she can put the light back behind your eyes."

"It's true, Britt. We love you and just want you to be truly happy. If this girl can do that, then great, but if she hurts you again, I'm afraid that you won't be able to pick up all of the pieces this time." Tina stood, rounded the table, sat next to her blonde friend and put her hand on her knee. "Just guard your heart, please, and make sure you guys take things slow. Relearn who she is. It's been a long time and people change. So treat this like a completely new relationship, because is every sense that matters, it is."

Brittany couldn't help but tear up at the love she felt coming from her two best friends. With a small smile and a few tears carving a track down her cheeks, Brittany stood and pulled both women into a tight, group hug. "I love you guys so much," she whispered, choking on the last two words.

Mercedes chuckled, "We love you too, girl. So be careful please." They all sat down again as their server came up. "Now let's eat, I'm starving!"

As the two divas across from her chatted on about their crazy lives and commented on how their boyfriends could learn a thing or two from Santana, Brittany just sat back with a smile on her face. She could not believe how completely blessed she was to have friends like this who supported her decision, even when they had their doubts. The blonde once again found herself thanking her lucky stars for these two gossip queens.


	16. Chapter 16

**AN: Just a warning, very angsty chapter but I think it's needed so show their struggles as a couple. Will update soon when I can. Thanks**

**Xox**

**B**

Chpt 16

Brittany stared blindly out the front windshield at the blaring taillights of New York traffic. Her fingers tapped anxiously on the armrest as she worried her bottom lip between her teeth. All she could do was replay the conversation she had not a half hour earlier over and over again in her head. It was starting to make her sick.

"_Hey, Brittany, it's Kelsey Abbgy. I work with Santana?" a small voice said on the other side of the line._

"_Oh yeah, I remember meeting you at the dinner party a few nights ago. What's up?"_

"_Yeah, um. I was just curious if you'd heard from Santana recently? She didn't come in to work today so I had a Nurse Practitioner cover her appointments and just told Aubrie she had food poisoning but she isn't answering my calls or texts…" Kelsey trailed off, concern clearly evident in her voice._

"_Actually, I haven't talked to her since the dinner party. When we left she was upset so she just dropped me at home and said she'd call later. Though, now that you mention it, she hasn't been responding to me either…" **Fuck, Santana, what are you doing now? I swear to fucking God if you went back to that shit again…** "Um, Kelsey, I'm going to go see if she's at home. I think I know what's going on. I'll keep you posted. Thanks for the call, bye." She didn't even wait before hanging up and quickly dialing Finn's number._

Twenty minutes later, and they are in Finn's beat up truck, trying to maneuver around city traffic and make it out to Santana's house. _She would choose to live fucking far away from all civilization wouldn't she?_ Brittany watched, as things got darker the farther away from town they got. There was little else she could do but try and figure out what set Santana off this time, so she went through that entire night again in her head.

_As timely as always, Santana rolled up in front of Brittany's apartment ten minutes early. She stepped out of the Vette and smoothed out the wrinkles that bunched in her cream-colored dress, before making her way up to Brittany's flat. After fixing a strand of hair that was falling in her face, she rang the bell. A blonde angel answered, dressed in a form-fitting powder blue dress that brought out her eyes and white heels. The dancer looked stunning with light make up and her golden hair curled softly around her face, pinned up on one side with a silver barrette. Individually, they were beautiful, but together, the couple was show-stopping gorgeous. _

_Twenty minutes later, they pulled up to valet parking at the hotel that this dinner party was being held at. It was basically just an excuse for a bunch of doctors from the area to dress up and drink expensive wine while smoozing. Santana hated events like this, but it was required that she be there, so she brought Brittany as her plus one. It was going to be the biggest test of their relationship yet. This was the first time they would be at a social gathering where they couldn't be a couple. Tonight, Brittany was just Santana's best friend. Brittany gave the brunette's hand a reassuring squeeze and small smile before dropping her hand and walking into the hotel conference room. The hall was well decorated and had a few bars along the walls. Round tables with white and gold tablecloths were scattered about and a long banquet table along the windows was lined with finger foods and snacks. When they got to the door, a man in a suit asked for their names at gave them both laminated nametags to pin to their dresses._

_Almost immediately, Kelsey found the couple._

"_Hey, Santana, I mean, Dr. Lopez," Kelsey said through a giggle. She was never one to be very formal._

"_Hey, Dr. Abbgy," Santana said, smiling back. "This is Brittany Pierce. Britt, this is Dr. Kelsey Abbgy."_

"_Please, stop all the formalities. Just call me Kelsey," the smaller doctor said, taking Brittany's out-stretched hand._

"_It's nice to finally meet you, Kelsey. Santana says you're just about the only friend she has made since being here."_

"_Well, Santana is an acquired taste, so I can see why that'd be the case," Kelsey joked, playfully shoulder bumping the Latina. "Hey, let's go get a drink. I need something to take off the edge with all of these pricks around here."_

_They each got a drink at the bar and continued chatting mindlessly. Santana introduced Brittany to a number of her co-workers and, to no one's surprise, the dancer got along very well with everyone she met. _

_The Latina was leaning against a bar just watching as the blonde conversed with a few of the other doctors, telling them about her experiences on tour. Kelsey noticed the small smile playing on her friend's face and followed her gaze to the pale woman laughing in a small group._

_Sliding up next to her, Kelsey broke Santana's concentration. "She really is something. I can see what drew you to her."_

_Santana's smile grew slightly as she tore her gaze away and towards her friend. "Yeah, she really is. I love that woman."_

"_I can tell. I'm really glad everything seems to be working out alright for you."_

_Brittany broke away from the group she had attracted and looked around the room. Her clear, blue eyes found the person she was looking for. Dark chocolate orbs watched with rapt attention as Brittany gracefully made her way across the room._

"_Hey, beautiful," she said quietly, "Care to join me out on the patio for a little while?"_

"_Of course, I'd love to."_

_The night air was brisk but it was a welcome change from the stuffy conference room. Brittany leaned up against the railing and looked out over the cityscape. She sighed contently with a smile tugging at her lips. Santana stood next to her with her left hand at the small of Brittany's back. The blonde leaned into the warm touch slightly, not breaking her gaze._

"_I can never get over the beauty of living here," Brittany whispered, trying not the break the peaceful moment._

_Santana looked at the blonde's profile before responding. "Yeah, it really it beautiful."_

_Blue eyes met brown and light up with a smile. "When did Santana Lopez get so cheesy?"_

"_I can't help it, you make me a big sap," Santana chuckled._

_They continued to talk quietly on the patio for several more minutes before Brittany got goose bumps and they headed back inside. Once back in the conference room, Santana noticed Aubrie speaking with Kelsey. Kelsey's face looked stone cold but there was clear concern in her green eyes as she kept glancing over in the direction of the patio. When she saw the couple come back inside, the concern turned into fear. Unfortunately, Aubrie caught on to where Kelsey was looking and strode over to the unsuspecting couple._

"_Dr. Lopez, Miss Pierce," she greeted coldly. "Santana, may I speak with you for a moment, in private?"_

_Santana looked at Brittany hesitantly, but nodded and followed her boss to a vacant corner of the room a few yards away. Brittany couldn't tell what they were saying but from the look of the Latina's face, it was nothing good._

"_Dr. Lopez, did I not make myself clear in regards to your private life?"_

"_Crystal. Hence why I make a point to only ever bring friends to these types of things and stay far away from the hospital when I do go out. Why, is something the matter?" Santana replied, trying not to let her voice waver._

"_Is something the matter? Are you kidding me? Anyone who isn't blind can tell that you and Miss Pierce are a couple. That stunt you pulled out on the patio, those windows are not that tinted, Dr. Lopez. Anyone could have seen your hand and how closely you two were standing. You are lucky that Miss Pierce has made such a good impression tonight. Because if it weren't for all of the positive things I have been hearing about her from colleagues, I can assure you that you would be without a job this time come Monday." _

"_Without a job? I haven't even kissed her, Aubrie! This is just ridiculous. I can't believe I'm being censored by a fucking career when I'm almost 30!" Santana said exasperatedly._

"_Watch your tone, Dr. Lopez. I like Brittany, but I don't want to see her at another work function again. You clearly are not as good as an actress as you are a doctor. I'd suggest you leave before people catch on that she's not just your best friend." With that, Aubrie turned on her heel and walked away, passing Brittany in the process._

_Santana stood there stunned for several moments, trying to grasp everything that just happened. Brittany watched Dr. Cuda walk briskly away before turning back to her girlfriend who looked like she had just been slapped. Hurrying over to her, Brittany put her hand lightly on Santana's bare shoulder._

"_San, what happened?"_

_The brunette flinched away from the contact like she had been burned, causing Brittany's hand to fall limply to her side. She looked away from the blonde's questioning eyes and mumbled. "We have to go, Britt. Say your good byes." Santana straightened her shoulders, plastered on a fake smile, and made her rounds of saying goodbye to her friends and co-workers._

_Brittany followed suit silently and just smiled at anyone who said goodbye to her. She was too distracted watching her girlfriend's body language to respond verbally. Once the valet pulled up with Santana's car, the gentlemen held the doors open for the women and shut them once they were seated. The drive back to Brittany's apartment was silent. The blonde kept stealing glances to her left but Santana's face was frozen in an unreadable manner. It was obvious that Aubrie had said something to Santana but the brunette wouldn't speak a word of what happened and continued to give Brittany the silent treatment. As Brittany climbed out of the car, she bent back down to look once more at her girlfriend._

"_I don't know what happened, Tana, but you can't shut me out again," she whispered._

_Santana finally looked over at the blonde and smiled sadly, "I know. I'll try not to. I'll call you tomorrow."_

_With that, Brittany closed the door and watched until the taillights disappeared around the corner. _

"Britt. Britt," Finn said, patting her knee. Brittany's eyes came back into focus and she looked over at the driver. "We're here. It doesn't look like she's home. Do you want me to go in with you or wait out here?"

Blue eyes scanned the dark house quickly before returning to Finn. "No, she's here. I'm alright, I'm going to stay here tonight so you can go. Thanks for driving me." She leaned over and gave him a tight hug before opening the door.

"Be safe." Finn waved as he pulled out of the driveway.

Brittany watched as the car lights faded for a moment before turning back to the house. She climbed the porch steps and reached up above the window just to the left of the front door, feeling around. Her fingers found the cool, metal key and she slipped it into the front door. She felt around for the hall light and flicked it on. Brittany closed the door and kicked off her shoes, dropping her bag by the table. She flipped on lights as she made her way deeper into the house. Once she made it to the kitchen, she froze.

There were take-out cartons scattered around the counter and empty alcohol bottles spread out around the kitchen. A half empty bottle of Jack was n the coffee table in the living room and the TV was on mute, showing some Jersey Shore rerun. Santana was most definitely not sick with food poisoning. It only took a few seconds for Brittany to realize that said doctor was nowhere to be found. She expected to she the brunette passed out on the couch but she wasn't. Brittany quickly rushed down the hallway towards the only light that was on before she came into the house. She pushed open the door to the bathroom and nearly screamed at what she saw. Santana was lying on the tile floor, surrounded by vomit and a few more empty bottles. Her shirt was half off and her sweat pants were around her ankles. She was clearly trying to get into the shower to clean herself off but didn't make it. Brittany pulled the sweats off and didn't bother with her shirt before dragging Santana's body into the shower with her. She held the limp body tightly to her chest as slender fingers turned on the showerhead. Cool water washed over the pair, drenching their clothes and making Brittany shiver slightly. After a few seconds, Santana jolted awake coughing and spitting out excess vomit. She looked around slowly, trying to understand where she was and what was happening. Brittany just sighed in relief when the girl in her arms started moving again.

"Britt? Wha-what are you… why are you…?" Santana tried to question, still clearly drunk.

Brittany shushed her. She sat the smaller woman on the shower floor and leaned her up against the wall so she could rinse off all the vomit from her body. She pulled the wet t-shirt over the brunette's head and proceeded to shampoo her hair and wash her body. Once the Latina was rinsed off, Brittany shut off the water and grabbed a towel. She helped Santana stand and then dried her off fully. Brittany left Santana sitting in the shower with a towel wrapped around her while she went to clean up the bathroom. Several minutes and many towels later, the bathroom was relatively clean and didn't reek of vomit anymore. Pulling Santana to her feet again, Brittany led the dazed woman to her room and sat her on the bed. She helped her into some clean shorts and a shirt and then tucked her under the covers. The dancer grabbed a glass of water and Advil from the kitchen and made the brunette take two and drink the entire glass before lying back down.

Once she was settled back into bed, Brittany sat on the edge next to her, stroking her pale face softly while humming.

"Britt," Santana whispered, "I'm so sorry."

"Shh, it's okay. It's going to be okay, I'm here. Get some rest."

The brunette closed her eyes and drifted off to sleep with the feel of soft fingers running through her damp hair. Brittany just watched as Santana's breathing evened out. She ran her fingers through the dark hair and hummed softly, trying to mask the tears silently falling from her eyes. When it was obvious Santana was truly asleep, Brittany got off the bed and kneeled down next to her head.

She leaned forward and placed a gentle kiss on Santana's forehead before whispering against her skin. "I will never understand what drives you to do this, Santana. But you can't do it anymore. I don't know what I would do without you in my life, so you can't kill yourself like this. You hurt me every time you hurt yourself, Tana. I love you too much to let you destroy yourself. I'm not letting you go." With a final kiss to her temple, Brittany rose to her feet again and slipped into bed behind the sleeping figure. She wrapped her arm tightly around Santana's waist, feeling the smaller woman subconsciously move closer into the embrace, and willed herself to sleep. She took in a deep breath, smelling Santana's shampoo, and let her mind finally relax. For now, Santana was alive. She would deal with everything else in the morning.


	17. Chapter 17

**AN: Here's the latest, hopefully everyone enjoys it. I'm just about done with this story so just a heads up! Also wanted to thank everyone who has favorited, alerted, and reviewed this story… It's amazing and I can't thank you all enough for you're kind words.**

**Xox**

**B**

**I realize I haven't done a disclaimer except in the first chpt so this is me saying I don't own Glee or these characters, just this story. Thx.**

Chpt 17

Blue eyes fluttered open as the first rays of the sunrise filtered through the open blinds. Brittany blinked slightly at the light and glanced at the bedside clock. 5:47am. She'd had, at most three hours of sleep. Glancing to her left, she looked over Santana's sleeping form, watching as her chest rose and fell. Sighing heavily, Brittany swung her legs over the edge of the bed and padded softly over to the window. She closed the blinds and threw the room back into shadowed darkness, knowing the brunette snoring lightly wouldn't like the light when she woke up with a pounding headache. Climbing back into bed, Brittany laid down and propped herself up to watch her girlfriend sleep soundly. Santana was laying on her back with her left arm thrown above her head on the pillow and her right lying lightly on her stomach. Even with her dark locks messily strewn across the pillow and her normally tan skin paled, Brittany still thought she looked beautiful.

Lightly letting her fingertips graze the warm skin of Santana's arm, the blonde let her mind wander again. She couldn't understand what brought the Latina back into this destructive behavior. When they were together in college, the dancer knew Santana had dabbled somewhat in self-harm in her lifetime. She had come across the light pink and white scars on the smaller woman's wrists and ankles one night cuddling after sexy times. It led to a rather dark and heavy conversation that Brittany really couldn't understand, but was happy to hear that the brunette hadn't hurt herself since they had met (which evidently was kind of a big deal). After Santana turned 21, she obviously felt that scarring her liver was not as big of a deal as marring her skin. Last Brittany knew, the Latina she was staring at had stopped abusing liquor a few years after they broke up. Quinn had let her know that she had cut way back after a horrific night at some grad party. Evidently Andy and she had been at a party and both were drunk but she sobered up real quickly when Andy had forced her into an empty room, ripped her dress in the effort to push it up, and then proceeded to try to fuck her. When the head of his shaft roughly pushed against her opening, she snapped out of her drunken haze and kneed the asshole in the stomach. When he finally stopped grabbing his gut in pain, Andy had righted himself and punched the wall behind Santana in frustration. According to Quinn, the brunette hadn't had more than three drinks in one setting since that night. Brittany sighed again, clearly that was no longer the case.

Santana stirred under Brittany's touch and slowly stretched with a yawn. Her eyes fluttered open moments later and groggily peered up through thick lids at the blonde. She smiled softly, wincing once she felt the throb of a great hangover starting to make its presence known behind her eyeballs. Brittany smiled sympathetically and leaned down to place a soft kiss on the Latina's temple.

Whispering the soft kiss, Brittany hushed the woman who looked like she was about to speak. "Shh, just go back to sleep. It's still early." She leaned back again and looked into sleepy chocolate eyes. "I'm going to go clean up the kitchen and make us some breakfast. You get some more sleep and I'll bring it in when I'm done."

Santana smiled lazily, nodded, and rolled onto her side to fall back asleep. Brittany kissed her temple again and climbed out of bed. When she got to the kitchen, she was reminded of how ridiculous this bout of drowning in alcohol was. With a deep sigh, the dancer picked up a bottle by her feet and continued to clean up the messy room. An hour later, Brittany was just finishing wiping off the counter and stovetop when her phone vibrated from her pocket. It was Kelsey. She had forgotten to let the doctor know the status on Santana last night so she typed out a vague text back and let her know that everything was okay but that the Latina wouldn't be into work until the following day. Returning her phone to her pocket, Brittany pulled open the frig to see what kind of makings for breakfast was in the house. A carton of eggs- that contained three eggs-, a half loaf of honey wheat bread, and a pint of milk. Interesting. Twenty minutes and an empty frig later, Brittany gracefully walked into the bedroom balancing a tray of French toast, grapes, and a glass of orange juice. She set the tray and glass on the nightstand before sitting next to the sleeping woman on the bed. Lightly brushing away a few stray hairs behind her ear, Brittany feathered several kisses along her girlfriend's hairline until the beauty stirred awake.

"Good morning, beautiful," the blonde said with a soft smile.

"Mmm, morning," the brunette said, kissing the fingers tracing over her cheek. "When did you get here? I don't remember coming to get you, not that I am complaining, though. This all looks amazing," she said gesturing to the meal.

Brittany sighed and stayed silent for a few seconds, deciding how to explain last night to her girlfriend. "San, Kelsey called me last night when you didn't come into work yesterday. She said she was worried about you and since I hadn't heard from you since the dinner party, I was worried too. So I had Finn drive me out here last night. When I got here, the house was dark and littered with empty bottles and take-out cartons." Brittany paused and looked away from the curious, sad eyes searching her face, before continuing. "I found you in the bathroom, passed out on the floor covered in your own vomit, and hardly breathing. After pulling you into a cold shower, you came to and I washed you off before getting you into bed with water and Asprin."

Santana sat up slowly and looked at her hands in her lap ashamed. She knew she had been struggling the last few days and was resorting back to her old ways of "handling" stress. What she didn't realize was that she had let it get worse than it ever had. Santana owed her life to the woman in front of her, and yet she couldn't seem to meet her eyes.

Brittany didn't let her stumble for words for long. She mumbled in a small voice, "You really scared me, Tana. I thought you had given up drinking away your issues. But even if you hadn't, this was taking it to a new level." Blue eyes sought out brown. "What made you go back to all of this, babe? I just don't understand. When you do this to yourself you hurt me, too."

A tear slipped down the blonde's pale cheek and dripped onto the sheets covering Santana's lap. The brunette finally looked up at her silently crying girlfriend.

"I know it hurts you… I don't know why it got so bad this time. Aubrie told me I am forbidden to bring you back to a work gathering ever again. Evidently we didn't do a great job of acting not like a couple. She threatened me saying I had one more chance and the only reason I wasn't fired that night was because you got alone great with everyone there. I'm so sorry, Britt," Santana said, reaching for the blonde's hand. "I'm really sorry. I didn't mean to hurt you. I just- I didn't know how to handle that. I thought we were doing amazingly well and when she basically told me to choose; I didn't know what to do. Fuck, B, what do I do?" she asked, placing her head in her hands and letting a few tears slip from her eyes.

Slender arms pulled the smaller woman into a strong embrace. Brittany stayed silent, letting Santana have several moments to let out her frustration and despair at the unfortunate turn of events. In all actually, she was pretty much speechless on how to react. The blonde had known Aubrie had said something to Santana and she was pretty sure that woman was a big reason why her girlfriend was so upset when they left that night and why she was such a mess at the moment. Britt might not be the most book-smart but she could read people and their emotions like a picture book.

When the Latina had calmed down, Brittany pulled back slightly to look her in the eye but still had her arms loosely around her waist. She sighed and wiped away a few tears with the pad of her thumb before speaking quietly. "Tana, you didn't have to handle it alone- you don't have to handle anything alone. I don't know how many times I have to tell you this but I am not going anywhere. I love you, Santana Maria Lopez, and nothing anyone says or thinks will change that." She paused to smile and place a chaste kiss on her lover's lips. "Does it suck that Dr. Cuda is giving you an ultimatum? Hell yes, but that doesn't mean anything for us. I will gladly stay in the shadows when it comes to your career life. No matter what happens I will always be here to love and support you. I don't want you to ever feel like you have to pull into yourself like this. What we have and what we feel," she said, grabbing a tanned hand and placing it over her heart, "is not wrong. How can something that feels this good and so right be wrong?" Brittany's soft voice grew stronger with her following words. "But I will not stand here and watch you destroy yourself from the inside out. If this is what working at St. Luke's does to you and to us, then you need to seriously reconsider if putting yourself through this mental and emotional abuse is worth the position there." Her voice softened again as she raised Santana's chin to look at her again. "No matter what you choose, I will always be here holding your hand." She finished with a gentle squeeze to the hand still resting over her chest.

All Santana could do was lean into Brittany's warm embrace and cry. She didn't know what to do but she knew that what was happening to her couldn't continue. She couldn't keep doing this to Brittany and she couldn't risk somehow leaving her just to end her own pain. Even though her chest ached and her head was pounding, the Latina felt comfort in the smell of the dancer that drowned her lungs with every breath and the feel of small circles being rubbed into her back. Things weren't going to get better right away- it had taken her weeks to get this far into her depression- but she had to start healing sometime so why not now? Breathing in deeply, tan arms wrapped around the dancers tone frame and held tightly, never being one good with words. Brittany buried her face in the dark locks and smiled. It was going to be a long and slow road to recovery but she knew this was Santana's way of telling her that she would get better.

_**Two months later… December**_

"… _Oh, let's do this right_

_With just a kiss goodnight…_

_And that was Lady Antebellum's Just A Kiss here on KCBY Mix 100. Now to Casey with your morning traf.."_

Santana groaned and rolled over to slap her alarm clock off. _It doesn't even matter how many times I have to get up at 6:00 in the morning, I will never be okay with this…_ she thought, grumbling and rubbing the sleep from her eyes. She flipped back the navy sheets and pulled her legs over the edge of the bed, bending forward to hear the satisfying pop-pop-pop of her back cracking. Stretching up again, Santana pushed herself to stand and trudged over to her bathroom counter. She looked into the mirror and noticed the slight shade of bags under her eyes. It was apparent she hadn't slept well last night. No doubt, it was going to be one of the worst days of her life. Sighing heavily, tan hands splashed cool water on her face before she brushed her teeth and stripped for a quick shower. A few minutes later, Santana stepped out of the shower with a towel wrapped around her middle and another in her head. Scrunching her hair in the towel and walking to her closet, the Latina pulled out black dress pants and a simple white, button-down blouse. Fully dressed, the brunette ran light gel through her dark locks and applied minimal make-up, before grabbing her comfy heels and heading to the kitchen to grab a quick breakfast of a bar and apple. With the apple in her teeth and her hands full of her bag and everything else she needed, the Latina grabbed her keys and headed out to her car and make her daily trek to the bustling city.

Twirling keys around a manicured finger, Santana strolled through the sliding glass doors and into the hospital. She waved hello to the nurses at the front desk and breezed by walking towards the Pediatric offices she had come to know as her surrogate home (other than Brittany's flat) over the last six months or so. Kelsey was standing by the Ped's front desk, thumbing through her daily appointments, when she heard the familiar clicks of Santana's heels. The redheaded doctor smiled at her friend.

"Hey there, Lopez," she greeted. "So today's the big day huh?"

Santana chuckled nervously and pulled on a curl falling over her shoulder. "Yeah, hence why I'm here so damn early. Gota talk to Aubrie before my first appointment in an hour."

The smaller doctor laughed and nudged her friend, trying to ease the tense atmosphere. "Well, good luck! Let me know how things go for ya!"

With that, the Latin doctor nodded with a tight smile and turned towards a door leading to the lockers for the resident doctors. She quickly spun her lock, threw her purse in, and grabbed her coat and stethoscope. Checking that her nametag was straight and her hair was out from under her coat in the mirror, Santana turned quick on her heel and headed down the hall towards her boss's office. With a deep, settling breath, Santana knocked twice and waited to here the "come in" before turning the handle and entering Dr Aubrie Cuda's office.

The Italian woman looked up from the paperwork she was glancing over and took off her glasses, rubbing the bridge of her nose. She gestured for Santana to sit in one of two chairs in front of her desk and then linked her fingers together and rested her hands on her desk.

"Dr. Lopez, I am surprised to see you here this early. To what do I owe this unexpected visit?" the lighter-skinned woman questioned.

Santana crossed her right leg over her left and cleared her throat softly before speaking. "I won't take much of your time, Dr. Cuda. I just wanted to inform you that I am putting in my two weeks notice now and will be out of this hospital the week before Christmas." She paused here to gauge the slightly shocked expression that flashed across the other woman's face before she replaced it with a stoney stare. "I also wanted to thank you for forcing me to realize what I need in my life and what is the most important things to me."

"Meaning Miss Pierce, I take it," the cold woman cut off.

"Yes, and myself. I let myself go the last few months and it was slowly making me hate myself for something that you made me feel was wrong. But loving someone, no matter who they are, as much as I love Brittany and having her love me equally, isn't and will never be 'wrong'," she said, putting the word wrong in quotes with her hands. "This is a well-respected hospital and I would love to continue my work here, but I cannot do that if it slowly kills me in the process. So my locker will be emptied and I will put in my last day of work on the 18th." Santana stood and without another word, turned and left the office room.

Aubrie sat staring at the now-empty chair that Santana had previously occupied, still shocked the woman had actually chosen her love life over her work life. "You'll have a hell of a time finding work!" she yelled at the closing door, unsure if the Latina even heard her. It was her reflex reaction to try and get the doctor to reconsider her decision. She knew that losing Dr. Lopez was going to seriously hurt the department, but from the look of how serious Santana was when speaking about her depression while at the hospital, that was not going to happen. With a heavy, almost regretful sigh, the head of Pediatrics slipped her glasses back onto her nose and turned back to the papers on her desk, resting her forehead on her hands.

Once the door clicked shut, Santana let out a shaky breath she wasn't even aware that she had been holding. The words her boss had said were still echoing around in her skull and she couldn't help but realize, from personal experience from the last few weeks of looking, how true her words were. But it didn't matter, Santana needed out from this hell before she drove herself over the edge and hurt Brittany again. Running a hand over her face and taking a few deep breaths, the Latina straightened her spine and continued back down the hallway towards where she knew Kelsey was waiting. When she turned the corner, the doctor in question was there chatting with one of the NP's but stopped when she saw her friend appear.

"Well, that was one of the most terrifying experiences of my life, second only to telling my parents I was divorcing my ex-husband because I'm gay," the brunette chuckled softly, pushing her fingers through her hair as a nervous habit.

Kelsey patted her on the back with an approving smile, "Dude, you are badass. I'm impressed and proud of you. How'd she take it?"

"About how you'd expect. She was surprised but tried to stay the stone-cold bitch that she is. I think she knows me leaving is going to hurt her, though. I could see a hint of fear in her eyes when she realized I wasn't kidding around."

"Hell ya, she's going to have a lot of explaining to do to the board about why one of her best doctors just up and left with no "real" reason. You okay, though?" the pale woman asked, concerned.

Santana leaned against the desk, smiling to the nurses politely pretending they weren't listening but everyone knew they were. "I'm fine. Worried that she's right and I will find it difficult to find new work around here but I have enough in savings for a little while and Brittany already said she'd help me anyway she can if I need it. God knows that woman's got more money than she knows what to do with."

Kelsey laughed at that. "Well yeah, she doesn't spend most of her money on useless luxuries like sooped-up sports cars and crazy expensive houses out in the 'burbs, like you do!"

"Yeah, yeah. You like them both so don't complain, Fire Crotch," the Latina retorted with her favorite nickname for her friend. She had to admit to the fact that her girlfriend was much more sensible than her when it comes to finances, but either way she knew things would work out as long as she had Brittany with her. Checking her wristwatch, the brunette sighed. "Time to get ready for my first. Coffee break at 10:30?" she asked of their daily coffee runs at midmorning.

"You bet! Later Lezpez!" Kelsey called over her shoulder with a sparkle in her eye that told the brunette the nickname was all in fun.

Santana shot Brittany a quick text telling her that the "mission was accomplished" before silencing her phone and pulling out the chart for her first appointment this morning. It was a three-year-old boy who supposedly "lost" a C battery up his nose. _Some people really shouldn't be allowed to have children, good God._

"Hey girl hey!" Brittany squealed in her botched ghetto-fab accent. 

"Girl, you are so black," Mercedes joked back, giving her blonde friend a tight hug.

"They don't call me "uh-oh" for nothin', Cedes."

"Yeah, babe, I hate to break it to ya but I think the only color you got is in your dancing," Santana piped in from off to the side. She'd met Mercedes and Tina once or twice before while at Finn's bar but this was the first time they were all able to sit and really get to know each other over an early dinner.

Brittany faked a hurt gasp and swatted the Latina's arm. "Hey, you like my dancing so don't complain!"

"God knows I do," Santana said with a blush kind of softly, but loud enough for everyone at the table to hear her.

The women all laughed and sat down to study their menus. The waiter came by to get their drink orders and everyone got an alcoholic beverage except Santana.

Tina looked at the brunette curiously, "Why not get a glass of wine with us? I can only imagine how ridiculously annoying dealing with sick kids all day can get."

Brittany glanced at her girlfriend and squeezed her hand reassuringly under the table. "Yeah, a glass actually does sound amazing, but I used alcohol as a way to drown my stress and it got out of hand a few months ago so I am trying to keep my intake to a very minimum. With Britt's help," at this she smiled at the blonde beside her, "I have limited myself to 3 glasses of wine or 2 mixed drinks a week. And since I have a romantic night planned later this week I am waiting to indulge in a glass then."

Tina gasped and immediately blushed in embarrassment. "Oh God, Santana, I am so sorry. I didn't mean to be insensitive. God, I'm an idiot."

"Hey, don't even worry about it. It's totally okay and I am comfortable in admitting I have a problem and am getting help to fix it."

"Well, Girl, I for one am impressed. It takes a lot of courage to admit that and actively try to change it. My blonde diva here is awesome for helping people through things," Mercedes said with a bright smile.

"I'm always going to be here for the people I love," Brittany beamed at everyone.

The women all continued to talk at length about their lives, how they know each other, shared memories, their ambitions, and so on over their meals and evening coffee (that Santana ordered after the meal). By the time the night came to a close over three hours later, the Latina was feeling more accepted and loved that she had in almost a year. She looked around at the faces laughing at talking to one another and had to smile at her good fortune. She had pulled both women to the restroom with her earlier in the evening when Brittany was busy chatting with one of the parents of a student from her studio so now there was really only one more person to talk to before she could put her plan into action. And it was not a conversation she much wanted to have.

A cell phone vibrated against the marble counter top while she was pushing the sizzling stir-fry around in the skillet for dinner. Not recognizing the number, she answered cautiously.

"Hello?"

Santana took a deep breath for courage and answered. "Hi, Mrs. Pierce, it's Santana Lopez… I'm not sure if you remember me or not…"

"Oh, Santana, yes of course I remember you. Besides, Brittany spends most of our weekly phone calls gushing over what new romantic gesture you did that week," the older blonde said with a chuckle.

The Latina blushed, even though the other woman couldn't see her. She hadn't realized Brittany had told her mom about them getting back together, though now that she thinks about it, she isn't at all surprised.

"Yeah, well, she deserves to be treated like royalty so I am trying my best."

"It sounds like you are doing a fantastic job of it, I haven't heard her this happy since she was touring with Beyonce and with Trisha."

Santana's face fell at the mention of Brittany's ex-girlfriend of three years but she quickly recomposed herself and pushed on to her point for calling the woman. "I'm really happy to hear that, Mrs. Pierce."

"Oh please, call me Susan," the blonde interrupted.

"Okay… well, Susan, I have a reason for calling you this evening if you have a moment to talk." Santana's voice was shaking slightly with nerves but she was determined to do this.

"Of course, honey, I was just making dinner for myself and Hannah so I have all the time you need. Is everything alright?"

The brunette swallowed, nearly forgetting Brittany's younger half-sister (her father had died when Brittany was in middle school and her mother had remarried and had another child when Brittany was 16, but they divorced and Susan got custody). _I guess I don't have to clear this with her since she's only 12._ Remembering she was on the phone, Santana spoke up, "Yes, everything is fine, I just need to ask you something. I know that what I did to Brittany when we were in college was horrible and unforgivable and yet somehow she has forgiven me. I know I don't deserve her but I want to spend the rest of my life trying to make her happy. She is my soul mate and always has been. I don't know what to do without her and I would easily give up my life to insure she was safe. So I would like to ask you for your blessing to ask your daughter's hand in marriage. I understand that I hurt her but I hope that you give me the chance to show you, and mostly her, how much I truly love her."

There was a pregnant silence that followed Santana's confession and request that cause the Latina's breath to shorten and her palms to get sweaty. Susan pursed her lips and continued stirring dinner while thinking. There really wasn't much for her to think about, though. She knew how much Santana loved her daughter and how amazing she treated her. She could hear the love in Brittany's voice every time Santana's name was mentioned. And Hannah loved seeing Brittany glowing with happiness whenever they got a chance to Skype. So without much more thought she took in a breath to answer.

"Whenever she talks about you her entire face lights up, Santana. Her eyes have that light behind them again and her smile is genuine. She has always been a happy person, as you know, but she hasn't been whole in a long time. But she is now, when she is with you. As I said all those year ago, I will say it again: you two were meant for each other. I can tell how much you love her and I know how much she loves you, so as long as you promise to always take care of my baby, you have my blessing."

Santana let out the breath she had been holding with a relieved sigh and smiled into the phone. "Thank you so much, Susan. Now let's just hope she says yes."

Susan chuckled lightly, "Oh she will. She'd be crazy to say no. So any plans on how you're going to ask her?"

They discussed Santana's plan of action for the next several minutes, Susan told Hannah about the proposal who then promptly grabbed the phone and squealed her excitement and approval into the Latina's ear, before they finally hung up.

Santana crawled into bed a little while later, still with that smile on her face. Everything was working out in her favor, _finally._ She was anxious to get this over with but she wanted to make it incredibly special, Brittany deserved that. So, with ideas and arrangements tumbling around in her head, Santana drifted off into a light sleep, holding a pillow close to her chest that her lover had used the night before.


	18. Chapter 18

**AN: Love this one, its super cute. Hope everyone else does, too! One more! And it will be up basically right after this since I have it written already. Love you all!**

**Xox**

**B**

Chpt 18

"**_You have one new message. To listen to your messages, press one."_**

_**-Beep-**_

"_**Hey, beautiful. So I am taking you out to dinner tonight. I'll pick you up at 6:30. See you then, I love you… Oh, and wear a dress. Kay, bye!"**_

"_**To erase this message press seven, to save this message press 4."**_

_**-Beep-**_

"_**Message saved."**_

_Hmm, 6:30 is earlier than normal; I wonder where she's taking me this time… _Brittany pondered that question while she quickly showered and dried off. With the earlier dinnertime, she only had 45 minutes before Santana would be there to get her.

Santana was freaking herself out. Everything was set up and dinner was in the oven but, being the perfectionist she was, she was still worried about something not going right that night. Glancing at the clock, she cursed under her breath and rushed to take a quick, ten-minute shower and get ready. Everything had to be perfect for tonight, even her own looks. Dressed in a modest, yet still sexy, grey and black dress and black heels, the Latina applied minimal make-up, grabbed her keys and purse, and rushed out to her car to pick up the love of her life.

"So where are you taking me tonight, love?" the dancer questioned after settling into the car.

"It's a new place, I think you'll like it. At least I hope so," Santana answered, biting her lip slightly.

Brittany noticed the nervous habit and rose an eyebrow, unsure as to why her normally very confident girlfriend was all of the sudden shy and insecure. "I'm sure I will, anywhere with you is amazing," the blonde said, hoping to relieve some of the tension building in Santana's shoulders.

The Latina smiled and glanced over at her quickly before reaching in the back seat and pulling out a black strip of silk. Handing it to Brittany she asked, "Hey, babe, will you do me a huge favor and please tie this over your eyes? Tonight is a surprise and I can't have you peeking."

Now Brittany was really surprised and curious. Not telling her where they were going was normal for the brunette but never had she gone so far as to blind the dancer. With shaking hands, Brittany did as she was told and tied the silk around her eyes.

"So, um, what's with all of the surprises and all of this?"

Santana smiled at her lover's worried tone, even though she knew Brittany was trying hard not to show she was starting to freak out. "I just want tonight to be extra special. You won't regret it, I promise."

The rest of the drive was made in silence, only broken by the soft music playing through the car stereo. After what felt like a half an hour to Brittany, she felt the car stop and heard Santana ask her to wait so she could help her out. Santana pulled open the passenger door and lead the dancer slowly up the walkway and the few steps. She opened the door and took Brittany's purse. The blonde's eyebrows scrunched together when the only sound she heard once inside was more soft music. She was expecting to hear a hostess seating them and the bustle of other conversations but she didn't.

"Wait right here for just a second, okay?" Santana said, waiting for the slight nod and then rushing off somewhere.

When she came back, she gently led Brittany farther inside and then stopped again. The blonde felt fingers work the knot of silk behind her head and then the fabric fall away. What she saw before her made the taller woman gasp and start to tear up slightly. They were in Santana's dinning room and the table was set with a cream tablecloth, china plates and sparkling silverware, and two candles in the center book ending a vase of five modest red roses. Blue eyes looked around the room and noticed that most of the light in the room came from candles scattered around the table and the chandelier dimmed considerably. Santana watched Brittany take in everything with expectant eyes for a few moments before pulling out one of the two chairs and motioning for the blonde to sit.

"Wow, this is amazing, Santana," Brittany gushed, still gazing around the part of the house she could see.

Santana smiled. "Glad you approve, love. Let me get our first course and check on dinner, just a moment. Would you like red or white wine?"

"Red is great, thank you."

The Latina nodded and turned to walk behind the wall that separated the kitchen from the dinning room. When she was visible again, she was carrying a silver tray with two small plates of Caesar salad and two glasses of red wine.

"This looks amazing, Tana, I can't believe you went through all of this trouble. What's the special occasion?"

Santana smirked slightly, but covered it up with a genuine smile before sitting down to enjoy her salad as well. "Well, no real reason, I just wanted to treat you to something a little different this time."

Brittany grabbed the tan hand resting on the table and squeezed, beaming a warm, loving smile at the woman she loved. Santana spoke up again, quietly, almost as an after thought. "And I got a new job at Mercy that starts after the New Year…"

"Oh my God! Santana! That is so amazing! I knew you would get a job with little to no trouble!" Brittany was practically squealing. "I'm so proud of you!" She leaned over and caught pouty lips in a gentle and passionate kiss.

"Thank you for always believing in me, Britt," Santana said, squeezing her hand lightly.

They chatted lightly about plans for the holidays and what the New Year would hold for them, separately and together. After both had finished their salads, Santana checked the clock hanging on the wall before excusing herself and asking if Brittany would like another glass of wine with the main course.

She didn't really give the blonde a choice in answering and took both of their glasses back into the kitchen. Pulling the food out of the oven, the brunette dished up two plates and fixed the wine glasses before filling them. She replaced Brittany's salad plate with the Chicken Parmesan she had spent the better part of the afternoon making and placed the refilled wine glass on the table.

Brittany breathed in deeply, enjoying the appetizing aroma of the food before her. "This looks fantastic, San. I didn't know you liked to cook so much."

The Latina sat and blushed slightly. "Yeah, well I haven't gotten many chances to cook for you, but I do enjoy it. I use to cook a lot with my abuela and mom when I was younger. But living alone, there is little point in cooking for just one."

The blonde took a bite and moaned in approval. They ate silently for a few minutes before Brittany lifted her wine glass to her lips for a sip. When she was lowered the glass, something caught her eye. She tilted her head to the right slightly and fingered the object before speaking.

"Hey, Tana? What's this?" she asked, in almost a whisper, not tearing her gaze away form the object.

Santana had been watching the blonde and saw her finally see the ring. She smiled and stood up, only to kneel next to the dancer's chair, taking the glass from her hand. She pulled the bottom of the wine glass off (she had replaced the real wine glass with a plastic one from a party store that came apart when she had refilled their glasses), careful to catch the ring.

The Latina pushed Brittany's chair back slightly so they were more facing each other and took in a deep breath, keeping her eyes on the shining ring in her fingers. She was too nervous to look Brittany in the eyes just yet.

"Britt, you know that I love you, and that I never truly stopped. I made the biggest mistake of my life almost a decade ago when I let you slip away from me and I have regretted that day every moment of my life since then." She paused for breath and looked up, finally meeting Brittany's questioning gaze. "You are everything to me. You light up my life with your smile and your laugh is the best music I have ever heard. When I am with you, I feel like I am finally comfortable in my own skin because I know you love me, and that is all that I need. I can't help but smile when I see you and I have never felt more love for someone ever in my life. My life moves to the beating of your heart. I love you, Brittany, and I want to spend the rest of my life with you and only you. You are all I have ever needed. So, Brittany Susan Pierce, would you do me the honor of being my wife?"

Brittany gazed down into deep chocolate eyes shimmering with unshed tears. There was nothing but pure, honest love swimming in them and she couldn't help but smile through her own tears. Leaning slowly towards the woman kneeling before her, Brittany pressed her lips to Santana's firmly, only pulling back to whisper "yes" in her ear and kissing her again, more passionately. Santana stood, pulling Brittany with her, and the couple kissed, wrapped up in each others arms for a few minutes. When they pulled away, both women had tears glistening on their cheeks and giggled at the sight in front of them. Santana took Brittany's left hand and, with shaking fingers, pushed the beautiful white gold band and diamond onto the pale finger. The stood looking at each other with so much love that it seemed both of their hearts were going to burst.

Santana broke the comfortable silence quietly, looking back down at the hand in hers and rubbing her thumb over the cool metal glinting in the candle light. "We should finish eating before it's cold."

Brittany had to laugh at that but agreed. The rest of the meal was spent talking and laughing together like they had so many nights before. Santana smiled at her new fiancé and could not believe how perfect everything had been. When they were done eating and had finished their wine, Santana took Brittany's hand again and led them to the front door.

"C'mon, our night isn't over yet," she said, opening the door for the blonde and locking it behind them.

Once they were in the car again, Brittany laced their hands over the middle console and Santana had to smile when she felt the ring on her finger.

"Where are we going?"

"Unfortunately, I promised Kelsey we would meet her for a drink tonight. She found her boyfriend in bed with another woman last night and asked if we'd mind keeping her company. I hope that's okay?" Santana asked, raising an eyebrow in question when she glanced at the beautiful woman beside her.

"No, not at all. That's so terrible. I can't imagine what she's feeling. You are a good friend to help her."

They drove for another twenty minutes and Brittany recognized where they were. Santana again opened the door for her and led her to the entrance of the bar, hand in hand.

Santana opened the door for Brittany and they were met with a loud "Congratulations!" once they entered. Finn's bar was packed for a Wednesday night. Brittany's eyes filled with tears for the second time that night at what she saw. A bright banner hung from the ceiling congratulating the happy couple and all familiar faces were beaming at her. Katie, Quinn, Rachel, and Puck all rushed to give her big hugs. They had flown in earlier that afternoon on the hope that Brittany would say yes so everyone could celebrate. Tina and Mercedes were there as well and gave the couple hugs next. Kelsey was there, too, with the boyfriend that had not, actually, cheated and was next to say hello. One by one, guests, friends, and even random strangers who were in the bar at the time came up to them to give them hugs and celebrate. It was almost a half an hour later and many tears before Brittany saw a figure she hadn't seen in person far too long.

Santana had gone off to talk to Puck (likely to give him the details of how she proposed) and when she returned a few minutes later, a tall blonde was trailing her. Brittany's jaw nearly dropped at the site.

"Mom?" she almost screamed over the noise of intoxicated conversations.

Susan beamed at her daughter when she got close enough to see the younger blonde. "Hey, baby girl. I am so happy for you," she whispered in the dancer's ear after enveloping her in a tight hug. She kissed Brittany's temple when she pulled back and held the future Mrs. Lopez at arm's length to look her over. "You look good, baby."

Brittany smiled so big her cheeks hurt and pulled her mom into another hug, squeezing hard. "How did you- what are you doing here?"

"What? Not happy to see your mom?" Ms. Pierce joked.

Pink tinted the dancer's cheeks. "Of course I am, Mom, I'm just surprised. You've never visited me before since I moved here."

"Well, when Santana called me this last weekend and asked for my blessing and then explained her plan to propose, I figured it was as good a time as any to come see the big city and visit my daughter," Susan said, smiling at the Latina who was trying to seem occupied with smoothing out her wrinkle-free dress a few feet away.

The younger blonde reached out towards Santana and grabbed her hand before addressing her. "You called my mom?"

Santana blushed a deep crimson. "Yeah… I hope you aren't mad. I got her's, Katie's, Mercedes' and Tina's numbers from your phone one night when you were over earlier this week. I just wanted everyone important to you to be here for this. It's a special night and I want this to be special for you."

Brittany was speechless. So instead, she let a lingering kiss to her fiancé's lips speak for her. Everyone started whooping and hollering when they noticed the happy couple kissing. They broke apart a few moments later, both blushing but staring adoringly in each others' eyes.

Santana and Brittany caught up with all of their friends, old and new, for the rest of the evening until Finn closed the bar down for the night. It was nearly 4 am when they finally said goodbye to their friends and watched as everyone from out of town got in taxi's, with promises to get together for lunch later that day once everyone had nursed their hangovers. Santana drove them home, being sober and helped a tipsy Brittany into her house.

"I love you so much, Santana," Brittany slurred slightly, sitting on the Latina's bed and pulling off her heels.

The brunette smiled at the blonde and pulled out a t-shirt and pair of shorts from her dresser for her to sleep in, as well as her own tank and shorts. They had decided to keep some of their clothes at each others' places for nights like that night, where they weren't anticipating staying but did anyway.

"I love you too, baby girl. Now let's get you changed and into bed," Santana whispered against pale skin, placing a soft kiss to Brittany's temple.

Once changed and teeth brushed, both women slipped into the king-sized bed, sighing contently.

"Come 'ere," the brunette whispered into the darkness. She felt the bed dip and the covers rustle as Brittany readjusted herself closer to her. Santana wrapped her arms around the slim waist and held her lover tightly. She kissed her on the nose. "You have made me the happiest woman in the world for the last seven months, and tonight you made my life perfect. I love you more than I could ever express in words to you."

Brittany hummed sleepily, tucking her head under Santana's chin and leaning against the Latina's chest, listening to her heartbeat. "Mmm, I love you, Tana. G'night."

Santana chuckled quietly and listened to the blonde's breathing even out some before humming softly. After a few bars, she sang the lyrics playing over and over in her head in just above a whisper.

"…_I knew I loved you before I met you_

_I think I dreamed you into life_

_I knew I loved you before I met you_

_I have been waiting all my life _

_There's just no rhyme or reason_

_only this sense of completion_

_and in your eyes_

_I see the missing pieces_

_I'm searching for_

_I think I found my way home_

_I know that it might sound more than_

_a little crazy but I believe_

_A thousand angels dance around you_

_I am complete now that I found you…"_

With a final kiss to a warm forehead, Santana let herself fall into the world of dreams, a small smile refusing to leave her lips even in sleep.

**AN: song is by Savage Garden called "I Knew I Loved You".**


	19. Chapter 19

Chpt 19

The house was still and dark. A light snow was falling outside and blanketing the ground and trees with a soft new white coat. The sun was just starting to peak over the cityscape, painting the sky with vibrant orange and pink hues. Breath fogged up the glass of one window as eager eyes widen with anticipation. The silence was broken with an excited squeal and the pitter-pattering of little feet could be heard running down the hallway. In a whirlwind, the door burst open, startling the two sleeping bodies lying on the bed.

Those little feet scrambled onto the bed and hopped up and down screaming, "Santy! Santy came! Mama, Mom, hurry! Come see! It's Chri-mas!" and then proceeded to jump down and run out of the room just as quickly as they ran in.

One body rolled over and leaned up on an elbow, letting dark chocolate eyes roam over the still drowsy second body. The first body leaned down and danced feather light kisses over the exposed flesh of a pale shoulder, back and neck, effectively waking up the other person. That person rolled to face the dark eyes smiling down at her warmly with affection and love.

Santana kissed her lightly on the lips and whispered, "Good morning, beautiful, how are you feeling?"

"Mm, morning. Tired, but I'd take this over being sick often any day," Brittany whispered back with a soft smile.

She stretched and watched as a dark hand pushed the covers back and ran lightly over her bare stomach, pausing when she felt a kick.

"Looks like I was right," the Latina spoke quietly, more to Brittany's stomach than to Brittany, "you, Caleb, are going to be quite the athlete some day, huh?"

The blonde giggled, "Yeah, he was doing some intricate moves last night, so maybe he'll be a dancer, too." Brittany placed a hand on top of Santana's and they felt their 5-month-old unborn son welcome in Christmas.

Their snuggling was interrupted again by an overly excited, blue-eyed brunette with soft curls falling around her head messily, who was complaining of being hungry. "You rest, I'll go get Lea something to eat and make you pancakes. I'll call when they're ready." Without waiting for an answer, Santana leaned down and placed another kiss on her wife's forehead before climbing out of bed. "Alright, Little Miss Sunshine, what do you want for breakfast?" she asked the three-year-old who instinctively grabbed her hand.

Brittany just watched the two figures disappear down the hallway and smiled. She never got tired of watching the Latina take care of their firstborn. The woman really had grown into being a parent, and was so loving and caring that it often brought tears to Brittany's eyes. With the sound of bacon sizzling and the mindless chatter from their toddler, the dancer let her mind drift back to how they got to where they were now, sharing their 6th Christmas as a couple together. After their marriage, both women were in a place in their lives and careers where they wanted to have a family. But they wanted their kids to reflect them and be a part of them. Santana offered to go first, assuming they had more than one child, but they quickly learned the sad news that the brunette was infertile. It broke her. Brittany frowned remembering the long nights she spent holding her lover as she bawled into her chest. Eventually they were able to get life back to normal. Almost six months after receiving the news, Santana came home from the hospital with a folder thick with paperwork. It was the adoption papers. Long story short, a little over a year later, Lea Maria Lopez was born to a 16-year-old high school student who made the choice to let a loving couple raise her child that she knew she could never provide for. At the time, only Santana was legally able to adopt her but after going through the complex legal actions needed, Brittany's name was added as well. Lea was their pride and joy. It was fate that their little girl who was not of their flesh and blood had the same bright blue eyes as her mom and the same dark, curly hair as her mama and her tan skin tone was a perfect blend of the couple's. They couldn't have done it any more perfect, and that's what she was: perfect, in every way. A little over two years after bringing Lea home, they decided to try for another child, with Brittany as the carrier this time. They found a suitable donor who was very respectful and understanding and supportive of their lesbian relationship and felt no need to be a part of the child's life if the couple didn't want him to be. With Noah's sperm, Santana impregnated Brittany late that summer. Caleb Lucas is due March 16th.

Santana found her wife gazing off into space with a smile on her face and absently rubbing her baby bump that was sizable on her small, dancer's frame. She sat next to her and caressed her thumb over her cheek, bringing the woman back from her thoughts.

"Hey," she whispered, smiling when Brittany looked at her, "what were you thinking about? I called you a few times that breakfast is ready."

"Sorry, love, I was just thinking about how lucky I am and thinking back to how everything came to happen. It really was fate all those years we kept running into each other. I have never felt more right than being here with you and our little girl,"-Lea crawled onto Brittany's lap and pressed her ear to the bump, listening intently for the tiny heartbeat- "It's just perfect."

The brunette beamed and leaned in to kiss her wife softly but with passion.

"Mama, I getting smushed!" Lea's tiny voice called from between the two women.

They broke away and laughed. Santana pulled Lea on to her lap and they both felt as Caleb shifted around somewhat. "Let's get Mom some breakfast and then we can see what Santa brought you, k?"

With that, the little girl was off and running again more excited than ever. She tugged on Brittany's hands and Santana helped her off the bed. They watched as Lea marveled at all of the presents Santa brought her and dug through her stocking. Brittany laid her head on Santana's shoulder, feeling a strong arm wrap around her waist, and interlaced their fingers. Both women sighed and smiled at the perfection of it all. It might have been a hell of a road getting to where they were, but one thing always rang true: they needed each other, forever and always.

Santana placed a kiss on Brittany's temple, "Merry Christmas, Britt-Britt."

"Merry Christmas, Tana."

**AN: It has been an awesome journey through this story with all of you. I want to take a moment to thank those who trusted my process with all of this. I know it was hard to sit through at some points but I think overall, this has turned out better than I anticipated. I am already planning another story for Glee (or two) and a VicTORious story as well so keep a look out all! Thank you again!**

**Xox**

**B**


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